Saturday, July 01, 2006

First Illness

102.8. Damn that's hot!

Guess that kids tend to get temps but this new mommy was concerned. Everytime I took that kid's temp yesterday it was up another 1/2 a degree.

If I had known her longer I probably would have just kept her home, but since she's new I took her to Immediate Care (three hours later I was definately thinking they should change their name!!!). The NP thought it was a virus and possibly migraines.

So by 9pm last night her fever was down to 98.6 and she was normal this morning. This evening she was back up to 101.3 and complaining of a hoarse throat.

Of course this is all complicated by the fact she's in respite for 4 days because I have a business booth at a 4 day trade show over the weekend. She didn't want to go to respite (even though she knew the kids from another foster home). Poor baby, I know she was worried and a bit freaked she was moving again even though I reassured her she wasn't. I think it began to sink in when I said she was just VISITING this family and still LIVING with me.

So I made her go to care even with a sore throat. After all, we know she is a bit of a drama queen. And this trade show is really important to me to generate some much needed business.

I feel I'm walking such a fine line here. On the one hand, I know she can be manipulative and she blows any little boo-boo way out of proportion in an attention seeking bid. On the other hand, she has really good reason to be insecure and 1 week is hardly enough time to know the Mommy is trustworthy and really will come back and get you. I am her 4th placement after all.

Anyway, the respite giver and I talked several times today trying to help AV feel secure but also stay at the respite home. At 7:30 the caregiver called me and said her temp was up to 101. That was it. I closed my booth (the show was dead, dead, dead anyhow) and went and picked up my child. Faking a sore throat is one thing but how could she fake a fever? We cuddled on the couch while she drank gatorade and watched TV.

Maybe I'm indulging my heart too much. How do you balance a foster child's emotional needs with appropriate behaviors?

I still have no idea what I'm going to do tomorrow. If she's sick she can't go to care. If she's not sick... I'm tempted just to bring her to the trade show for a few hours. She'll see what I'm doing and get really bored and hopefully want to go back to the respite care home.


Kiana said...

Gosh I feel so bad for her. Parents gone and 4 homes later; as an 8 yr old. I cannot even imagine being in her shoes or what might go through her head in a day. This is such a great thing for you to be doing and she's so lucky to have landed such a great foster mom. I think one of your best qualities is making people feel right at home. I'll be praying for both of you.

Anonymous said...

Wecome to the difficult job of finding balance! It is hard thing Dana and that doesn't get any easier. Sorry, but it is truth. It is going to take a lot of time to understand that you won't leave her. Poor child she doesn't know what it is like to have a parent that will be there for her no matter what. I don't think I would feel bad about reasurring her too much. You need to get you stuff done, but when the day is over I think cuddling her was a good thing. (Have you read the 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Smalley?) She will figure it out in time, but it will take some time. She is so lucky to have you. I'll be praying for you both.

Anonymous said...

I hit the wrong button and I cannot figue out how to go back and add my name.


Klondike Kate said...

Thanks Kiana. I think she's a pretty special little girl.

Thank you Jenn. Good to hear from another busy mom! I did read the book. She's definately a Physical Touch child. Kiddo is still sick tonight though she did stay overnight in respite care. I think we're back and the doctors tomorrow...

Tan Lucy Pez said...

*Sigh* This is what single moms everywhere go through all the time. You have the added problem of having your girl for such a short time that, as you point out, she can't know that you are "for real" yet.

Go with your heart. You will not regret it.

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