Visitors!

Donna was here!

For those of you who know her she says hi and hopes to spend a month in AK in August.

For those who don't know her, Donna is a college friend currently in the States on furlough from her life as a mission teacher in Papua New Guinea. She is a part of the Wycliff team translating the Bible into the native language. She teaches Jr. High missionary kids who board at the school while their parents are in the villages working on the translation.

She is currently in the states traveling all over visiting family, friends, and supporters. I'm so glad I was part of her itinerary! We had a great visit. She really lights up when she talks about teaching the kids.

Here's Donna with AV.

Talking

Conversations I Never Expected to Have with an 8 Year Old

2. You do not need to wear underwear with your swimming suit.

First Illness

102.8. Damn that's hot!

Guess that kids tend to get temps but this new mommy was concerned. Everytime I took that kid's temp yesterday it was up another 1/2 a degree.

If I had known her longer I probably would have just kept her home, but since she's new I took her to Immediate Care (three hours later I was definately thinking they should change their name!!!). The NP thought it was a virus and possibly migraines.

So by 9pm last night her fever was down to 98.6 and she was normal this morning. This evening she was back up to 101.3 and complaining of a hoarse throat.

Of course this is all complicated by the fact she's in respite for 4 days because I have a business booth at a 4 day trade show over the weekend. She didn't want to go to respite (even though she knew the kids from another foster home). Poor baby, I know she was worried and a bit freaked she was moving again even though I reassured her she wasn't. I think it began to sink in when I said she was just VISITING this family and still LIVING with me.

So I made her go to care even with a sore throat. After all, we know she is a bit of a drama queen. And this trade show is really important to me to generate some much needed business.

I feel I'm walking such a fine line here. On the one hand, I know she can be manipulative and she blows any little boo-boo way out of proportion in an attention seeking bid. On the other hand, she has really good reason to be insecure and 1 week is hardly enough time to know the Mommy is trustworthy and really will come back and get you. I am her 4th placement after all.

Anyway, the respite giver and I talked several times today trying to help AV feel secure but also stay at the respite home. At 7:30 the caregiver called me and said her temp was up to 101. That was it. I closed my booth (the show was dead, dead, dead anyhow) and went and picked up my child. Faking a sore throat is one thing but how could she fake a fever? We cuddled on the couch while she drank gatorade and watched TV.

Maybe I'm indulging my heart too much. How do you balance a foster child's emotional needs with appropriate behaviors?

I still have no idea what I'm going to do tomorrow. If she's sick she can't go to care. If she's not sick... I'm tempted just to bring her to the trade show for a few hours. She'll see what I'm doing and get really bored and hopefully want to go back to the respite care home.

Just talking

Conversations I Never Expected to Have with an 8 Year Old

(or with anyone for that matter)

1. The prevention of skid marks and proper toileting hygiene

First Impressions

Thur - AV comes to stay with me

Fri - AV watches me do my makeup and hair in the morning. "You wear makeup?" "Yup."

Sat - We get ready to go camping that weekend. "Mommy, why aren't you wearing your makeup?" "Because we're going camping and I'm not out to impress anybody!"

Mon - AV watches me do my makeup and hair in the morning. "So who are you trying to impress today Mommy?"

Fake Out

I fixed stir fry veggies for dinner tonight. Chinese peas, zucchini, asparagus - all from the local Farmer's Market. Yum!

So AV eats everything but the asparagus and starts complaining. "Do I have to?" "They're nasty! "I don't like these!"

And so and so on. Typical kid stuff. So I tell her she has to eat three pieces. She gets one, nibbles, makes a nasty face, forces herself to swallow, chases it with huge gulps of milk. "Do I have to eat more? You eat it for me! I don't like it!"

I cheerfully tell her only two more and studiously ignore her - trying to prevent a contest of wills.

She manages, with much vocal protest, to get the other two pieces down. Yeah AV! Good job. Very proud of you!

I'm sitting there, mentally congratulating myself on managing this parental crises, when I look over and see this child gleefully chewing while enthusiastically spearing as much asparagus as her fork will hold. For a moment, a very brief, shining and delusional moment, I wonder if I've wrought some sort of food preference miracle.

She bursts into giggles and laughter. "I love these! These are so good!"

What?!?! Why you little stinker! And I burst into my own laughter. Such drama - not over the asparagus but at tricking me! So no aversion to asparagus, just an evil flare for drama. Hysterical! =-)

Miniature Bombs of Nastiness

Something to laugh at… I unpacked AV’s winter coat and tossed it toward the door to be taken to the front hall closet. She gives a shout and runs over to the coat. I’m wondering why this coat is so important…she starts emptying out the pockets. Good for AV!

Until she says “Yup, they’re still there”. Chicken eggs… raw, now cracked, half baked from the sun chicken eggs. Why the coat pocket was a good place for chicken eggs, I wouldn’t know.

So I leave the coat there for a moment while we finish unpacking the box only to see movement out of the corner of my eye – my dog is eating the stinky, rotten chicken egg! Yell at the dog, move the coat to the bathroom to be dealt with later. Return to what I was doing only to see movement out of the corner again… now Seby has pulled the coat down from the counter and is going for the eggs! Yell at the dog – move the coat again and return to the bathroom to now clean up thick nasty yellow yolk on my rug, the counter, the sink…

Yup, being a mom is going great!

I'm a Mommy!

I got my first placement last night!

AV is a sweet 8 1/2 year old girl. She's been in foster care about a year and a half. I'm her 3rd placement. Her first placement was a year long and had to end because the foster mom got a job out of the country. The second placement was 6 weeks long and ended because the foster mom asked that AV be moved. The reason I was given for this move is that the foster mom is a sweet person but not touchy-feely. AV is very much a cuddle bug - lots of hugs and kisses. The foster mom was uncomfortable so AV had to move.

AV is definately a touch kind of person. Within an hour she was giving me hugs, blow kisses, holding hands, signing "I love you"... And since I have no problem with hugs this is all fine by me. (There may be some boundary issues to deal with in the future but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.)

She finished 2nd grade and is working at grade level though she is weak in her math and reading skills. So we'll work on that through the summer. She loooooves to sing. She sang to almost every song on the radio and then switched to Sunday School songs during the commercials.

DCFS arranged for her to be in the YMCA day camp while I'm at work and with clients. The social worker gave all the Y info to me and AV needed to bring a lunch, water bottle, sun screen, swim wear all in a backpack. And I didn't have any bread, meat, juice, water bottle, lunch sack, sun screen or backpack in my house! So a quick trip to Fred's and $50 latter (!), the child is outfitted for the day.

This morning she woke me at 5:30am. She said she had been up reading and coloring "for a long time!" So I'm really hoping the early morning is all about the excitement and a new place and not a regular thing! I put her to be about 8:30 last night so maybe I need to push bed time back a bit.

Oh, and I didn't tell you that AV's long term permanancy plan is adoption. Not that I'm ready to adopt less than 24 hours after meeting her! But, AV will not be returning home (baring the unforeseen) and the social worker is moving to terminate parental rights in September. So the social worker is looking for a long term placement that could possible become an adoptive placement. And adoption is part of my long-term dreams...

The frustrating part is that we don't know if I'll be the long term placement. This all happened so fast... The social worker called me directly but the Placement Coordinator (a different person) had another foster family in mind for AV. Who's to say if that will make a difference. As you can tell, I'm pretty enthusiastic and practically falling in love already. I am trying to hold back a bit and work on a reality check. The future is very uncertain.

AV is very aware that she is not going back home and knows that the social worker is trying to find a permanent placement. I feel for her - tough place to be for an 8 year old kid.

I guess that's it for the moment. Now that I've gotten all this out of my system I hope I can focus on work!

Her X-Powers

KC and I went and saw X-Men III this weekend. Very good movie!

So at the end of the movie the credits start to play and we follow the crowd and begin to file out. Three rows below us, a pretty 20-something turns around an tells the stranger behind her "TV Guide.com said there was something to see after the credits!"

She was lounder than she intended. The entire theater paused their exit strategy, turned, applauded her and then sat back down! It was amazing!

But even better was the following 5-10 minutes. The credits kept going and going and going... I was sure someone was going to get disgusted with themselves for listening to a stranger and delaying their own rush to relieve overly-full bladders.

But nope - everyone stayed put. This girl had the entire theater in her thrall!

Finally, the credits cleared and a very important little scene did play!

I saw her exiting with her friend and she remarked she has been getting very nervous as the credits continued to drag on. I told her she must have her own mutant power to be able to hold a room full of strangers at her command!

Weekend

The weekend with KC was good. A very nice kid. Incredibly energetic but very polite. He voluntarily took out the trash and made his bed! Cool!

He also believes himself completely invincible. This was very weird for me as I have always been more cautious and never break the rules. KC , on the other hand, was bragging about diving over a 4 ft tall hedge and seriously wounding his elbow, showing off scars and bulging torn tendons...

He loves Mt. Dew and told me about some guy who burned a hole in his stomach from drinking too much Mt. Dew. True or not the guy was KC's hero! Gack!

I'm not sure how I would deal with this. I'm not sure if it's a young male thing, a unhealthy symptom of stress being in the system or some sort of combo.

At the end of the weekend, I asked KC what he thought about staying with me. He told me he really wanted to stay with another foster dad but this other foster home hadn't renewed their license. The other home is near to where KC currently lives and many of his friends, so it's understandable.

Don't know what will happen from here. I'll keep you posted!

Foster kid

So I have a 16 year old boy this weekend for respite care. His current guardians (a more permanent status than foster parent) are moving out of state and KC wanted to remain in the area so he could continue to visit his mom.

So we're doing a trial weekend. If it works out, KC will come live with me.

I got to say a 16 year old boy is a far cry from the 7-10 year old girls I thought I'd get! =-)

BTW - so far he seems very nice and likeable. We share an interest in TV, movies and books. He even likes some of the same fantasy authors I do!

Will keep you posted!

Stop Now and Save Yourself

"If we get a deadly strain of bird flu it may in fact kill all those who
attend church. The larger the Church you go to the more risk of death of all of
your family. Also small churches may kill off all their people."

Article here.

Restless

I was feeling super restless this weekend. My clients have all dropped away and I'm finding myself with way too much time on my hands.

So Friday night I realize I will go completely nuts if I just sit home all weekend with nothing to do. So I decide I need to go to the beach.

I've always thought it sad to live in a place but never know it. And I always day dream about weekend trips and seeing what there is to see. I've even talked with a couple friends and made definate someday plans.

But I never go anywhere.

So I decided I had a free weekend and I was going somewhere, damn it! Well, after making lots of grandious plans, I kindof chickened out of a 6 hour drive to the coast as a spur of the moment trip. Especially since I don't want to spend money on a hotel room. I thought I would camp and I found some great parks but I don't yet own a sleeping bag, tent, lantern, folding chair, etc. You see the issue.

So I woke up late Saturday and thought, Duh! there's got to be something around the area I can go see!

Enter Palouse Falls. I gathered a neighbor child and her friend and the two dogs and the five of us drove just past Washtucna, WA to the Palouse Falls state park.

What a great place! You follow this super twisty, curvey country road, turn off to a dirt road and travel between hay fields wondering WTF?!?!?! And then, as you pull into the parking lot, you can hear a low rumble. Down a short path, and the ground drops away from sheer cliffs and you see this huge waterfall tumbling down into a massive round cut into the ground.

It was very odd... You drive to this place going over gentle hills, and you kind of wonder where a waterfall could be. The land all feels at the same relative level. Then you realize you are standing at the top of a sheer cliff, looking down into a massive, round rent in the earth. The height of it was dizzying.



I didn't actually take the picture of this little guy. This is a Hoary Marmot at Palouse Falls. We saw three of them but all my pictures came out blurry and far away. And he's too cute not to be seen.


Next weekend is Father's Day. After that, I'm going to the coast!

The real perspective

My brother is in the Navy and is on a 6 month tour of duty - on a ship, away from his wife and two daughters.

Last week the ship was in Israel and he wrote several very enthusastic emails about how great that stop was. Loved the tours, the country, the history, the architechture - the whole 9 yards.

I told him I was glad he had such a great stop but it seemed kindof sad that the highlight of this tour might have come in the first month!

His reply?

"As far as it being the highlight, I will have to wait and see about the rest of the time and places we go. And there is always one better highlight... returning home, nothing will beat that. Period."

First Foster Care follow up

He was a nice 11-year old boy just at my home for respite (regular foster parents get 2 days of respite a month) so his foster mom and dad could go off for an anniversary weekend. He spent most of his time on the computer surfing the Lego Star Wars figures and outside fighting the neighbors with his lightsabers. He is seriously into Star Wars.

I did get really upset at one thing though... When I talked to the foster mom, she mentioned she knew it was my first time. (A bit of background - the social worker called me last month to take two sisters long term. We worked on it for over a week and then I decided not to take the girls. It was a tough decision. And then the social worker gave me new info and I felt I might have made the wrong decision. Arrrrgh. Anyway, I think the social worker thought I was feeling a bit gun shy about jumping into the foster parenting thing.)

Back to the story... I didn't mind the social worker telling the foster mom so much BUT the foster mom then told the boy that he had to be really good at my house because he was the first child I had. AND if he wasn't good and I didn't have a good experience, I wouldn't do foster care.

OMG!!! What a load to lay on a poor kid!!! I was sooo mad. I did talk to the boy and several times through the weekend told him he was doing good, my decision didn't hang on him... etc. I think he got it by the end of the weekend but still! I did tell the social worker who thanked me for the feed back. Hopefully this won't happen again.

The joys of working in a government system...

Stretching the lunch hour

For all of us who've always wanted a bit more lunch hour...

The Lunch Clock

First Child

Well, I have my first foster child. I'm doing weekend respite care for a 11-yr-old boy. This weekend is his foster parents' anniversary so all 5 (!) of the foster kids are in respite care. His foster father dropped him off Friday just before dinner and will pick him up on Sunday night.

So fare it seems to be going well. I've made the first parental sacrifice - no sleeping in on the weekends! The foster parents requested I keep him on his schedule - 8pm bed and then he wakes up on his own at 6:30-7. Fortunately he slept in as well so I didn't have to get up until 8am.

So a happy weekend to all of us!!

Spell T - H - I - S

This article in USA Today talks about the growing media popularity of the National Spelling Bee.

The article also includes a 6 word spelling test.

I got 1 out of 6. Which is just pitiful.

And I only knew the definition of one of the words (which was not the one word I spelled correctly). Seriously pitiful.

So, how'd you do?

Sleepy

Ever have one of those days when you just can't wake up?

I'm sitting at my desk swimming in my tiredness.

The scary thing is I had to drive to another town 1.5 hours away this morning. Thank God for good audio books, Diet Coke, Red Bull and pretzels.

And he huffed, and he puffed...

So this is what a wind storm can do... (Note the now-slopeing fence line and the chimney from the apartment the tree rests on)



Very thankfully, this was not my apartment, just the complex where I live (which is close enough!)




Angry sky but very pretty...

Hot, hot, hot!

OMG - 99 degrees today. It's only May people!!!

Work Vent

I don't get it. In this day and age why would anyone not understand that having bikini clad women on calendars or posters in your locker is a clear violation of sexual harassment policy! OMG - I'm getting push back and resistance from a supervisor and manager!! People who are supposed to know better!

Why would anyone not want to work towards a workplace that is free of harassment and discrimination for everyone? What you do at home is your business but the work place should be a place with standards set that are respectful to every employee, client, customer, etc. So have the nude calendar in your home shop but not at work! Sexual innuendo and foul language in the lunch room is not acceptable!

I am preparing a training session on harassment and discrimination for the end of the month. A one hour mandatory session for everyone in the company. I had thought it would be a light-hearted review since there's been training in the past. Now I'm realizing I'm going to encounter a lot of resistance.

I hate being the heavy - the police force. Part of my problem is that I want to be liked. That is a very bad quality to have in an HR manager. My job often involves policy and discipline which does not equate with being a beloved co-worker. I'm not a co-worker really to anyone in the sense of being able to gripe, bitch or just decompress after a tough day. HR touches everyone and everything is confidential so I have to be circumspect with everyone.

I do like my job so I shouldn't complain. I just need to find other friends and confidants outside of work - something I really struggle with. It's tough to find a good friend who will just let you vent.

So thanks for being a friend dear Internet!

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there!

Dad and I bought my mom car wash gift certificates and flowers. And this morning Dad made taco omelets for breakfast. Yummy! My brother called from somewhere in the Mediterranean which was a complete and wonderful suprise for my mom.

As far as my own motherhood status... I have received my foster care license. I had two call last week. The first child ended up being placed with a relative and the second child was also never placed I think because of the after-school, summer care help I would need.

So for the moment the spare bedroom is still spare.

Have a wonderful Mother's Day!

Wine Tour

I went on my first wine tour! The Yakima Valley in Eastern Washington is quickly becoming a very popular wine tour destination. There are lots of wineries all over the valley.

I have never been into wine but since I live close to this area and everybody seems to know something about wine, I thought I should do a little self-education.

The singles group I'm a part of was invited by another singles group do join them on a Spring Barrel Wine Tasting bus tour. So I talked a friend into joining me and off we went!

First note of amusement - there were three singles groups represented on the bus. My group is a general singles group - no age or activity focus but the membership does tend toward the older crowd. The other two groups were over 50 singles groups. So my friend and I, at a ripe old 35 each, were the youngest on the bus! =-) That was very funny.

Second amusement - 10 minutes from our first destination the bus broke down. To pass the time we had an improptu comedy show with several jokes and many grumbles that we didn't yet have any wine to pass around!

We stopped first at the Port of Prosser where we visited the storefront for Alexandria Nicole, Cowan Vineyards, Hogue Cellars, Kestrel Vineyards and Thurston Wolfe.

Third amusement - Spring Barrel wine does not taste good! As part of my education I learned that spring wine is still in the barrel and is a couple weeks to a couple months from being bottled. And then the bottles age for a period before going on sale. So spring barrel wine is much sharper than any finished product. I really admire the wine makers who can taste the spring wine and know how long to leave it in the barrel, and how long to leave in the bottle before sale.

From Prosser we moved to Sunnyside and visited two wineries there including Tucker Cellars.

Fourth amusement -I am, apparently, a complete lightweight when it comes to wines. After our second stop I was starting to get a headache the bloomed into a 5-alarm nightmare as the day wore on. I don't even remember the names of the wineries in between the first and the last stop. I was hurting so bad. I quit sampling wine - I had no idea that little sips would kill me like that!

Which was very sad because I was really getting a kick out of seeing new country and learning new things. I usually go for white wines and on this trip I discovered Viognier - which is very good. I even tasted a merlot that I really liked and I'm usually not a fan of red wines! So the middle of the tour is a bit of a blur. Which was sad for another reason...the best and most beautiful winery we visited was the last one on the tour - Terra Blanca.

Terra Blanca was by far the most beautiful place we visited. Many of the wineries are in a seperate location from the vineyards. But at Terra Blance you pass through the vineyards on the way to the winery. The drive remined me of several scenes from A Walk in the Clouds. I really wish I had been feeling better so I could have appreciated it more.

Anyway, with the exception of feeling completely ill at the end, I really enjoyed my first wine tour. I learned bunches and now I know what to send for Christmas presents! =-) Here's a few picts you might like....

Desert Bloom

There are a couple weeks each spring when the desert blooms with lovely clusters of purple/lavendar/white flowers. Then these tall yellow flower come out wash the desert with a pale yellow that bends in the breeze. And now the dark purple flowers that replace the lavender clumps can be seen in the low folds of the hills. It's a very pretty time.

And lest anyone think I don't live in the desert - check out the tumbleweed!

Random ruminations

Why is it that I feel I was closer to my core self at 18 than 35? What is it that moves us away from the person we are to be something we’re not?

I have had the opportunity in the last year and a half to re-examine and re-choose who I want to be – my attitudes, behaviors, views, opinions – everything. And what I find myself moving towards feels very familiar – like a distant memory. There are times when I can emotionally jump from now back to senior year of high school/first year of college and see a person I really like. But what happened to those in between years?

Yes, I’m divorced and that was very hard but I’m not bitter. We had many really good years together and I have a lot of really great memories. But what is it about those marriage years that pulled me away from the person I was?

I’ve actually heard from several other women lately that they have felt similarly. That somehow through the marriage and mothering process they lost their own personality. Some of these women are divorced, some are still married.

It makes me think – if I was ever to venture into the dating/marriage arena again, how would I manage the compromise of relationship while holding on to the core of me? What about this new foster parent adventure I’m about to go on?

I like this person I am becoming – much more than the person I was 2-5-10 years ago. How does one hold onto that and continue to grow?

Easter Sunday

Since you guys seemed to like the spring photos from around the apartment complex, I thought I'd share these. I took a walk in the local park on Easter Sunday...

1st Birthday

My sister-in-law just sent me pictures from my nieces 1st birthday. Looks like she's haveing a great time, doesn't it?! =-)

The Great Granola Plot

I've gotten into doing yoga. I've always loved stretching and toning more than cardio type exercise so yoga is perfect.

After doing this new yoga routine for a few weeks, I realize that many of the moves are familiar...from gym time in elementary school.

I went to elementary school in the mid-70's . Our town was very small, very quaint and had a decidedly "artistic" (read tree-hugging, granola-eating, sandal-wearing, shower-eschewing) bent.

My parents were not part of this group. They were very much white-collar professionals who scoffed at all things hippie.

So I wonder how disturbed they would be to know that my first exposure to that eastern evil of yoga was as a sweet, young, impressionable elementary school kid just going to gym class?

The Big Brother Excuse

Hi there - long time no speak!

My excuse is big brother. See, work installed a new tracking feature that now tracks each person's internet use (addresses and time spent at the address). So I decided I should be very good (being the HR person and all) and not do anything not related to work.

Which meant I never blogged because I'm too busy/tired when I get home.

But the powers-that-be discussed the company use of the computers policy and we decided personal use that did not interfere with business demands was acceptable. And since I wrote the policy, I'm now sure that taking a few minutes from my break to blog is a-ok!

Lucky you! =-)

Pictures of Summer

T and I walked around the apartment complex today taking photos of "summer". Here are her top three:

Anger Management

I got angry today. Some stupid situation that didn't work out like I planned.

So I ended up at home for a few hours...and I did the most amazing thing.

Usually I deal with anger by eating, watching TV, being still - any number of passive, unhealthy ways.

Today I actually decided to exercise - and I did! In spite of being dressed for the office and being off schedule yada yada yada, I changed clothes, rolled out my yoga mat and worked out for 45 minutes.

I'm so proud of myself! =-)

Foster Care

So I'm through with all the home inspections. Now she writes up the report, forwards it to her boss and then I get licensed. Turns out her boss is currently out of town so we're looking at least two more weeks of processing before I get the first call.

Thank you all for your encouraging comments. I am completely doubting myself right now. On the one hand I look at my schedule (yesterday I didn't get home until 7pm and then did two more hours on the computer). On the other hand I know I want this (as evidenced by my purchases this weekend which included a really cute red and natural wood chair to match the built in desk!)

So I don't need to worry about my crazy schedule and kids for at least two more weeks. Then I can worry... =-)

Just an update

Not a lot of new stuff going on. My business is booked for the next three weeks!

All the business is great but I'm kindof worried about starting foster care now. I don't get home until after 5:30 or so and then I always have a couple hours of work to do on the computer. How am I going to give the time needed to a foster child?

Or maybe I'm just having cold feet.

My final home check is on Tuesday.

Flooded

So this is what my office looked like Sunday morning:

My office is the open doorway. The men's room is to the left. Apparently the men's urinal water supply was running all weekend. Someone discovered the flood on Sunday. There was about an inch of water upstairs.

The real problem was the 4+ inches of water downstairs that leaked through the ceiling ruining much ceiling tile and a brand new, high tech copier.

Needless to say, it's a very interesting Monday.

Happy Day!

Happy Birthday to me! I'm 35 and lovin' it!

Out of Season

I talked with the vet the other day to give a Seby update. He is doing much better. We've now had two nights in a row with no screaming fits! yeah! And he's trying to jump more which is great because he feels better but bad because he's still supposed to stay quiet for another week.

Anyway, the pain meds seem to have messed with his gut a bit and poor puppy is suffering from constipation. So what does the vet recommend to unplug a puppy? Canned pumpkin!

I think that's funny and I love that it's a natural remedy.

So after a long day, I go to Fred Meyer's at 9pm to find pumpkin...in March (as opposed to November when it's handily located on the end of the aisle!). I look in the canned fruit... no luck. Baking aisle? No such luck.

I track down two young guys stocking the Mexican aisle. I'm not very hopeful they'll be able to help but...

"Can you tell me where to find canned pumpkin?"

With absolutely no hesitation he replies, "Aisle 7, left side, below the Jell-O".

Dude! That's knowing your job! I was completely impressed.

Drop the Junk

Here's my next article for the paper. And Heidi - I haven't forgotton your "what's next?" question. I'll get to it!

________________________________________________

As a Professional Organizer, one of the most common areas I deal with is paper clutter. So here are a few tips I share with clients to make dealing with the paper in your life easier.

1. Keep yourself off advertising lists

How did you get on these types of consumer advertising lists? Buy a mail order product, enter a public transaction such as a home purchase, birth, or buy a car. If you are listed in the white pages of the telephone book, file a change of address form at the post office, make a charitable and non-profit contribution, register for a sweepstake or a prize, submit a registration card or consumer survey, your name may be gleaned for future solicitations. To protect yourself, always check the Opt Out box or state “Do Not Contact”.

2. Get off the unwanted mail lists

Write or email the Direct Marketing Association to get off most advertising lists. You’ll see a drastic reduction in the amount of mail you receive in about three months. This is a general opt-out list; you cannot specify certain mailers. To get off specific lists, contact each advertiser directly.

Mail Preference Service
Direct Marketing Association
PO Box 643
Carmel, NY 10512

www.dmaconsumers.org

3. Eliminate unwanted credit card offers

The three major credit bureaus – Experian, Equifax and Trans Union established the National Opt-Out Center. Call 888-5OPT-OUT to remove your name from pre-screening or other marketing purposes.

4. Reduce “Current Resident” mailings

Locate the name of the distribution company near your mailing address. Contact the company in writing or by telephone and request that your address be taken off the distribution list. Include the mailing label with your letter.

5. Trash, Shred and Sort

Toss and shred as you open mail and sort the remaining important items into a Family Transition Center with mail slots for kids, parents and bills.

6. Contain and Limit

Choose a specific container for your catalogs, magazines, newspapers or other periodicals. Each time a new issue arrives, place it in the back of the container. When the container is full, toss the front (and oldest) issue.

Still here!

I have not forgotten all of you!

I've been been really busy - two weeks completely booked! Yeah!

Seby seems to be on the mend but part of the reason I've not been blogging is I'm soooo tired. He's waking me up 3-4 times a night and I'm just dead on my feet. I'm a terrible mommy but he's getting some Benedryl tonight. I've got to get some rest!

BTW - I had my first interview with the foster care licensor. We just talked for about 90 minutes - my life story basically. She liked me. We'll do the walk through next Monday and then I'll be licensed! My dad's pretty sure I'll have a kid by Tuesday. Ack! =-)

Finally!

Yipee! I'm not a criminal...and now Foster Care agrees!

I finally heard from the licensor today. Apparently there was a backlog...trying to get caught up, etc. So now I'm scheduled for my interview on Monday and the home inspection the next Monday.

OMG - this is really, finally happening! I'm stoked!

Seby update

So we think the pain episodes are being caused by a slipped disk/vertabrae problem/pinched nerve or some such problem probably in his front shoulder area.

Treatment - keep my super energetic dog from running, jumping or climbing for at least two weeks. Right-o. I'm going to try but I'm not sure how well I'll succeed.

Unfortunately the vet also found blood in his urine and thinks that he has a calcification in his bladder wall. This is the same spot that caused the surgery three years ago. But with his enlarged heart, anethstesia is an issue. So she wants to do an echocardiogram first.

But here's the dilemma - no money. All of the above is terribly expensive. I'm really attached to my dog but I'm really attached to the idea of not filing for bankrupcy too! Sigh...

So a couple Seby stories... The heartbreaking one first...

Last night I had been asleep for about an hour. Seby cries out but this time he doesn't stop after the initial yelp. He screams his high pitched, agonizing puppy wail for at least half a minute or longer.

It felt like an eternity. I tried to pick him up but I couldn't figure out how to pick him up and not hurt him more 'cause I still don't know what causes the pain! I finally got him against my chest, spine straight, fully supporting his weight and his cries ebbed to whimpers.

We went into the living room and I tried setting him down. His front legs collapsed under him. He tried to sit up but his legs wouldn't hold his weight. He finally just laid down. A bit later he was up and moving again but my poor mother's heart...

And a funny story...
My puppy, like most dogs, does not like baths. Over the years he's learned to tolerate it but they're definately not a voluntary activity.

Lately, Seby has been at my heels following me everywhere when I'm home. It's been rather annoying since I'm paranoid about stepping on him and causing pain but I also need to be able to walk.

Anyway, so I go to take a shower. One second after I get in, thunk!, there's Seby. OK - that's just too funny! My dog is soooo in need of cuddles that he braves the dreaded bathtub! So I talk sweetly and put him out of the tub.

Thunk! Two seconds later, he's back! So I put him out again and sternly order "Stay!". After all, getting wet and cold can't be a good thing for a hurting puppy!

So I finally lean back to get my hair wet and I feel something the back of my calves. Let me just say that jumping in suprise in a wet bathtub is not a good scenario. (no mishaps though, fortunately) Yep, it was Seby. He worked his way to the front of the tub and jumped in again - technically still obeying the mom's stay command issued at the far side of the tub.

At this point I have to work very hard to keep the amusement out of my voice and order him to stay out of the tub. He did stay out and we cuddled on the couch for hours after. The things a mom will do...

Just another day

"After heating the item in the microwave, the clerk discovered what he thought was a severed penis. " The story...

Ya know, I think I would call this a mental health workers comp event.

Not good news...

I took Seby back to the vet today. He's still in pain.

We took x-rays. They show a possible kidney stone, arthritis in his lower spine and a very enlarged heart.

They drew blood and urine for testing and gave him some pain pills. I'm dropping him off tomorrow for a whole day of observation. The vet wants to see if they can observe what is hurting him.

I will not panic, I will not panic, I will not panic...

Business Slogan

So I'm a Professional Organizer. One thing that I've noticed is that people do not get what I do. They seem to think I come and give advise or make a plan.

What I actually do is the work. Have piles of papers in your office? I'll come create a filing system and file all those papers leaving you with a clean and organized office. Stuff falling out of the closet everytime you open the door? I'll come sort through all your stuff and replace what belongs in the closet in an organized manner. I'll even take the stuff you don't want to Goodwill!

Ever see Mission:Organization or Clean Sweep? I do that. (Just not in 30 minutes and with a crew of 50 helpers).

So in my part of the country, people seem to have no idea that there is someone out there who will clean and organize their mess. So I have to educate on what I do in addition to selling myself as the best person to do it.

So I think I need a new slogan/introduction that more clearly educates and intrigues the public. I used to use "I help get homes and businesses organized." or some such variation. Here's some new options:

1. I do the work!
2. I do the work of getting people, homes and businesses organized.
3. I de-clutter and organize all the spaces of your home.

Any of these help clarrify what I do? Intrigue you enough to ask me more questions? Make you want to hire me?

Vote now! Your opinions are appreciated!

Seby's Heart

I really hope this isn't a big thing...

I took Seby, my 10-year-old male Shih Tzu to the vet yesterday. He's been yelping for seemingly no reason. So she (the vet) said he seemed a bit consitpated and expressed the glands and noted that he has developed a touch of arthritis in the backbone by his tail. So I'll watch him for the next day and see if he starts feeling better.

But while she was doing the exam she discovered a heart murmer. Rated it a 3 on a scale of 1-6. In half the cases it won't ever bother the dog. In the other half it leads to heart failure.

He can't be in the other half...

Mom surgery

My mom is having surgery on Friday. She tore something in her knee and has some sort of blood filled cyst (she is sooo reluctant to give me details!). With the amazing technology today, it will be out-patient surgery and then she'll be off her feet for two weeks.

So all thoughts, prayers and good wishes are welcomed. She's really nervous. My dad is going out of town Saturday so I get to go "babysit". I'm so glad I'm here to help.

What a B*#@!

I just talked to the apartment complex manager. I haven't really talked to her in months - winter hibernation and all.

Anyway... she told me the most interesting story. Apparently my former roommate went to see the manager the day after I gave the roommate her eviction notice. "Did you know KK is evicting me? Without notice? And that she's going to put kids in that room? Foster kids!"

What a bitch! Trying to get me into trouble because she had to move! And such lies!

Fortunately my manager is great and told the former roommate the eviction was between her and I and that I had mentioned taking foster kids and she thought it was great (I hadn't mentioned it but she covered for me - so nice!)

Did I tell you yet that I'm really glad that roommate is gone?

Home Show Report

What a great weekend! Only one confirmed booking but lots and lots of exposure and creating good "buzz" about my business!

I gave three one-hour presentations and had the best turn-out of any presentor! I had 35 people on Sunday for my Organizing Your Closets and Garage workshop.

Being an enthusiastic presentor, I rarely use a mic because my voice carries quite easily. Weeeellll, after three presentations and 27 hours in the booth, my voice is shot. Guess I should use the mic!

Home Show

This weekend I'm at the Home Show again and I'm presenting three workshops! This is a great opportunity...if it results in paying clients! I'm off to try and finish my PowerPoint on Organizing Your Closets and Garage.

It's great to meet people but the weekend is sooo long. Tomorrow I'm at my booth from 9am - 8pm. Gack!

Staples

So Staples wants to know what you think of their new commercial "The Wall". There's also a great time wasting game to pitch the Chinese emporer in the commercial over the Great Wall. $1,000 Staples card to the highest score.

Thoughts for Damn Smart, Amazing, Good Looking Women!

Today is International Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman's Day (probably not but it sounds good!). If you are reading this, assume you are a Very Good Looking, Damn Smart woman.


A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
-Rhonda Hansome-


The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
-Jane Sellman-


Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited-


Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
-Charlotte Whitton-


Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen-


I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-


If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
-Catherine-


If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-


When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
-Elayne Boosler-


Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson-


In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher-



I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinem-


Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-

Free Autograph to all Critics

Here's my (almost) final draft of the organizing article. All that remains is honest feedback from my closest web buddies!

Getting Organized

How do you get organized? First do a bit of mental organizing to get yourself ready. Pick a specific area to start organizing. Organizing the whole house is too overwhelming. Instead focus on one shelf or closet or room.

Next, picture the area in your mind and then picture the area as you want it to be – organized and clutter free. Lock that finished picture in your mind and draw your inspiration from it!

There’s no magic to choosing where you start. Pick a smaller, easier job to build your confidence and keep focused on that one job until you’re finished. Then move on to the next area.

Sort items into similar categories – similar sized clothing, hardware, computer accessories, etc. As you sort through your items ask yourself if you really need to keep it. Do you like that picture frame from your aunt? Do you love how you look in that dress? Do you really need 25 empty milk jugs?

Items that you don’t need to keep can be trashed, boxed and saved for a yard sale, or donated to charity. There are many organizations that appreciate quality used items but go ahead and sort out the broken, stained, ripped and torn items and donate the best.

Choose where each category of items are to be stored. All holiday items in the garage? All the light bulbs in the pantry? All the books in the bookshelf? As you sort through each area, keep Like with Like and store similar items all in one place.

Often items need some sort of container to keep them together. A small jar for thumbtacks. An under bed rolling storage unit for wrapping paper and supplies. A basket for electronic remotes. Hooks for purses, coats and backpacks. There are lots of fun options available to containerize every area of your home.

Remember your mental picture? How did you do? Follow these steps for each area of your home to enjoy the peace and comfort of living in your own organized space.

Great Opportunity!

The local monthly entertainment magazine has asked me to write a monthly column on organization! Isn't that sooooo cool!??!

So, if you were to read a short article on how to get organized, what would you want to know? Newbie writer want to make a good impression and needs your help ASAP! Article is due the 14th!

Chemical Trail

Has anyone out there ever actually used up a 4lb box of baking soda? Did you even know you could buy that big of a box of baking soda?

Well, it seems as if I have finally conquered the evil moth ball odor - 4lbs of baking soda and 1gal of white vinegar later! Fortunately, baking soda and white vinegar are very cheap. (or it would have been cheaper to buy new blankets JD!)

The blankets passed a sniff test by my 10 and 9 year old friends who I trust not to hold back their true feelings on the subject. They were the ones who told me my house smelled "weird" when I first brought the blankets in.

I have failed to remove the oder from the waterproof mattress pad though. That thing still stinks to high heaven. I'll leave it to air out for another week and maybe it'll be better. If not, I'm returning it to my mom (who gave me all this stuff for free in the first place.)

Guess What?!?!

I just did something so completely out of character... I went to a singles gathering! Strangers!- I went to a new restaurant, unannounced, not knowing anybody!

I'm so proud of myself! I guess it sometimes pays to not think too much!

There were 7 people gathered for dinner. Another guy was also new. Mostly older folks. But a very nice chat and I think I might attend the Sunday morning breakfast.

It seems to be a really active group - meeting 3-4 times a week. They said between 12-30 people show up for each event. The email notices get sent to 350 people.

Such an interesting thing for me to do! Maybe I'll make some new friends!

How To

How to remove mothball odor from vellux blankets:

1. Wash in hot water with double soap and Clorox II.
2. Repeat.
3. Dry with Bounce sheet.
4. Test smell the blanket. Gag.
5. Double bag the blankets in black garbage bags and toss onto patio.
6. Ignore the bags for a week.
7. Add activated charcoal and a Bounce sheet to the bags.
8. Ignore the bags through wind, rain and storm for a few more weeks.
9. Kick your roommate out.
10. Test smell the blankets. Gag.
11. Air out the blankets on the patio fence and improvised clothes line for two days.
12. Wash in double soap, double Clorox II, 1 cup of vinegar and 1/2 cup baking soda. Let soak for at least two hours.
13. TSTB. G.
14. Fill the washer again increasing the vinegar and baking soda. Let soak overnight.
15. Wash as normal.
16. TSTB. Possible improvement.
17. Dry with two sheets of Bounce.
18. TSTB. Wrinkle nose quizically at the faint mothball-strong Bounce odor.
19. Air out the blankets for another couple days.
20. TBD (will report later)

SciFi

They stand in line in front of the golden door. No one talks. The golden door opens silently and the line proceeds forward. The door closes. Those left in front of the door wait. The door opens again to reveal the now empty chamber. Once again the line presses forward.

Inside the chamber, the people crowd together yet never touch. The golden door closes. Machinery sounds...

And someone to the side snickers...and the entire elevator of prospective jurors starts laughing as we all realize we felt strangely caught up in the same B-movie, scifi plot.

To Remember

Things not to do at a client's house:

1 - test spray a small can of an unknown substance with a worn lable only to more closely peer at the lable and read "Attack Dog Spray".

2 - smile and say you're fine while coughing, wheezing and sniffling.

Freaky

I met a new acquaintance this weekend - possibly a new friend.

After 15 minutes we found we had the following in common:

Both into kids (she's adopted two from Brazil which is a place I always wanted to adopt from)
Both work in HR
Both moved to the area about 18 months ago
Both divorced from gay ex-husbands

I thought that was a lot of major points in common.

Contest

My roomie asked for her cleaning/damage deposit back.

I said no.

We had a staring contest.

I won.

Foster Care update

I don't have TB (I know you were worried). I might be a criminal - FBI is still checking my prints. I need to buy activated charcoal 'cause syrup of ipecac is out of style. And I need to get a fire extinquisher in case I have a pyro child.

FBI should get back to DCFS 1st week in March. Then I can schedule my home study. Then I'll be open for business!

Tech literate

My mother bought a computer.

That my mom bought an expensive computer is not a shock. That she bought a computer is a complete shock.

My mom has alway avoided technology. When she got her DVR it took me 20 minutes in person and several follow up calls to explain using the remote. She does not shop online, do email, write letters or otherwise use computers.

Mom is a talented bookkeeper and she actually knows her stuff since she's always done the books on paper. She got a new job as a bookkeeper at a doctor's office and they use QuickBooks. She's learning and is now enrolled in an on-line class.

So, since she has an online class she goes out a buys a super-douper laptop and spends a ton of money.

I think I'm really blogging about this because Mom buying an expensive computer she can't afford because she "deserves" it and "needs" it has brought some of my own patterns of spending into sharp relief.

Remember my motto for the new year? Every thing counts. Every dollar I spend has to be paid. And I realize I've had a deficit spending mentality demonstrated for me. That somehow if I "need" or "deserve" something it doesn't count. Well that's certaintly not true! =-) No excuses or blame - just some self-discovery so I can correct my bad habits.

And only under-spending can correct over-spending. Very painful.

Beds

Look what I found on Craig's List! Bunk beds - with storage - and a desk! Mattresses included!

I hope this will work well! I have to drive 4 hours to pick them up next weekend. What was I saying about looking forward to having my weekends back???

Graduation!

All done with foster training! Yeah! Lots of good stuff but I'm ready to not spend my weekends in a classroom!

My roommate found another apartment and is moving out at the end of the month! Yeah!! She's moving to a senior complex (everyone is 55 or older) and she's very happy to be around people her own age. I'm very happy too! Now that I know she's moving I'm even more annoyed about things like the stupid cat getting cat hair on my ironing board. 9 days and then I'm on my own!

So now I'm looking in earnest for all the stuff I need for kids and finishing up my requirement. First Aid training in Feb, need to do a TB test, need to get a fire extinguisher, need to get locking containers for all the medicine, need beds, etc, etc.

Thank you everyone for the comments and encouragements.

Blowing Steam

I saw my home town on CNN! Turns out the local volcano, Mt. Augustine, is going through a series of erruptions. The volcano is an island in Kachemak Bay and I used to be able to see it from my bedroom window - it was quite a view.

The volcano last errupted 20 years ago. I remember because we had horses and I had to keep emptying their water trough because so much ash fell.

Deadline

So I told my roommate that I'm terminating our rent agreement because I will be using the bedroom for foster care.

She was shocked. We talked a bit more. Her wide eyes started going back to normal. Then she switched tactics.

She proceeded to basically try and discourage me and talk me out of my decision to do foster care for the next 15 minutes.

Now I realize she doesn't like change and this was probably her way of trying to get me to change my mind. "It will be really difficult. Do you realize this is a 24-7 job? You'll have to put locks on all the doors. What are you going to do if this doesn't work out? Are you still going to work? What about your business? This isn't going to be the good thing you think it is."

Grrrr. I basically told her that I want to try, I may fail and I may fail spectacularly but I must try! And I'm not planning to fail (so no, don't think I'll ask you back to be my roommate again). I plan on succeeding.

Some general whining here - I have heard over and over how hard these kids are, how difficult this will be etc. I know I'm probably a naive, but I'm not stupid. I'm preparing as best I can. How does any parent prepare for the impact a child will have on their lives?

And yes, I'm starting as a parent with really difficult kids. But who else is going to give a traumatized child a place of shelter? These kids have been damaged but I have the opportunity to try and help them. I appreciate people wanting to make sure I'm ready and prepared and that my naivete does not further damage the child, but why not also say "thanks for taking one of our communities children" or "I'm glad you'll be there for the child" or just "good luck" or better still "good luck and call me if you need to talk or need advise"?!?

Sorry - just had to get that out of my system! =-)

Fascinating

So I'm going to a 1-day training seminar tomorrow.

The topic? Document Retention and Destruction in the Age of Electronic Documents (How document retention impacts litigation and business in the computer age).

So am I the only one who would find such a seminar interesting?

I'm actually really looking forward to it! How weird am I? =-)

Cupid Next to Me

So I go to the foster care training and take a seat at a table. Another lady sits next to me. Turns out she's a former social worker. She and her husband have a daughter and are interested in doing respite/foster care. She's taking the training while hubby is at home. Nice gal - I like her.

So class starts and everyone (twelve others), introduce themselves. Everyone is married except myself and another guy. He is looking to do foster care for teens.

My classmate leans over and starts talking about getting him and me together. WTF?!??!?? She doesn't know me, doesn't know him but is playing match-maker. Whoa.

So my classmate, me and another gal go to lunch. Nice conversation. My turn to "reveal". I give my standard 5 line story, (married, divorced, not looking) and my classmate does the "ohhh" thing and the "so you're not ready thing". I'm relieved.

Until we get back to the class room where she informs me her goal is to find out this guy's age, occupation and sexual orientation before training ends.

Geesh! I can only shake my head in amusement.

Training

So I started my 30 hour foster care training class this weekend so I'm sure the next few weeks will be full of my musings around the foster care system. I won't take offense if your eyes glaze over. =-)

Did you know that the first legal action (and beginnings of Child Protective Services) for child abuse was given to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals because it was determined that the lady treated her dogs better that she did her foster daughter? Ugh! Things aren't perfect but they've come a long way!

Many ideas of foster care include children revolving through 10-20-30 different placements, basically growing up in foster care, continued abuse etc. Since the passage of the Adoption and Safe Families Act of 1997, there are new timelines and "thinking" that have changed all that.

As a foster parent I can expect a home visit from the social worker every 30 days. The court hearing for a child to be placed in foster care must be within 72 hours of the child being removed from the home and the "fact finding" hearing must be withing 75 days. Then there's a hearing at 6 months and a Permancy Planning Hearing at 12 months with another court hearing every 6 months until the child is permanently placed (reunification, kinship care, adoption, guardianship, long-term foster care).

There is much more emphasis on "permanancy" and finding the right long-term, stable, nurturing situation for the child. This is even extending to adoption services to make sure the adoption "sticks".

Have you ever heard of a disrupted adoption? (I'm talking state adoptions here, not private adoption.) The foster child becomes legally free to be adopted. The child is placed with an adoptive family. 6 months later the adoption is final. Now the new family has 18 months to send the child back if they want...and if they do that is a disrupted adoption. Can you imagine being the kid in that situation?

New Year

Two mantra's for the new year -

It all counts -
- every minute
- every dollar
- every calorie

The benefit is worth the struggle.

Coming Up Roses

Talked to the lawyer again today. Looks like everything is going to be ok!

There is some little known section of the law that allows us to do exactly what we're doing. And we may have some unknown agreements in place that further reinforce the companies position.

This is apparently a really unknown section of the law if three lawyers didn't know about it! And I really think there should be a binder in HR with these "unknown" agreements in it so the HR Manager knows how to manage!

The final verdict is still to come but it looks like things are going to be ok and I'm not going to be in the dog house! Yeah!

Thank you everyone for your concern. I really appreciated the support! I'm very glad this was a short-lived crisis!

Blond Joke

Since I'm a blond, I couldn't resist this blond joke...

The Roommate

(Left on the message board at home)

I had to be to work at noon. I last let the dogs out at 11:30am. They all had a BM. See you around 5:30.


My Commentary

I had to be to work at noon. (ok - nice to know but not necessary. Ever since she said I was like a daughter we've been working on the I'm-not-responsible-to-report-to-you and You're-not-responsible-to-report-to-me thing.)

I last let the dogs out at 11:30am. (Sort of a given but ok)

They all had a BM. (Why? Why do I need to know this? I do not keep a diary of my dog's pooping schedule so why would it be so important to tell me this??)

See you around 5:30. (This is good to know. But also proves my point. The most the dogs would have been kenneled is 5.5 hours. That's it. I did not need to know about the potty time. I always let them out when I get home just like she always lets them out when she gets home.)


The Bitchy Version

Kate - got called in to my *)$# job. Dogs all took a good shit before I left. I'll be home after the casino run (if I feel like it). Hugs and kisses, The Roommate

A Good Day

Some of you will just shake your head at this but... I actually awoke in a great mood today and I think the reason is because I get to go back to work tomorrow.

Weird, I know. Don't get me wrong. Days off are very nice. But I have found that I do much better with a schedule and things to do. Without the structure of the office day, I find it way too easy to get morose and blue.

Since I have my own business, there are always things to do. But I seem to just lanquish without any sort of structure to my day. Yes, I could create structure but no, I've definately not been too successful with that self-discipline stuff.

So I'm up and moving today, feeling good and looking forward to my job and my clients the rest of the week.

'Course I may feel differently when I hear my alarm at 5:45am...

Retro

Ever since Valette posted about the Mayfly Project, I've taken to the concept. So here's my attempt to summarize 2005 in 24 words.

New Job! Breathe easier!
New business lacks business.
Summer of love - with kids.
Life coaching - refocus.
Foster parent prepare.
First business anniversary - doing better!

Pictures of Marriage

So I "found" the boxes of photo albums when dug out the Christmas deco. I emailed my former husband and asked if he wanted some of the photos. He said yes.

So now that it's time to put the Christmas deco away, I got out the photo boxes. I just spent a couple hours going through 14 years of photo memories and pulling out ones for him to keep.

I was all prepared for this to be another "processing and moving on" moment. I had the kleenex box at hand, music playing, chapstick at the ready.

Not a single tear. Some regrets and a few laughs but that was it. Am I stone? Or is this just me? I'm thinking it's just me and I'm liking it even if I'm not quite sure of myself.

The process was both easier and harder than I thought. Every solo picture of him - in the box. Any picture of Melissa, even if I'm in it, - in the box. Pictures of the two of us - not unless a really important event. Wedding picts went in - didn't quite know how to handle those. None of the sappy cards we used to exchange. None of the love notes. I kind of tried to pick stuff I thought Curt (his SO) would want to see (or laugh at).

Harder were pictures of events and scenery. Do you want the college BBQ picture? (in the box) How about flora from our carribean cruises (not so much). Do you want a picture of the two of us if thats the only pictoral representation of the event - like the cruises? (some yes, some no).

Worse were pictures of his family. At first I put all the pictures of his family - parents, siblings, spouses, nieces - in his box. But then I started realizing I really like these people and I want to keep some. That was the hardest. Does he get that years school pictures of the nieces? How about the annual Thanksgiving/Christmas card family photo. (I did put all the pictures of his grandparents in the box. heh, heh).

Well, for better or worse it's done (what a choice of phrases!). I hope he knows this was all done with the best of intentions and doesn't judge my selections to harshly.

I have Questions

Do puppies wet the bed?

This is a serious question. 'Cause when I awoke at 0-dark-thirty this morning, I couldn't decide if I was disturbed from slumber because Seby was stubbornly positioned between my ankles and refused to move even though I wanted to turn over and needed leg room or because I thought the sheets felt funny/cold.

I eventually got up to investigate. Did Seby sweat through the sheets? Is he ok? Can a little dog even sweat enough to make a small circle much less a very large and very wet circle?

Did my dog pee on my bed and then curl up and go to sleep right on top of it? Ewww! Why?! Why is he not acting guilty?? Why is he sleeping on the spot?? Why do I have to be putting my nose to my sheets at 0-dark-thirty in the morning?????

And how does one sleep through a dog standing at your feet and whizzing on your sheets?

and the next day...

So I talked to my boss today about The Issue.

I should pause here to say I really like my boss and he's a very good guy to work with.

During the conversation he was very low key. He kept asking why the issue came up, why it's never come up before, and why did the issue come up. I don't think he was really thrilled that the only reason the issue came up is because his persistent HR person made the issue come up... oh well.

Funny thing is, in my initial interview, he asked me what I would do if I found unethical behavior at the company. I responded that I would bring the issue and possible resolutions to his attention.

During our conversation today, I reminded my boss of this question. His response was that The Issue was not an ethical one - it's a legal one. My verbal response was that if I didn't bring the issue up, then it would be an ethical issue for me personally. And inwardly I'm thinking if the company keeps being told its doing something wrong, and chooses not to change then it is an ethical issue!

Anyway, my boss does not yet see the seriousness of the issue or the legal/financial ramifications. Then again, I've had months to think this through and I just told him today.

He is hoping the lawyers will yet tell us we're working with a loophole. That would be nice.

So here's hoping we get good news from the lawyers some time next week. Thank you all for your comments and support.

Dilemma

So - did you ever have an ethical dilemma at work?

Yeah - I'm in the middle of one. I'm doing the ethical thing and will be telling my boss of the situation and my recommendation (he's on vacation until Tuesday). Problem is there is No Way the resolution of this issue won't cost the company money. This issue has the potential for becoming one of those things-to-never-do cases you read about in HR textbooks.

Worst case scenario for me? I could lose my job.

At the least, I think I will quickly become A Very Unpopular Person.

Best case scenario? My boss shakes my hand, looks me in the eye and thanks me for bringing this issue to the companies attention and then we work side by side to deal with the fall-out.

Here's hoping.

Savage Chickens

Coping with joy....


(Thanks to Heidi for turning me on to this site.)

Loot

OK - admit it - we all love getting gifts. Even us adults. Our gifts just cost proportionately more (ie "big boy's toys...") or proportionately less (a child's drawing) than the gifts to the short people (ie kids) among us.

So what was your best piece of loot?

I have two. My parents gave me an Oral B electric toothbrush. Very adult, very cool. And I received several gift cards that will help me get my new foster kids room set up. Very, very cool.

And you?

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Peace to our hearts, our families, our communities, our nation and our world.

Self Portrait

Tessa - Self Portrait

Young Artist

"Glory"

by Tessa, age 10

Chronicals of Narnia

I just went and saw The Chronicals of Narnia - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

Amazing! Fabulous! Thrilling, entertaining and fantastic!

I encourage all my reader's to go see this movie!


I've loved the Chronicals for a long time and have read the series multiple times. While not exactly like the book, this movie made me feel like I felt when I read the book. So much matched my imagination and, better yet, the movie actually filled in some fuzzy imagination pictures. I may just go see it again!

I'm blushing

It's Tuesday night. I settle into bed and begin to read.

Suddenly, I can't breathe - there's a weight on my chest - I have a huge knot of fear in my stomach... I left the candle burning in my office at work!

I turn over and partially sit up to try and catch my breath - I really was having a hard time breathing. And the rationalization starts...

"I didn't leave the candle burning - that would be stupid! I can't call 'cause then I'd really look stupid! I always blow out the candle. Did I blow out the candle? New candle - gift from a co-worker...did I blow it out???"

So I sit on my bed for what felt like eons trying to calm myself down. "This is just a panic attack. It's not real. You know how to deal with this." "OMG - what if the office is burning right now!!" "I remember the candle going out... but then I relit it...so do I remember the candle going out or actually blowing it out?"

Lately I've been working on listening to myself and learning to trust my thoughts, intuitions, etc. Somehow I seem to have lost this skill. So as I am panicing, I'm also thinking "listen to yourself; trust yourself; if you're reacting this strongly it's probably with good reason."

So what's a girl to do? She calls her mother, of course!

Mom was all for calling to get someone to check on the situation. She even offered to drive the 30 minutes to go check with me. And since I work in HR, I have the only key to my office except my boss, the President of the Company. Not going to call him to go check the stupid candle!!!

So I decide to call a plant supervisor who lives just a couple blocks away. He's very gracious and gives me the after hours number and tells me to call back if I need him to go to the plant (again, won't work 'cause of the door lock...).

I call the shift leader. He laughs good naturedly and says he'll check and get back to me. In the meantime my hyper-sensitive fear of getting into trouble is running rampant. Is my boss going to hear? Will I get in trouble? Will the Plant Manager hear and make an issue? In the close-knit group of the production employees, will everyone eventually hear and I'll be teased mercilessly? Teasing isn't too bad - getting yelled at is horrid.

So the shift leader calls back and says he was busy so he sent another employee (Supervisor, leader and employee all know - Good Grief!). Couldn't see any candle through the window into my office. Everything looks ok. Whew!

I call my mom and relay the news and freak out about getting into trouble. She reassures me. After all, what boss wouldn't be pleased that the employee risked discipline to keep the business safe? Good point Mom.

I finally lay back down. I can breathe but the tension in my stomach is only somewhat subdued. No burning - yeah! Potential trouble - boo!

This definately rates up there as one of the most embarrasing moments I've ever had at work. And for the curious neither my boss nor the plant manager have said anything which I hope means they didn't hear anything. The shift leader did see me the next day and gave me some gentle ribbing. But then he also told me a personal story about having to leave work to check and see if he closed a cattle gate. That was sweet of him.

So moral of the story?
* Rethink the whole candle at work thing
* Do listen to yourself. But yourself is still in training and obviously falliable.
* This probably wasn't as big a deal to everyone else as it was to me in the middle of a panic attack!

Updating the Update

I got the key out!!!!!

'Course I don't know if the key will come out after I drive to work tomorrow...

But for tonight the thieves will have to resort to hot-wiring! =-)

Update

Key's still stuck. Mechanic can't get me in until Tuesday. Has no idea how much it will cost until they look at it. Car still sits locked at night with the key in the ignition. I have a slight panic attack each morning that the car will no longer be there.

Science Rocks

Twinkle, twinkle little star
You're a ball of gas that's very far.

32 light years in the sky,
10 parsecs which is really high!

Helium, carbon and hy-dro-gen
fuse to make our starry friend.

When it enters supernova stage
It explodes with bursts of rays.

And if the star's mass is big and bold
It will become a big black hole!


I keep hearing this commercial on the radio and I think it's great! I've got more in my brain about stars after this little ditty than from Jr. High science!

This is part of the Girls-Go-Tech campaign to encourage girls in math and science.

Studies show that by age 12, most girls lose interest in math, science and
technology and their chance at most future jobs. Girls Go Tech is an initiative
to encourage girls to develop an early interest in these subjects and,
ultimately, maintain that interest as they grow up to help ensure a more
diverse, dynamic, and productive workforce in the future.

When I was in late elementary/Jr. High, I found my grade school report cards. I remember being very pleased with myself as I noted my great grades. Then I got to third grade and the teacher remarked I wasn't doing well in math. I don't remember exactly what the comment was, but it made enough of an impression that I believed myself to be a lower performing math/science person. And that stuck with me all the way through college.

Any encouragement for girls to delve into math and science at all ages is a very good thing.

There are more tv/radio commercials on the site.

Bleep, bleep, bada-bleep

My *!$?* car key is stuck in the ignition of my car...since last night.

Numerous inquiries to the male species at work and a visit from a friendly mechanic co-worker have all resulted in the same conclusion/advise: the key's really stuck in there and you need to take it to a shop so they can uncover, pull, prod, release, drop out, poke, pry and otherwise get me back my key.

Which all sounds very expensive to me.

Grrrrrr.

Ho hum humdrum

So I was thinkin' about what to post and realized - not much!

The week's been, well, a week. Went to work, got some stuff done. Had several organization appointments. Yeah!

We had a nasty freezing rain on Thursday. I actually fishtailed once or twice. Funny thing was, that actually made me feel a bit nostalgic for AK! =-)

Well, a happy weekend to you all!

Exchange

I got to exchange my gift card from the company party with one that I can really use! $100 to Fred Meyer!! and it's all going to be used to get the bedroom set up for foster care...

Unflattering

I'm in a pissy mood. I don't like feeling this way so I'm trying to figure out why I feel like lashing out at everyone...

... is it because Stephanie didn't win Survivor?

... because my roommate did another, little, stupid thing that shouldn't annoy me but does?

... maybe because I helped plan a great company party but I always feel a huge let down afterwards even though the party was a success?

... is it because I bought $100 gift certificates for everyone at the party but didn't get the one I wanted?

I am such a small person.....



And all that in spite of some really good things...

... very productive weekend - got lots done

... finally finished my foster care license application and turned it in

... think I've found a way to survive without my roommate so that means I could use that room for the foster kids - all in all, a very happy thought!

... I got lots and lots of positive compliments on the work Christmas party table decorations, gift certificate selection and such.

... I'm getting a brand-new, never been used, washer and dryer for practically nothing!


OK - maybe I'm feeling a bit better. Venting my spleen to my sweet blog audience seems to be good for me...

Thanks guys!

Cuteness

They are sooo cute and such a handful! My nieces Rori and Cadee...

Service

My brother is in the Navy and recently returned from a long stint at sea. This picture of his reunion with his daughters brought tears to my eyes...

Big Pay - Big Bonus

So if fast food is your career of choice, you really should move to New Orleans. Burger King is offering a $6,000 (!) hiring bonus. Regular readers will note I recently received a bonus but it was definately not $6,000. Maybe I should move...

... competition is fierce for entry-level employees. Whereas, on average, a receptionist usually made about $6 to $8 per hour, hourly wages have increased to $8 to $11. “You just can’t find people who will work for $6 per hour anymore,” ... Burger King’s $6,000 hiring bonus has been the talk of the town... “They come in for interviews and tell us they can’t work for less than $12 an hour or that such-and-such company is offering more, and will we match it? ...Popeyes Chicken & Biscuits raised its hourly rate across the board by $3...

Full article here.

Not Quite There Yet

Turns out, there are things even I still need to learn.

Take for example, when a 24oz glass jar of Fire Roasted Tomato and Garlic sauce rips out of the bag and plunges with a sickening, soft, sloppy crash to the parking lot pavement. Does one clean up the mess or let it go since the mess is in the common-no-man's-land parking lot? Do you let it freeze and hope no one notices? Are twinges of guilt thinking that an animal could get sick eating 24oz of Fire Roasted Tomato and Garlic sauce appropriate?

And if one attempted to clean up this type of mess with an empty Wendy's soda cup and bag, would that be considered ingenious or pathetic? And is it appropriate to be hungry for Italian and French Fries after such an experience? And does Fred Meyer owe the ill-fated shopper a new jar of spaghetti sauce since it was their bag that failed?

And mostly, I don't know, in this hypothetical type of situation, if the smartest thing to do would be to move the car at least two spaces down.

All over again

Do you ever get deja vu?

I have a recurring deja vu experience (which is, I realize, redundant). I'm sitting at my desk at work and I have the stongest desire to watch the Witchblade series intro. For those who missed it, this was a kick-ass, awesome, short-lived series about a female cop who "inherits" a bracelet that turns into a sword (or other deadly weapon) in times of need. I loved Yancy Butler at Sara Pezzini - tough, sexy, bitchin' female heros are hard to come by!

Anyway, here I am doing paperwork and again that funny feeling - time to pull out the VHS and watch the intro episode. Of course, such thoughts are completely gone as soon as I switch tasks and definately gone once I get home.

I have no idea what is triggering this sort of deja vu, memory, day-dream, want-to-watch type experience. Very weird. I'll have to see if I can pin point the trigger.

Rabbit, Rabbit

So I was over visiting TLP and everyone and their brother was rabbit, rabbit-ing. I didn't get this bunny love fest though I think I remember Valette mentioning the rabbit, rabbit thing on her blog at one point...

Anyway, Wikipedia to the rescue!

"Rabbit rabbit" is a common superstition, held particularly among children. The most common modern version states that a person should say "rabbit, rabbit" upon waking on the first day of each new month, and on doing so will receive good luck for the remainder of that month.

So to all my child-like friends, Rabbit rabbit!