Friday, December 30, 2005

Pictures of Marriage

So I "found" the boxes of photo albums when dug out the Christmas deco. I emailed my former husband and asked if he wanted some of the photos. He said yes.

So now that it's time to put the Christmas deco away, I got out the photo boxes. I just spent a couple hours going through 14 years of photo memories and pulling out ones for him to keep.

I was all prepared for this to be another "processing and moving on" moment. I had the kleenex box at hand, music playing, chapstick at the ready.

Not a single tear. Some regrets and a few laughs but that was it. Am I stone? Or is this just me? I'm thinking it's just me and I'm liking it even if I'm not quite sure of myself.

The process was both easier and harder than I thought. Every solo picture of him - in the box. Any picture of Melissa, even if I'm in it, - in the box. Pictures of the two of us - not unless a really important event. Wedding picts went in - didn't quite know how to handle those. None of the sappy cards we used to exchange. None of the love notes. I kind of tried to pick stuff I thought Curt (his SO) would want to see (or laugh at).

Harder were pictures of events and scenery. Do you want the college BBQ picture? (in the box) How about flora from our carribean cruises (not so much). Do you want a picture of the two of us if thats the only pictoral representation of the event - like the cruises? (some yes, some no).

Worse were pictures of his family. At first I put all the pictures of his family - parents, siblings, spouses, nieces - in his box. But then I started realizing I really like these people and I want to keep some. That was the hardest. Does he get that years school pictures of the nieces? How about the annual Thanksgiving/Christmas card family photo. (I did put all the pictures of his grandparents in the box. heh, heh).

Well, for better or worse it's done (what a choice of phrases!). I hope he knows this was all done with the best of intentions and doesn't judge my selections to harshly.

I have Questions

Do puppies wet the bed?

This is a serious question. 'Cause when I awoke at 0-dark-thirty this morning, I couldn't decide if I was disturbed from slumber because Seby was stubbornly positioned between my ankles and refused to move even though I wanted to turn over and needed leg room or because I thought the sheets felt funny/cold.

I eventually got up to investigate. Did Seby sweat through the sheets? Is he ok? Can a little dog even sweat enough to make a small circle much less a very large and very wet circle?

Did my dog pee on my bed and then curl up and go to sleep right on top of it? Ewww! Why?! Why is he not acting guilty?? Why is he sleeping on the spot?? Why do I have to be putting my nose to my sheets at 0-dark-thirty in the morning?????

And how does one sleep through a dog standing at your feet and whizzing on your sheets?

Thursday, December 29, 2005

and the next day...

So I talked to my boss today about The Issue.

I should pause here to say I really like my boss and he's a very good guy to work with.

During the conversation he was very low key. He kept asking why the issue came up, why it's never come up before, and why did the issue come up. I don't think he was really thrilled that the only reason the issue came up is because his persistent HR person made the issue come up... oh well.

Funny thing is, in my initial interview, he asked me what I would do if I found unethical behavior at the company. I responded that I would bring the issue and possible resolutions to his attention.

During our conversation today, I reminded my boss of this question. His response was that The Issue was not an ethical one - it's a legal one. My verbal response was that if I didn't bring the issue up, then it would be an ethical issue for me personally. And inwardly I'm thinking if the company keeps being told its doing something wrong, and chooses not to change then it is an ethical issue!

Anyway, my boss does not yet see the seriousness of the issue or the legal/financial ramifications. Then again, I've had months to think this through and I just told him today.

He is hoping the lawyers will yet tell us we're working with a loophole. That would be nice.

So here's hoping we get good news from the lawyers some time next week. Thank you all for your comments and support.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005


So - did you ever have an ethical dilemma at work?

Yeah - I'm in the middle of one. I'm doing the ethical thing and will be telling my boss of the situation and my recommendation (he's on vacation until Tuesday). Problem is there is No Way the resolution of this issue won't cost the company money. This issue has the potential for becoming one of those things-to-never-do cases you read about in HR textbooks.

Worst case scenario for me? I could lose my job.

At the least, I think I will quickly become A Very Unpopular Person.

Best case scenario? My boss shakes my hand, looks me in the eye and thanks me for bringing this issue to the companies attention and then we work side by side to deal with the fall-out.

Here's hoping.

Savage Chickens

Coping with joy....

(Thanks to Heidi for turning me on to this site.)

Monday, December 26, 2005


OK - admit it - we all love getting gifts. Even us adults. Our gifts just cost proportionately more (ie "big boy's toys...") or proportionately less (a child's drawing) than the gifts to the short people (ie kids) among us.

So what was your best piece of loot?

I have two. My parents gave me an Oral B electric toothbrush. Very adult, very cool. And I received several gift cards that will help me get my new foster kids room set up. Very, very cool.

And you?

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Peace to our hearts, our families, our communities, our nation and our world.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Self Portrait

Tessa - Self Portrait

Friday, December 23, 2005

Young Artist


by Tessa, age 10

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Chronicals of Narnia

I just went and saw The Chronicals of Narnia - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

Amazing! Fabulous! Thrilling, entertaining and fantastic!

I encourage all my reader's to go see this movie!

I've loved the Chronicals for a long time and have read the series multiple times. While not exactly like the book, this movie made me feel like I felt when I read the book. So much matched my imagination and, better yet, the movie actually filled in some fuzzy imagination pictures. I may just go see it again!

I'm blushing

It's Tuesday night. I settle into bed and begin to read.

Suddenly, I can't breathe - there's a weight on my chest - I have a huge knot of fear in my stomach... I left the candle burning in my office at work!

I turn over and partially sit up to try and catch my breath - I really was having a hard time breathing. And the rationalization starts...

"I didn't leave the candle burning - that would be stupid! I can't call 'cause then I'd really look stupid! I always blow out the candle. Did I blow out the candle? New candle - gift from a co-worker...did I blow it out???"

So I sit on my bed for what felt like eons trying to calm myself down. "This is just a panic attack. It's not real. You know how to deal with this." "OMG - what if the office is burning right now!!" "I remember the candle going out... but then I relit do I remember the candle going out or actually blowing it out?"

Lately I've been working on listening to myself and learning to trust my thoughts, intuitions, etc. Somehow I seem to have lost this skill. So as I am panicing, I'm also thinking "listen to yourself; trust yourself; if you're reacting this strongly it's probably with good reason."

So what's a girl to do? She calls her mother, of course!

Mom was all for calling to get someone to check on the situation. She even offered to drive the 30 minutes to go check with me. And since I work in HR, I have the only key to my office except my boss, the President of the Company. Not going to call him to go check the stupid candle!!!

So I decide to call a plant supervisor who lives just a couple blocks away. He's very gracious and gives me the after hours number and tells me to call back if I need him to go to the plant (again, won't work 'cause of the door lock...).

I call the shift leader. He laughs good naturedly and says he'll check and get back to me. In the meantime my hyper-sensitive fear of getting into trouble is running rampant. Is my boss going to hear? Will I get in trouble? Will the Plant Manager hear and make an issue? In the close-knit group of the production employees, will everyone eventually hear and I'll be teased mercilessly? Teasing isn't too bad - getting yelled at is horrid.

So the shift leader calls back and says he was busy so he sent another employee (Supervisor, leader and employee all know - Good Grief!). Couldn't see any candle through the window into my office. Everything looks ok. Whew!

I call my mom and relay the news and freak out about getting into trouble. She reassures me. After all, what boss wouldn't be pleased that the employee risked discipline to keep the business safe? Good point Mom.

I finally lay back down. I can breathe but the tension in my stomach is only somewhat subdued. No burning - yeah! Potential trouble - boo!

This definately rates up there as one of the most embarrasing moments I've ever had at work. And for the curious neither my boss nor the plant manager have said anything which I hope means they didn't hear anything. The shift leader did see me the next day and gave me some gentle ribbing. But then he also told me a personal story about having to leave work to check and see if he closed a cattle gate. That was sweet of him.

So moral of the story?
* Rethink the whole candle at work thing
* Do listen to yourself. But yourself is still in training and obviously falliable.
* This probably wasn't as big a deal to everyone else as it was to me in the middle of a panic attack!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Updating the Update

I got the key out!!!!!

'Course I don't know if the key will come out after I drive to work tomorrow...

But for tonight the thieves will have to resort to hot-wiring! =-)


Key's still stuck. Mechanic can't get me in until Tuesday. Has no idea how much it will cost until they look at it. Car still sits locked at night with the key in the ignition. I have a slight panic attack each morning that the car will no longer be there.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Science Rocks

Twinkle, twinkle little star
You're a ball of gas that's very far.

32 light years in the sky,
10 parsecs which is really high!

Helium, carbon and hy-dro-gen
fuse to make our starry friend.

When it enters supernova stage
It explodes with bursts of rays.

And if the star's mass is big and bold
It will become a big black hole!

I keep hearing this commercial on the radio and I think it's great! I've got more in my brain about stars after this little ditty than from Jr. High science!

This is part of the Girls-Go-Tech campaign to encourage girls in math and science.
Studies show that by age 12, most girls lose interest in math, science and
technology and their chance at most future jobs. Girls Go Tech is an initiative
to encourage girls to develop an early interest in these subjects and,
ultimately, maintain that interest as they grow up to help ensure a more
diverse, dynamic, and productive workforce in the future.

When I was in late elementary/Jr. High, I found my grade school report cards. I remember being very pleased with myself as I noted my great grades. Then I got to third grade and the teacher remarked I wasn't doing well in math. I don't remember exactly what the comment was, but it made enough of an impression that I believed myself to be a lower performing math/science person. And that stuck with me all the way through college.

Any encouragement for girls to delve into math and science at all ages is a very good thing.

There are more tv/radio commercials on the site.

Bleep, bleep, bada-bleep

My *!$?* car key is stuck in the ignition of my car...since last night.

Numerous inquiries to the male species at work and a visit from a friendly mechanic co-worker have all resulted in the same conclusion/advise: the key's really stuck in there and you need to take it to a shop so they can uncover, pull, prod, release, drop out, poke, pry and otherwise get me back my key.

Which all sounds very expensive to me.


Sunday, December 18, 2005

Ho hum humdrum

So I was thinkin' about what to post and realized - not much!

The week's been, well, a week. Went to work, got some stuff done. Had several organization appointments. Yeah!

We had a nasty freezing rain on Thursday. I actually fishtailed once or twice. Funny thing was, that actually made me feel a bit nostalgic for AK! =-)

Well, a happy weekend to you all!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005


I got to exchange my gift card from the company party with one that I can really use! $100 to Fred Meyer!! and it's all going to be used to get the bedroom set up for foster care...

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


I'm in a pissy mood. I don't like feeling this way so I'm trying to figure out why I feel like lashing out at everyone...

... is it because Stephanie didn't win Survivor?

... because my roommate did another, little, stupid thing that shouldn't annoy me but does?

... maybe because I helped plan a great company party but I always feel a huge let down afterwards even though the party was a success?

... is it because I bought $100 gift certificates for everyone at the party but didn't get the one I wanted?

I am such a small person.....

And all that in spite of some really good things...

... very productive weekend - got lots done

... finally finished my foster care license application and turned it in

... think I've found a way to survive without my roommate so that means I could use that room for the foster kids - all in all, a very happy thought!

... I got lots and lots of positive compliments on the work Christmas party table decorations, gift certificate selection and such.

... I'm getting a brand-new, never been used, washer and dryer for practically nothing!

OK - maybe I'm feeling a bit better. Venting my spleen to my sweet blog audience seems to be good for me...

Thanks guys!

Sunday, December 11, 2005


They are sooo cute and such a handful! My nieces Rori and Cadee...


My brother is in the Navy and recently returned from a long stint at sea. This picture of his reunion with his daughters brought tears to my eyes...

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Big Pay - Big Bonus

So if fast food is your career of choice, you really should move to New Orleans. Burger King is offering a $6,000 (!) hiring bonus. Regular readers will note I recently received a bonus but it was definately not $6,000. Maybe I should move...

... competition is fierce for entry-level employees. Whereas, on average, a receptionist usually made about $6 to $8 per hour, hourly wages have increased to $8 to $11. “You just can’t find people who will work for $6 per hour anymore,” ... Burger King’s $6,000 hiring bonus has been the talk of the town... “They come in for interviews and tell us they can’t work for less than $12 an hour or that such-and-such company is offering more, and will we match it? ...Popeyes Chicken & Biscuits raised its hourly rate across the board by $3...

Full article here.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Not Quite There Yet

Turns out, there are things even I still need to learn.

Take for example, when a 24oz glass jar of Fire Roasted Tomato and Garlic sauce rips out of the bag and plunges with a sickening, soft, sloppy crash to the parking lot pavement. Does one clean up the mess or let it go since the mess is in the common-no-man's-land parking lot? Do you let it freeze and hope no one notices? Are twinges of guilt thinking that an animal could get sick eating 24oz of Fire Roasted Tomato and Garlic sauce appropriate?

And if one attempted to clean up this type of mess with an empty Wendy's soda cup and bag, would that be considered ingenious or pathetic? And is it appropriate to be hungry for Italian and French Fries after such an experience? And does Fred Meyer owe the ill-fated shopper a new jar of spaghetti sauce since it was their bag that failed?

And mostly, I don't know, in this hypothetical type of situation, if the smartest thing to do would be to move the car at least two spaces down.

All over again

Do you ever get deja vu?

I have a recurring deja vu experience (which is, I realize, redundant). I'm sitting at my desk at work and I have the stongest desire to watch the Witchblade series intro. For those who missed it, this was a kick-ass, awesome, short-lived series about a female cop who "inherits" a bracelet that turns into a sword (or other deadly weapon) in times of need. I loved Yancy Butler at Sara Pezzini - tough, sexy, bitchin' female heros are hard to come by!

Anyway, here I am doing paperwork and again that funny feeling - time to pull out the VHS and watch the intro episode. Of course, such thoughts are completely gone as soon as I switch tasks and definately gone once I get home.

I have no idea what is triggering this sort of deja vu, memory, day-dream, want-to-watch type experience. Very weird. I'll have to see if I can pin point the trigger.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Rabbit, Rabbit

So I was over visiting TLP and everyone and their brother was rabbit, rabbit-ing. I didn't get this bunny love fest though I think I remember Valette mentioning the rabbit, rabbit thing on her blog at one point...

Anyway, Wikipedia to the rescue!
"Rabbit rabbit" is a common superstition, held particularly among children. The most common modern version states that a person should say "rabbit, rabbit" upon waking on the first day of each new month, and on doing so will receive good luck for the remainder of that month.
So to all my child-like friends, Rabbit rabbit!

Real Winter

To all my Alaskan friends,

To you, this picture is no big deal. To those who live in the desert, snow is a really big deal. Two inches is a big enough deal the create panicked conversations at work about the driving conditions and rampant speculation on the company's bad weather policy and the possibility of car-pooling with the former Alaskan in the morning.

I might actually have to wear socks and a coat tomorrow.

the former Alaskan

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Family Time

Grandpa (Dad's dad) was here for Thanksgiving. At 92 he's moving better than some 50 year old's I know (not meaning my roommate, really). He flew in from Ohio last Wednesday and left on Tuesday. It was a nice visit - I got to eat dinner at my parent's every night! =-)

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Tuesday, November 29, 2005


I got a bonus!

I didn't know I was eligible for the bonus at work. I suspected I was, I hoped I was, but didn't know for sure.

So I got extra bucks! Yipee!!

(and then promptly spent it on something very glamorous - 1 more credit card paid off!!!)

Saturday, November 26, 2005


So I'm in the mall with a 9-yr-old friend. We pass Victoria's Secret. I cringe a bit - after all, I have no idea what she does or doesn't know, what her mom's said, etc...

"That's so cute!"
"I want teddy like that."

And I realize her fantasy is the black and pink themed Christmas tree covered with teddy bears.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Turkey Forever

KK's Best Turkey Sandwich

Toasted bread
Cream cheese
Jellied cranberry sauce
alfalfa sprouts

Assemble. Cut. Enjoy.


Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Decorator Style

The latest in fashionable men's restrooms....

Thanks TLP for letting me shamelessly steal your content!


Ack! I think I'm acclimating!

I have been very proud of my thick Alaskan blood. I was wearing sandals and sleeveless tops weeks before and after everyone else.

And my mom is always cold so there is constant teasing about how I'm warm and don't need extra layers.

Driving to the Lion King, I was actually cold *inside the heated truck!* My mother had to give me her sweater. I am so ashamed...

Sunday, November 20, 2005

The Lion King

Stupendous. Awe-inspiring. Amazing. Fabulous.

There probably are not enough superlatives in the lexicon to describe the experience. The Lion King was really, truly amazing. I am completely in awe of the creative genius of Julie Taymor who did the costumes, mask and puppet design and was the director.

I knew there were "puppets" in the show but this is not your Sunday School hand puppet experience. For example, Scar and several other lions had masks. When the actor was standing upright, the mask rested above the actors head. So Scars mask chin was on the actors forehead. But when the actor bent over, ex. to look Simba in the eyes, the mask moved and came down in front of the actors head so the Scar mask was talking to Simba. It was a fascinating integration of mask, puppetry and acting.

And not all the masks moved. The lionesses and Mufasa's masks were stationary on top of the actors heads. The hyena's masks were an integral part of the costume and actually rested in front on the actor at about belly button level. There was a ridge of fur traveling up the actor hyena's back, over their head and to the mask making the whole actor/mask combo look just like a hunchbacked hyena. And several characters, notably Timon, was a large puppet connected by various wires and such to the actor. It was all incredibly fascinating.

One of my favorite "characters" wasn't even on stage. In the front corners of both stage right and stage left, were percussion platforms filled with every kind of African acoustic instrument you could think of plus others: djembe, conga, shekera, triangle, gong, a bent wood stick with a string that made the coolest plucky sound... So this guy played all these different instruments throughout the show and he looked like he was having the time of his life. He smiled big, sang along, danced to the beat. Not in any distracting sense but my joy in watching the show was enhanced by his obvious joy in performing. I'm so glad we were closer to this guy because his counterpart stage left was a complete stick-in-the-mud.

Being on the aisle was great. The opening sunrise scene includes a parade of the animals making there way to Pride Rock - andthe hugest elephant sauntered down the aisle way right next to me. I *loved* the gazelles (impala?). And the cheetah was great too. There are some good photos here and here.

An amazing experience. It only would have been better if all of you could have joined me! =-)

Friday, November 18, 2005

Powerful Kiss

A Blinding Kiss Australia is famous for its kangaroos, koala bears, and Great
Barrier Reef, but it is also the setting of some strange workplace law cases.
Take the cases of Louise Kelsey and Jirra Collings Ware. In Louise Kelsey's
case, she cites an unusual workplace incident as the cause of her blindness: a
kiss. Kelsey, a maid at the Park Hyatt hotel, testified in Melbourne, Australia,
that she suffered from post traumatic stress disorder after a Uruguayan soccer
player, a guest at the hotel, kissed her against her will, the Daily Telegraph
(Sydney) reports. She claimed the stress disorder led to her blindness. "The
most powerful kiss in history," said a deriding doctor for the defense. The
hotel agreed to settle the case and is negotiating the terms, according to the

Hmmm. I remember being taught that something, ahem, else caused blindness. Kisses just caused babies.

Thursday, November 17, 2005


Last night I let my roommate know I'd be gone Sunday to see the Lion King. I mentioned how excited I was. She said she'd seen the commercials on TV. Then she paused. I was sure she was going to say something about wanting to see it, how cool it must be, etc. Instead "I don't think I would enjoy that kind of thing" and her whole body and demeanor indicated she thought it was a complete waste of time and money.

I can't imagine anyone not being excited by seeing a live show, a live Broadway show, a live Broadway, Tony-Award-winning, completely amazing show!

I don't think my roommate and I would even know each other if not for the roommate thing.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Livin' a Dream

OMG!! Guess what? Guess what??? I'm going to go see the Lion King Broadway show on Sunday!!!

Yipeeeeeee!! Is that not just toooo cool?! Living in the States definately has its advantages!

Sunday, November 13, 2005

My brother serves on the USS Ross. I'm very proud of him and thought I'd share this pict.

051024-N-4374S-010 Atlantic Ocean (Oct. 24, 2005) - The guided missile destroyer USS Ross (DDG 71) underway in the waters of the Atlantic Ocean during UNITAS 47-06 Atlantic Phase. Naval forces from Argentina, Brazil, Spain, Uruguay and the United States are participating in UNITAS 47-06 Atlantic phase. This is a U.S. Southern Command-sponsored exercise that enhances friendly, mutual cooperation and understanding between participating navies by enhancing interoperability in naval operations among the nations of the Western Hemisphere. U.S. Navy photo by Photographer’s Mate 2nd Class Michael Sandberg (RELEASED) Posted by Picasa

Thoughts on Texas

The public library is in a strip mall.

The liquor stores have a drive through window.

With your eggs you can get your choice of a side of grits, hashbrowns or tomatoes.

"Catering" means a huge homemade grill pulled on a hay trailer.

Veggies for fajitas equal one piece of red pepper, one piece of green pepper, an entire grilled onion and a side of Texas beans (definately not refried beans).

The Bible and Christian literature section at Sams is bigger than the Romance section.

Home Again

Well, I'm back - safe and sound. It's so nice to get away and it's so nice to come home to your own bed and own home. My puppies were very happy to see me and one of my little friends was out front playing as I dragged my suitcases up the sidewalk and she gave me the biggest hug. Very gratifying.

In spite of getting up at 1am Texas time, I was feeling fairly energized when I got home (must have been the nap in the car during the drive to DFW airport - thanks Laura!). So puppies got a haircut and bath (several hour process) and then I realized the headache I was fighting was probably from a lack of sleep. Even though I didn't feel tired I decided to lay down and read. Bam! out like a light for two hours. =-) Guess I was tired!

I woke up when my roommate came home. Get this - I'm slowly waking up and rolling out of bed and as I go to the door I hear her on the phone talking in a completely panic-stricken voice: "have you seen Dana? The front door was unlocked and the dogs aren't here and there's stuff on the floor so I know she was here...."

She called my mother! The light was on in my room and she never knocked on the door or stuck her head in. No - she panics, calls my mother and blows up the fact the door is unlocked into this huge drama *that is all in her head!* Geesh!

Yeah, yeah, I should be grateful she was concerned. Rubbish! IF she had searched the house and I'd been gone for hours, then maybe. In this situation, she was just manufacturing drama.

Well, now I know I'm really home!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

New and Improved

See? May entire vacation hasn't been about relaxation! Behold the new layout! =-) Does anyone know how to get rid of the stupid number in front of the links to friends and family?

Monday, November 07, 2005

News of the Day

I haven't missed a nights sleep in a *long* time and my body really doesn't seem to be appreciating the experience. I got to Seattle at 7:30pm and had a 3hour lay-over. Not too bad since I rented a DVD and play and got a bite to eat. I watched another DVD on the plane, which made the three-hour flight pass quickly.

I arrived in DFW at 3am my time; 5am local time. A quick glance in the mirror showed I should have probably tried to sleep - the red eyes were beautiful.

I went to quickly return the DVD player before meeting Laura at baggage claim...only to find out the InMotion kiosk was under construction. It took **45 minutes** to catch the SkyRail to the next concourse and return. Jeepers!! that was annoying. I felt really bad for making Laura wait - thank goodness for cell phones!

Seeing my godson and his family has been great. I think I'll enjoy it more tomorow after a really good nights sleep.

Guess what? I saw a stick bug! I've never seen a stick bug before! The closest I've ever come is Bug's Life! They are funny looking things but cute.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Texas bound

Well I'm off to visit my godson for a week! Last summer I told his mom that if she would fly me down I would organize the then-to-be-purchased-house. So she's in her new place and still in boxes so I get to go help!

Talk to you all later. I'll try not to come back with a Texas drawl. =-)

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Revised Christmas List

(Was books, cd's, etc.)

Bunk beds
2 twin mattresses for said bunk beds
2 twin size waterproof mattress covers
4 sets of gender-neutral bed-in-a-bags
2 pillows
chest of drawers
bedside lamps
Toys for various ages and both genders
Kid's books
Four sets of bath towels and washcloths
Stuffed animals so each child can choose a new friend to keep
Outlet plug push-in safety thingys

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Going forward

So I finally DID something.

I went to foster care parent orientation last night and actually started filling out the application.

I've really realized lately that I have this strong desire to work with kids and do service. Foster care seems a good way to start.

And I am so tired of all the messages - past and present - telling me I can't do it. I refuse to fail any longer because I didn't even try. Defeating myself through self-talk and inaction only drives me into despair and depression. Foster care may turn out to be the worst idea I've ever had - but it's my idea and I want to try. After all, if not me then who?

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Pumpkin Virgin

So I participated in Halloween for the first time ever.

See, I grew up in a conservative Christian home. We did not do Halloween. It is the devil's holiday. And as a good Christian adult, I also eschewed everything Halloween and refused to answer the door even as the trick-or-treater's knocked.

So since I'm still in the whole lost-my-faith-still-figuring-out-what-I-believe phase, I decided to participate in Halloween.

Last weekend, I (and several young helpers) carved my very first pumpkin. That was fun! The girls picked out all the pumpkin seeds and a couple days later we roasted them - yummy!

I actually bought the pumpkin at a local attraction - the Maise. T (one of my young friends) and I spent 45 minutes wandering through the corn maze, took a hay ride into another corn field where they had stashed bunches of pumpkins among the corn stalks (yes, I am aware pumpkins do not grow in corn fields).

I bought Halloween candy (opened it three days early) and spent last night imitating a popcorn piece - jumping up from the couch to answer the door. Not as many trick-or-treaters as I had thought but still fun to see all the costumes.

I did not get dressed up - didn't even really think about it until Sunday. Maybe next year.

Still not into the scary, ghoulishness of Halloween and maybe I'll someday go back to seeing the day for the true evil it is...

In the meantime, I'll remember the fun of pumpkin carving and the smile on the kids faces as I gave them the candy. Can't believe I missed that for all these years

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Positive and negative

I've been thinking about my weight a lot lately. I'm feeling better than I have in a long time. Inside I feel thin and healthy - the outside definately does not match. Being this incredibly heavy is very embarassing and depressing. I know what to do (eat less, exercise more). Motivation to eat less is definately a problem - food is a huge source of comfort for me.

I'm going to visit my godson in Tx in two weeks - Yeah! I'm going to have to fit into an airline seat - sense of dread and doom.

Here is a really great blog entry by another writer on the good and bad things associated with being overweight. I especially liked "-- had small children tell me I was "squashy and beautiful".


I'm listening to the radio at work. Alanis Morissette begins singing "Ironic". I'm coding some invoices and the phrase "it's like rain on your wedding day" makes me think of the rainbow my former husband and I saw as we walked out of the church. His best man swore it was a sign of the beautiful life we were going to have. FH swore it was God's sign of blessing.

They were both gay. And the rainbow is also a symbol for... Yeah, ironic.

I'm still laughing to myself as I go back to coding benefit bills. I should've seen it coming - it was litterally written in the heavens! =-)


Yesterday I arrived at my organization clients house. She's not there. I call. She's running late. So I kick back in the car. It's a beautiful day, I roll down the windows, feel the breeze on my face, close my eyes and listen to my book-on-CD.

As a result of the moment of relaxation, I drove to work today with at least 100 passengers. See, I left my windows down when my client pulled up. And the client has sheep...and a horse... and a turkey... and a dog... and rabbits...

And when I left the appointment to go home, the flies were so thick on the inside roof of my car, I thought my tan roof had turned black.

Frantic waving of the arms and driving home with all the windows down has reduced the population by about half... I think... they could be breeding.

So any thoughts on getting rid of the other half? I'm strongly tempted to go get some bug-killer-spray on the way home and bomb my car.

The one fly that actually found it's way inside my instrument panel is actually kind of cute rushing around my speedometer trying to find a way out.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

I'm just saying...

If one has a warrant out for one's arrest, one should really not drive without tail lights.

Monday, October 17, 2005

My nieces Rori and Cadee. Are they just cute or what?!?!?!! Posted by Picasa

Friday, October 14, 2005

Social Security Card Issued by Woolworths

...promote its product by showing how a Social Security card would fit into its wallets. The wallet was sold by Woolworth stores... many purchasers of the wallet adopted the SSN as their own. In the peak year of 1943, 5,755 people were using Hilda's number. As late as 1977, 12 people were found to still be using the SSN "issued by Woolworth."

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Falling apart

Bad fall in the parking lot, hurting my knee...
Severe neck/shoulder pain from working on a project on the floor for 5 hours...
Tripped over the computer cord and fell...
Smacked my head against the sharp corner of a first aid box at the gas station...
Broke my toe at a clients house...

Two massage and three chiropractor appointments later I still wake up in so much pain I can barely turn over..

All this in the past few weeks... I'm begining to feel a bit paranoid...

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Bad but funny

As an HR manager, one of my more onerous duties is to write letters of rejection to applicants. In searching for some suggested language, I found the site Letters of Rejection. Apparently, if you don't like my LOR, you can post it here so the world can share your pain. Some of them are pretty amusing.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Informed Opinion

So I'm cooking breakfast on a slow Saturday morning and my roommate comes in to inform me of her opinion.

"Did you hear about that crazy American who spent 20 million to... to... to..."
"Go into space?"
"Yes. Isn't that just stupid?"
"It's the adventure of a lifetime."

(So at this point I'm thinking maybe she's appalled by the about of money spent - thinks it should have been used for the poor, fund a small country, etc. Instead I hear...)

"If the good Lord had wanted us to go into space He would have put us there."

I was floored. I couldn't even come up with one of my normal, casual, non-committal replies. So landing on the moon, the space station, probes to Mars are all somehow violations of God's will?!?!?

"If the good Lord had wanted us to go into space He would have put us there." This is the same logic used by conservative fathers to say "If the good Lord had wanted you to wear earrings He would have put the holes in your head."

Thursday, September 29, 2005


Last week I rode the bus in to work. I stayed later to finish up some projects including a job offer letter for an internal promotion.

I was out the door when the receptionist yelled after me that the boss wanted to see me. Some quick thinking about consequences (the next bus would not be for two hours vs. not taking the bosses call) brought me to the phone.

He said I had misspelled the employees name and could I change it please. Normally, no problem. But in my I'm-going-to-miss-the-bus panic, I blurted out something to the effect of can you change the a to an e with a pen - I rode the bus today - I'm going to miss it. He paused, said ok and I dashed out the door. Not my finest example of quick thinking.

I was so embaressed. I can't believe I was in such a position. The bus?!?!?! I am not riding the bus again. I never want to be in a position of telling my boss I can't do something because I have to catch a bus.

Word Play

My business name is Solutions.

I was ushered in to a client's office and he was grinning from ear to ear. I asked what was so funny.

I had just been announced as Klondike Kate from Delusions.

Thursday, September 22, 2005


Everybody should have gotten a chance to meet Melissa. We should have had the chance to be with her longer.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

My roommate's cat Smokey. He was sitting like this when I got home from grocery shopping... Posted by Picasa

Puppy Service

I think Seby has become the official Poop Patrol voice.

Seby has a very distinctive and clear method for letting me know he needs to go outside. He will first stand at the door and stare at me. If I don't notice him he will issue a soft woof followed by a tight circle, pivoting on his haunches. If I still don't listen, he will continue to woof softly, followed by a slightly louder growl. Once I look at him he will proceed to show off his BBall skills and jump on the door - reaching the height of the door handle.

So it's pretty clear when Seby needs out. My other dog, Glory, and my roommate's dog Tippy, are much less vocal. They'll wait all day. But as soon as I ask "do you want to go outside?", they're both right at the door, tails wagging.

So when I'm home, I tend to get focused and don't let the dogs out every five minutes as my roommate is wont to do. During the last week, there have been at least two occasions when Seby barked to go outside, I let all three out, and he proceeds to just stand in the sun and sniff the air. The other two will take care of their apparently urgent business while Seby gets a tan.

I'm not exactly sure how dog communication works, but I think Tippy and Glory each promised Seby extra cookies if he would speak up and get that two-legged person to open the door.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Roommate Pros and Cons

One the plus side -
- she pays her rent on-time
- she does all the dishes, takes out the garbage and vacuums (never asked; just her style)
- she likes my dogs and treats them well
- she empties out the doggie poop container on the patio
- she is sweet-hearted
- I can't afford not to have responsible roommate...
- she provides great fodder for my blog

On the negative side -
- EVERYTHING she does annoys me
- her cat scratches MY belongings
- she craps more than any person I know and doesn't use the fan
- she starts conversations while she's still in the hall so she is constantly interrupting my TV watching, computer time or book reading and doesn't seem to "get" how rude that is
- she always wants to know my schedule and is constantly telling me hers - some of that is reasonable but not to this extent
- already posted about the copying me thing
- she loves to gossip and tell me things about her niece, daughter, clients that I just don't care about
- she complains about her age a lot
- she's accused me of stealing her stuff but when I told her I couldn't believe she would stay in a place where she thought the landlord was dishonest, she got flustered and said she didn't want to move and almost started crying
- she's always saying stupid, pithy expressions like "time to head back to the barn" which she decided to take time to tell me meant returning home though she was in the kitchen at the time she said it so what she was really saying is that she was going to her room.

So - what would you do? Put up with the petty annoyances to keep the responsible roommate who's basically volunteered to be the maid. Or place an ad and gamble the next one will be both responsible and non-annoying? Such a dilemma....

Thursday, September 15, 2005

The Roommate

OK - this probably doesn't sound like a big deal. But boy! did this annoy me!

I came home Tuesday and noticed a new plastic shower curtain hanging in the shower. I, obviously, had not put it there. Roommate did.

Now it seems like I should regard this as a sweet thing, a kind gesture on her part. But I don't. For one, it's a $.99, snow white flimsy piece of crap. I want my shower liner to match the curtain so I buy ecru/off-white. And the stupid liner should not be sooo lightweight as to blow in the breeze of hot shower steam. Two, she was being sneaky and didn't discuss changing something in my house with me. Three, she got rid of something belonging to me without even a note. (but since I'm such a thief, I guess turn-around's fair play. Bah!)

I confronted her last night. I was nice but asked why, where's mine, talk to me next time, etc. She was uncomfortable and talked fast. She thought the old liner was getting too crudy on the bottom. I don't remember it being like that but then I don't study the liner that often. Even if it did need to be replaced she should have asked me. My house, my responsibility.


On bus riding

You know who rides buses? Kids!

OK - for those of you who grew up in cities with bus systems, this is not a huge revelation. But I've always lived in communities without bus systems at all or with a limited bus system. So kids + school transportation = big yellow school bus with hard green bench seats.

So it was an interesting revelation to realize that the times I ride the bus from big city to small town correspond with school hours and thus Kids on Bus.

Riding the bus in definately cheaper since the Zone 1 fees don't seem to be enforced. Rides (with the 10 ride tickets) are .40 each. The web says it's supposed to be a ticket + .50 and just a single fare is $1.50. But they don't seem to make us pay. So basically, I'm riding for .80 a day - which is a whole lot cheaper than gas for a 55 miles round trip.

Slower - buses are definately slower but I get to listen to my books on CD, doze a bit, chill out. I can make the time work for me.

A couple things I was right about: smelly people and well, that's about it. I did have a gentleman sit across from me that talked to the invisible person next to him but not scary/dangerous.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

In Memory

Pentagon, Washington, DC; United Airlines, Flight 93; World Trade Center, New York...

Never forgotten...

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People who ride buses are poor.

People who ride buses are blue collar workers.

People who ride buses have low IQ's.

People who ride buses are dangerous.

People who ride buses smell.

A few reasons I have always avoided riding the bus system. It's completely prejudicial and entirely unfair for me to have these sort of thoughts.

And now I'm going to get the opportunity to overcome this little prejudice of mine. Yes people, I'm going to become a bus rider.

In deference to rising gas prices, tightening of the household budget belt, and my high-minded desire to contribute to Lowering America's Dependence on Foreign Oil, I am now going to take the bus to work 4 times per week (Wednesday's work schedule doesn't correspond with the bus schedule).

Except for tomorrow - 'cause I have an appointment at an off-bus-schedule time. So Tuesday. I'll tell you all about my bus-rider experience on Tuesday.

I know you can't wait.


They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Well when my annoying little brother "flattered" me, all I remember is sincerely desiring to lock him in his room.

Parents usually say stuff like this to keep the peace between siblings, at least for another 5 minutes. I wonder if they believe it?

'Cause my roommate is imitating me and I am definately NOT feeling flattered. Shortly after she moved in, I bought a bottle of rum. Her whiskey showed up soon after. Not a big deal. she may not have known alcohol was ok to have in the house.

But now, after a few months of watching her habits I recognize some changes. I buy apples and cantelope, she buys apples and cantelope. I start going to the farmers market, she goes to the farmers market. I get low-fat Cool Whip...the next week there's low-fat Cool Whip on her shelf. I hang up some of my laundry to line dry, low-and-behold, she start line drying. (after commenting to me that she just throws everything in the dryer.)

Lots of little things centered mostly around my buying habits. Weird....

Tuesday, September 06, 2005


I just checked my business page for it's Google ranking. It scored a disapointing, though not entirely unexpected, 2 out of 10.

My blog, on the other hand, scored 3 out of 10.

Medical Mystery

I cough in my sleep. sometime enough to wake myself up. This is very annoying.

My former husband used to tell me I was coughing in my sleep. Actually what he mentioned was my annoying habit of sleep-coughing directly into his face. Probably not my most endearing trait.

This coughing thing has been getting much more annoying as I now force feed myself throat lozenges and cough drops throughout the night and wake up with a thick scum coating my entire mouth. Probably a good thing I'm not greating another human with a wake up kiss at this point.

So awhile back I figured maybe the sub-zero temperature I like to have in the bedroom prior to sleeping was contributing to the coughing. So I *increased* the air conditioner's temp set. This worked for a few nights. I tried increasing again without too much luck.

So in my sleep induced haze, hacking my head off, I figured I'd turn over. It worked! I quit coughing!

So now I'm trying to turn over onto my right side when I feel that annoying tickle. Problem is I like sleeping on my left side. So now instead of waking up because I'm coughing, I wake up because I'm uncomfortable.

So here's the big question -*Why* does turing over squelch the coughing mechanism?

I eagerly await your well-thought-out and scientifically based opinions.

Saturday, September 03, 2005


So Thursday I go to the pool with one of my young friends. It's about 5:30pm. I think it's about 85 degrees outside. And I'm worried the pool will be too cold...

This is just not right. When we arrived last year - we were both jonesing for the pool before it even opened! And 85 degrees was sweltering!

So we got to the pool...and jumped in...and OMG it was freezing!

I think I may be done with the unheated, outdoor pool thing for the summer. And it's not even Labor Day yet!

I'm becoming such a wimp.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Practice in real life

I'm in a life coaching class called MOVE. The class is different than anything I've ever done before because it is so focused on our actions and the real-life application of what we do.

So tonight we were reviewing communication habits and practicing ways to communicate differently. One of the guys showed up without his girlfriend. Which I was glad to see. Don't mean to be unchairitable but she's a serious drama queen, not very bright, completely in the victim role and wants all the attention on her. And she's been getting more disruptive in class as we've learned to stay focused on our goals and the current exercise (thus ignoring her).

So BF is here alone and 10 minutes into class she comes storming in. "I don't want to interrupt class but..." and she gestures for BF to go see her. He doesn't come right away so she flies back and bangs on the window and he gives in and goes to her. Class continues as they (she) screams and argues in the parking lot for about 20 minutes. Apparently she is having a back emergency and needs to go the ER - even though this happened two days ago and she could have gone any time during the day.

He comes back, she interrups again. He gets ready to leave and the class calls him on his actions. She is completely manipulating the situation, creating drama, and he's doing what he's always done, placating.

So he sits back down and as a class we really get into the communication of the situation and try to work out alternatives. We've all been in similar patterns even if not quite so dramatic a fashion so it was a real-time example of what we were trying to learn in class.

In the meantime, she's going ballistic. Through the window I see her driving crazy around the parking lot, flashing her headlights, charging toward the building (!) before throwing on the breaks, blowing the horn - on and on and on.

I'm thinking - good grief woman! If you have to go to the ER, go already!! But this was obviously not about the ER.

So class is discussing and using the principles being illustrated to relate to situations in their own lives and the police show up. This woman is going off so brilliantly that someone calls the cops on her!

So the cops talk to her, talk to the BF, try to get it settled. I felt sorry for the BF. He's trying to change and be a better communicator, she doesn't like it, then he needs to deal with the police. the police get her calmed down and advise him to drive them both home. So he does.

We finish the class with a recap and a flourish.

What a night!

Monday, August 29, 2005

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Jill Neal's Wild (but tasteful) Women

I first saw Jill Neal's work at the Arts Fair last year. I fell in love with the wonderful women she depicted. I loved them for their size, their enthusiasm, their humor.

I didn't purchase any at the time but I went back this year and she had a booth again. I bought 8 different small prints. Someday I'll have enough dough to get them all framed.

Check out her site. You'll love it! (Not all the pieces I chose are on the site but a few are. I'll let you guess which ones!)

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Saturday, August 27, 2005

So this is the crew at my house on a Saturday. Sigh. The life of a furry creature is quite nice. Posted by Picasa


Yeah, I should have posted this in the beginning of the week but didn't so...

Wednesday was such a great day! I can't remember when I felt so good about the day I was having. I was up extra early to attend a business networking meeting where I gave a short (10 min) presentation on what I do. Nice questions and feedback from the group.

Then I met with a lifecoach I'm working with and had a really great session focusing on goals for the next two months.

Then I had an organizing appointment helping a guy get his car organized since it basically functions as a traveling office.

Then I went and met with a new friend I met in the life coaching group class. He's a great listener and I got to talk through the incident with T I posted about earlier. So great to talk and decompress.

I went to work in the best of moods!


So I learned that my former husband is now legally domestic partners with the guy he moved to be with in California.

I must admit this has thrown me a bit for a loop. 1 - he said he was leaving because I was sick and he wasn't going to pursue a gay lifestyle. Obviously that changed in the past year. Since the change process happened without me (duh!), I just have these two reference points - leaving me, getting together with this other guy. No big judgements - just really weird. And lots of questions about the process.

Then, 2, I'm not even considering dating yet and he's already "hitched"! =-)

I can only imagine what his loving yet conservative family must be thinking. His grandparents are probably rolling over in their graves and they're not even dead yet!! =-)

There were a lot of really great things about my marriage and our relationship. Yet on the whole it seems we kept each other from growth - almost like we brought out the weakest side in each other. I hope this relationship is much more positive for him.

Poor Man's (illegal) furniture

Have you heard about this guy yet? Out-of-money dude moves and needs a desk for his computer. He builds one out of FedEx boxes. Very creative!

Builds more furniture. Gets a website and posts pictures. Legal action ensues. Very amusing!

Monday, August 22, 2005

Follow Up

I didn't realize how upset I was by all this until I tossed and turned all night, forgot about one morning appointment which made me late for the second appointment. This seems to have really gotten to me.

So for the rest of the story... When T (the child) first came to me we were able to sit down and talk. I think I said alot of the right things. We made a plan if he ever came back (inside = run to her room, hide and call the police; outside=come to my house and we call the police together). We talked about how she was not big enough to deal with him - she wouldn't be safe. Made her promise to never let a man do that to her even if she loves him with all her heart and to the tips of her toes. Talked about not keeping this secret (she was embarrassed her friend knew) - this is not a good secret to keep - telling others means there's more people to help and keep her safe.

At that time her mom was not going to go to the police. We talked about how her mom probably felt embarrassed but if this ever happened to T she needed to tell the police. Later in the evening I talked with her mom and mom had just returned from the police station. Yeah!

So T was feeling better and asked to go get friends and play a game. She came back with another kid friend, B. Unfortunately B was with T and they both walked in on T's mom after the attack. This was really new to B. I had her call her mother then I talked to B's mother. Then we three sat down to a game.

It was a strange game as the conversation alternated between game talk and "her shirt was all bloody" and "I just want to punch him back".

T's mom had called her brother over so T's cousin joined the game shortly thereafter. My roommate came home. I gave her a short update and the girls asked the roommate to join the game so we went to a five person game.

T's aunt popped her head in and asked if I would watch the girls while they went back to the house to get overnight stuff. T's mom had asked her brother and family to stay the night for safety and comfort. So all five (T, B, the cousin, the roommate and me!) of us sat down to dinner.

T's mom and family were gone quite awhile - turns out they aunt/uncle had talked the mom into filing a report. When T's mom came to the door to pick up the girls she told me she had gone to the police. I had no problem with watching them so she could do that!

So that's the story so far. T was doing much better when she went home. I feel so privledged that I was a safe person she could come to in a time of crisis. How precious is that?!

So now I get to try and concentrate here at work. I do believe my morning break is over. =-)

Sunday, August 21, 2005


oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.... This only happens to to others...I thought.

One of my kid-friends just came to me crying because she witnessed her mother's ex-boyfriend punch her mom across the room.

How do you explain to a kid that her ideas of finding and punching the guy are noble but inappropriate, dangerous, wrong, etc???? What do you say to a child who's witnessed violence more than once when she asks "why me? why my family?"

Going to go play a game and cheer up/distract the child. Will process more later...

Friday, August 19, 2005

Spiritual Snooze

Soul not quite up to snuff? Don't tell your employer! Especially if you're Carlos Santana's personal assistant. You might just get your ass fired right here on earth.

Apparently not only must you have skills, you must also be "spiritually calibrated" to the right frequency and if you happen to have "low consciousness" well, too bad for you.

Ya know, I've heard of getting fired for sleeping on the job (lack of consciousness) but just a low consciousness??

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Tag meme

Bossco provided this tag and I haven't done one in ages so here goes...

10 Years Ago Today...
Hmmm, 24 years old, just graduated from college a few months ago. What a relief! Hubby and I agreed to house-sit for a doctor who had a huge house - no rent for a whole year!! Searching for a job. Finally found one working as a dental assistant. Yup, fresh out of college and I sucked spit for a living.

5 years Ago Today...
Hmmm, 2000, we're out of school... I think at this point I'm working for the Chamber of Commerce as the Executive Assistant. Hubby is the assistant pastor of music at First Baptist. We have no idea what's coming down the road...

1 year ago today...
Still in shock from hubby's departure and imminent divorce. Still without a job. I have no idea what joy and pain and growth the next year is about to bring...

Hung out with neighbor kids, went to a picnic and met some new people, felt sorry for myself and got over it, balanced my bank accounts, watched a really bad movie.

Work at a job I love! Meet with a client - Yeah! Grocery shopping.

5 Snacks I Enjoy...
1. Popcorn and Diet Coke
2. Ice cream and Diet Coke
3. Tortilla chips, beans and cheese and Diet Coke
4. Pita chips, ranch and Diet Coke
5. Pistachios and Diet Coke

5 Bands That I Know Most of the Lyrics to Their Songs
1. U2
(That's about it. Listen mostly to the radio.)

5 Things I Would Do With a Cool Mill
1. Pay off all debt
2. Build or buy a house with bedrooms for all my kids
3. Generous gifts to my family - completely spoil my nieces and godson
4. Emergency Fund/Investments
5. Adopt

5 Locations I Would Like To Run Away To
Renamed 5 places I want to go to on a cruise....
1. Down the west coast of South America to Antarctica
2. East coast of South America and the Amazon River
3. Pacific cruise including Hawaii, Japan, China, Hong Kong, Austrailia, New Zealand, etc.
4. European cruise
5. Trans-atlantic voyage

5 Bad Habits I Have
1. Overeating
2. Talking myself into depression and frustration
3. Think about doing but never getting to the doing
4. Failing to signal when changing lanes
5. Allowing my roommate to always do the dishes and take out the trash (we don't have to want to change these bad habits, right?!)

5 Things I Like Doing
1. Hanging with the neighborhood kids
2. Planning things
3. Watching TV
4. Reading
5. Beading and wire work

5 Things I Would Never Wear
1. Lycra/spandex as day wear
2. Short shorts
3. Midrift bearing tops
4. Heavy weight cords
5. Gouchos/ponchos

5 TV Shows I Like(d)
1. X-Files
2. StarGate (including Atlantis)
3. 6 Feet Under
4. Will and Grace
5. Extreme Makeover Home Edition

5 Movies I Like
1. Like Water for Chocolate
2. Lagaan
3. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
4. Center Stage; Save the Last Dance; dance movies in general
5. Miss Congeniality I and II

5 Famous People I Would Like to Meet
Not too much into the fame thing....

5 Biggest Joys at the Moment
1. Being close to my parents
2. Being a friend to some great kids
3. Being the boss of myself
4. Recent weight loss
5. Rereading all the Harry Potter books

5 Favorite Toys
1. Laptop and Internet
2. Books
3. DVR
4. Noodles (pool floaties)
5. Go For Broke (game)

5 People to Tag
Assuming they aren't going to kill me...
1. Joat
2. Knottyboy
3. Valette (though already tagged by Bossco)

Monday, August 08, 2005


My godson Mario was here!!! He, his mom Laura, and his grandparents are driving from Alaska to Texas. Laura is a Captain in the Air Force and is relocating to a new base.

It's been ages since I've seen them last and I've been looking forward to this visit for months. They called Sunday morning and we got to spend all day together. It was great! (Though I will say that after 12 hours of focused play with a 6-year-old boy I'm wiped out!) We fed the ducks in the park, spent 3 hours (!) in the pool, and went to the Playground of Dreams.

My godson has always been big for his age but I was suprised to see how tall he's grown. He just finished Kindergarten, is 6 years old, 4'10" and 95 pounds! The child is going to grow to NBA height!

The swimming pool was great fun as I got to watch him gain confidence in the water. Three years ago he lived in Tx and loved the water. But that was a long time ago. He doesn't yet swim so he wore a life vest for the first while. Then we progressed to jumping with the vest on, then jumping without the vest onto noodles and then to jumping without warning. The last part wasn't so cool as he doesn't yet do a great job of resurfacing after said jump.

On a side note, his mom and I now know Mario as a "three noodle kid". Noodles are great fun and I've seen kids and adults both enjoy relaxing as the float on one. With only one noodle, Mario still sank. I swear, his muscle is more dense than normal. Anyway, with two noodles, he was keeping his head up but three noodles was definately the comfortable way to go. That's alot of floatation for one kid!

We had a wonderful time. Laura and I didn't get a chance to talk much as Mario kept our attention on him but hopefully we'll get to yak more over email. They left this morning for Oregon to visit great-grandma prior to California to visit family and go to Disneyland. I miss them already.

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Friday, August 05, 2005

All I Want for Christmas...



Rose Garden, Portland, OR
Mon, Dec 19, 2005 07:30 PM

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Job requirement

I just created a job description for my company that listed, as a job requirement, "Proven organoleptic and sensory evaluation skills."

The Unexpected

I can't believe it - my bossed just pranked me!

I brought a document into his office for his signature. He looked for a pen. I saw one on the desk and handed it to him. He kept looking for a pen and said "Try that one. See if it works." I depressed the clicker and got a nifty little shock in my thumb!

He turned red laughing and appologizing at the same time.

That was too funny. I can't believe he did that! He said the pen's been on his desk for six months and no one had yet asked for a pen. Lucky me. =-)

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Pink whiskers

I looked at Seby this morning and just grinned. He had pink whiskers!

I don't know what it is lately about waking up to puppy messes on the floor.... Yesterday morning I woke up and saw about 1/2 dozen puke spots on the floor. And while I was cleaning, Seby puked twice more so I'm pretty sure I know who the culprit is.

Well, my vet once told me that you can use people medicine on dogs - just treat them like babies and dose according to weight. Pukey dog equals Pepto Bismol - right?!?

He didn't want to take it so I had to force feed the poor guy. But he hasn't tossed his cookies since then so it worked, right? =-)

Monday, August 01, 2005

Understanding the Reason

When I was a temp, I worked for a company who was working on a personnel policy. It was going very slow. I'm going to go see the boss today and see if they still need one done and see if they'll be one of my trial clients.

That is the only reason I can think of for feeling so sick to my stomach I'm gagging every few minutes in between trips to the restroom.

Anticipation of rejection is a bitch.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

The Pain

I did not realize how much of owning your own business was rejection. People saying no - people looking at you crazy for quoting a price - etc.

I've been reading several marketing books lately because I really need to get paying clients and that is very hard in a place where I'm not known and where I know so few people. To do this I have to sell myself and my product - organizing services.

May I just say I hate sales?! I did some direct sales of make-up/skin care one summer in college. I didn't continue because I just couldn't push someone to buy something they said they couldn't afford and I didn't like working so hard and being told no I don't want any! (selfish me, I know).

Now I own my own business - which is organization not sales - and yet, sales in the name of the game. Books will tell you if you talk to 10 people and one says yes then you're doing great - that's a 10% conversion factor! The really great people get to 60% and most of us to 40-50%. That means there is a whole lot of talking to people who are going to reject my offer in the future. I really hate that.

I get that whole thing of looking positive and finding the Yes and so on. Just right now, it sucks.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Notes from the day

She did it again. I'm wearing a nice outfit. The roommate comes in and wants to know if it's Thursday or Friday. 'Cause apparently I'm wearing an outfit that screems "casual". It was Thursday. When is she going to learn to keep her mouth shut????

More weight loss - yeah! But weird eating habits. I'm definately recognizing the emotional ties to my eating - I just don't know what to do to change it. One of my young friends was over last night. We made pancakes together. I ate 3. I wanted more but I wouldn't eat in front of her. So I gorged after she left. How sick is that?!?!

I still haven't brought in any new clients. I talk to people and they tell me how succesful I'm going to be but still no clients. I'm having a hard time even giving my services away! (testing new products in exchange for testimonial) This would have been so much easier in Fairbanks where I knew lots of people and I was known. It's really hard to figure out how to reach people when you're in a new town.

I have found a great hairstylist! This is a significant accomplishment!

My windshield cracked in the heat so it was replaced last week. Which meant I no longer have an Alaska registration sticker on my window. One more small thing gone. Maybe I'll become a Washingtonian yet.

106. Degrees. Outside. (That's all I have to say on that.)

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Feet first

There are many ways to get into the pool. There's the cautious toe dip that has one cringing before even touching the water. There's the graceful glide down the stairs. And the variation of desending the ladder into the water. There's the very controlled dive into the depths with arms outstretched.

And then there's the blind cannonball - jumping off into the unknown depths to be immersed in an indefinate temperature of chlorinated water.

I have become a cannonball jumper.

Monday, July 25, 2005


I'm so mad now I could just spit.

I didn't sleep well - really weird dreams. My jaw aches from clenching my teeth. I'm tense. I'm ready to snap at anybody and everybody. I want to hit something.

Only I have no idea why.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Random Thoughts

It's been a long while since I posted... those phantom blog posts are going well though! =-) Here are a few thoughts I pulled out of the ether and transcribe into electronic form...

Last Friday is was 102. That is really hot. Especially if your body still thinks you're an Alaskan.

Last Friday I ran a few errands with my mom. First stop returning 5 boys in their car to their mother. Their car had no air conditioner. 102. 20 minute drive. No air conditioning. I spent the rest of the evening feeling sick, laying on the couch underneath the air conditioner.

Hot weekend weather = people in the pool at 9pm. This is a new one for me. To drive past the pool at night, after dark and see 20 people still hanging out.

I've been having lots of fun with my young friends going to the pool almost daily. Annaid was afraid of the water but with some encouragement has now progressed to jumping into the deep end (I catch her hands), and paddling along while holding on to my fingers. Just this week she discovered a Noodle allows her to paddle all over without my support. Problem is I cannot seem to teach her how to float. This is critical is teaching her how to swim and feeling like she's not going to drown if I don't keep a sharp eye out. Exactly how do you teach a kid how to float????

I got vacation time!!!!!! Remember how frustrated I was that I only got 20 hours of vacation after a year instead of the 50 after 90 days that I thought I should get? Well, I (finally!) had my 90 (read 180) day review and my boss addressed the memo I sent requesting a change in my original offer letter to give me more vacation. We discussed it but he was seriously stuck on the "signed this letter" thing. He said he would ammend it to 25 hours after the first of the year but that was it. I thanked him and left.

The next day I was working (very coincidentally) on two other employee vacation issues and was given the current vacation policy in memo form that I had never seen. So in applying that vacation policy to the employee's situation, I realized the policy spelled out vacation for part-timers according to the exact same schedule I was advocating!! So in an off-hand moment I gave my boss the memo, re-iterated that I didn't go looking for it, and said I thought he'd like to know what the policy actually said.

Long and short - I got my vacation time!!!!! Yeah!

On the probationary review - I received outstanding on every category except one - you guessed it - tardiness. You know, even though he rated me excellent on everything, the one thing that sticks in my mind is the "unsatisfactory" for being late. The frustrating thing is I thought I was doing really well. I guess in comparison I am doing well. BUT in the last three months I have been late 12 times. "Excessive" was his term. Last means even one minute past 9am. So most of my lates were clocking in at 9:02 or 9:03. Frustrating for me but I'm not mad at him. It's a very strict standard but really, there's no reason I shouldn't be able to clock in at 8:58-9:00. It's just so annoying that I'm not "there" yet. Grrrrr. Very embarrassing really.

So that's the news for the week. Enjoy your Sunday!

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Saturday's obsession

I was going to post that I couldn't post because I just got my copy of the Harry Potter book. Yes, I am one of the masses... though I was smart enough to order from Amazon and so did not stand in line for hours waiting for the midnight release.

I read it all yesterday. It was great and I've been depressed all day. I can't decide if I'm depressed because of a very shocking and sad turn of events in the book (no spoilers from me!) or if it's because I have nothing more to look forward too.....

Monday, July 11, 2005

Tie Guy

Ever worn a crazy tie to work? Do it once or twice and most people will just label you as having really bad taste. Do it all the time and you become a community fixture.

Unless you work for the government. Then you're a subversive and ordered to conform. So much for the wild, individuality of the Alaskan mystique.

The story.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Top 10

Ten reasons hanging with kids is so great...

10 - pick up games of croquet
9 - teachable moments like explaining that the dog peeing every few steps is the way he marks his territory
8 - shredding paper becomes one of the funnest things in the whole wide world
7 - giggling
6 - they don't think I'm too fat to go swimming
5 - card games become less about winning and more about sportmanship
4 - making potato salad knowing that hard boiled eggs cut into amusing trapezoids really just makes it taste better
3 - playing with kids is better than any gym membership
2 - learning Spanish
1 - there's nothing like a kid to make you laugh when you feel down

Continuing the saga...

I decided to bring up the missing stuff conversation again hoping to get it resolved. No such luck. I ended up almost yelling at her. My roommate is now convinced that I tossed some of her stuff when going through my ex-husbands stuff. Apparently I couldn't tell what was his/mine/ours and what was hers and apparently I sent her stuff to him.

And the mysterious tomato box is still an issue. Now it includes a pink clipboard and some second-hand candles that she gave me, I tossed, and she rescued. Right. I tossed her gift and then decided I really needed those darn candles (which I wouldn't be able to display because I stole them back from her) so I misplaced/tossed/sent to my former husband the entire contents of the tomato box.


I've decided to drop the issue and use this to motivate me to work harder on my business so I can generate the income I need to pay the rent all by my little lonesome. Then I will convert the big bedroom into a kids room and take in foster kids.

And be very happy about showing her the door.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Fat Man Walking

I just heard about the journey of Steve Vaught, a 400+ pound man who is walking across the US to lose weight and regain his self. His story is inspirational. He too battled depression and gained lots of weight along that journey. Now he is walking off the weight and sorting out the stuff in his head.

I only wish I were closer so I could offer shelter and a shower for a night.

Keep trekking Steve!

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Where I'm from

For all my non-Alaskan readers and former Alaskan readers...

Presenting the moose who checked into the hospital...

And yes this really happened at Alaska Regional Medical Center in Anchorage, Alaska. And no, it's not a fake. And no, it's not common. But yes, it is common to see moose in the city - especially young, stupid ones. Well, at least the moose was smart enough to turn around and leave (and the people were smart enough to stay out of its way!)

Monday, July 04, 2005

The real story

I'm so pissed off! Remember the note my roommate left me? Well, of all the things I thought it could have been, the real subject was no where close.

She accused me of stealing her stuff. Me! Stealing!

And the stuff I've supposedly thefted? Papers, an old hammer, an old pair of pliers and an tomato box full of stuff. What papers you may ask? Receipts for rent. From me. I stole the receipts I wrote while she was renting from me.

Arrest me now.

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Sunday, July 03, 2005


So this is the anniversary weekend. Which explains my lethargy and not feeling like doing anything. This year also explains why I was able to shake off the lethargy and have a really good day yesterday. It seemed like it would be healthy and interesting to run down the highs and lows of the year.

Last year I was sleeping 12-14 hours a day and watching 10-12 hours of TV. Last night I went to bed on my own and woke up on my own - 7 hours. I still watch lots of TV. =-)

I started my own business.

I'm still trying to make my business go.

I got a dream job in HR which I love.

I moved into a new apartment - all my own memories.

I refurnished and got new everything - bed, couch, towels, etc.

I gained weight.

I started Weight Watchers just last week and I've lost 5 pounds to start.

I am *completely* med free. No anti-anxiety, anti-depressants or anti-psychotics. Daily vitamins - that's it.

He said he left me because of my sickness and he felt he would be taking care of me forever. I am now healthy, functioning and definitely not sick. The irony is I don't know that I would have gotten better if he stayed.

I've made one adult friend that didn't work out. I've made another adult friend through work. I have three great 9 year-old friends from the apartment complex. I'd rather hang out with them.

I don't know if he consciencely knew he was leaving when we drove the Alcan but there were signs. Yet the move brought me to a new home and to my parents. I am grateful.

I have had two roommates to share the rent. I can't decide if this means I can't/won't/don't want to live truly by myself or if it's really a financial thing. Or if it even matters.

I wish I was a mom.

I tried sattelite TV and switched back to cable after 3 months. And I got a digital recorder. Which I am never giving up!

I am much more outgoing than I remember being. And I am very much a quiet homebody. I need to get out each day or I fall too easily into depression. When I've had great interaction with people, I'm ready to come home and veg and be silent and not engage at all.

I've lost my faith.

I think I'm becoming a liberal.

Everything that I thought about being gay is/has changing/changed.

I really don't like cats.

I don't want emotional entaglements. I'm definitely not ready to date and really not too keen on making friends. I'm not ready for some adult to need my emotional support.

I'm learning so much about myself. I love this time of exploration and discovery.

I really value my friends who have stuck with me and who will let me call at midnight. Hugs and kisses to Laura and Jenn.

I still haven't unpacked the three boxes of framed picts and photo albums.

I changed back to my maiden name. I still find little things in my married name. Last week is was the dog's ID tags (I made new ones). It was also my framed college diploma. How does one deal with that? It's who I was when I earned the diploma and I was very happy with that person. It is not who I am now and I really don't feel like explaining the difference to people.

Some days it feels like the 14 years together didn't even happen.

My ring finger still feels naked when I'm driving to work.

I think he's angry about the financial settlement of the divorce and that bothers me. It also bothers me that I'm bothered.

I have changed my address, driver's license, voter registration, etc. yet I still hear myself referring to myself as an Alaskan. It's been easier to become single than to become a Washingtonian.

Three weeks ago I had my first dream involving me meeting/dating another guy.

Beauty Treatment

Have you ever shaved your feet?

So I'm in the shower, shaving my legs. My heel itches. The pumice is by the sink getting cleaned. The razor is in my hand.

Why not scratch with a razor? I'll be careful. You know, my heel calouses are very annoying and pumiceing them to death does not seem to help. Would a razor take of that little outer layer of skin cells? OMG, this actually shaves off little layers of skin - and no pain!

OK - it was a weird experience but my heels look great! So I figured I could not be the first person to stumble onto this. It's probably some ancient swedish art.

So I mentioned this to my mom who laughed and said that I was definately not the first one to use this technique. It's apparently quite popular in Europe but it's illegal here since you can really mess up your foot. Or at least you have to have a specially licensed podiatrist do it.

I am a lawbreaker! Such a new thing for me. =-)


I think my roommate is going to move out. She left a note on my computer this morning.
"When I get home tonight I would like to talk with you. Its important."

I hate that. Why tell me you need to talk? Just come home and talk!

And I know I shouldn't get all bent our of shape over a note. It would be fine if she moved out. But just that stupid not triggers all this stressing over things *that don't matter*. Is she mad at me? Have I done something wrong?

Arrrgh! She is not a person of emotional consequence to me so why should I care what she thinks?! Logic still does not over-rule my illogical thoughts. Sigh.

Monday, June 20, 2005


There are times I really hate being a girl.

Like that "time of the month" and retreating to the restroom every hour on the hour to "take care of business".

You know, just general times like that.

Tough Interview

I'm so glad this happened in Scotland. It really couldn't happen here, right?

Saeed Akbar, 35, began the interview with a 25-year-old female applicant fully clothed. But at one point he left the room and returned wearing only his birthday suit and clutching a clipboard.

When the appplicant refused to strip as well, Akbar put his clothes back on and attempted to continue the interview as normal. The woman, however, fled in terror and reported the incident to police.

Akbar initially told police his strip was a consensual "role play" as part of his "tough interviewing technique".

Exactly what school do you go to to learn this kind of "interviewing technique"? Hmmmm?

What really gets me is the judge's take on this.

"On the one hand, I have to take into account the distress which you caused your victim. On the other hand, I have to take into account the catastrophic effect this incident has had on your life. You have suffered severely as a result of your actions."

In the States the sentance probably would have been similar. What I don't get is the judge giving the consequences of such an outlandish act equal weight to punishment by law. It almost seems like if the idiot hadn't lost his job, partner, friends, etc., the judge would have given a harsher sentance. Weird.

Thursday, June 16, 2005


How is it that the computer I used in the old office had all the right cords and connections and the computer in the new office is completely missing one cord and a female connection?!?!


The boxes were driving me nuts. It doesn't matter that her brother just died and she inheirited all his crap. The fact is more stuff keeps piling into the "storage" room and I no longer have room to think. Remember the grand plan? Well, it's no longer working.

So we flip flopped her room and the study. She gets a big bedroom with lots of storage space and I get a study that I can actually enjoy working in.

So we started moving stuff Monday evening and she got all her stuff moved in Tuesday (her day off). Mom came over last night to help me arrange my new domain. Now I get to go through boxes and figure out how to store my stuff out-of-sight. That'll take until the weekend...

All this to say I've come to realize I'm completely internet dependent. Two days of being unplugged has sent me panting to my work computer to get my fix.

Memorable? Posts

So do you mentally post to your blog?

I'm often find myself composing a blog post about some event that I've just witnessed. The posts are always insightful, poignant, entertaining, slightly ascerbic and delightfully witty.

Yet these posts never seem to make it to my site. I mentally compose them and then seem to loose the entire post with the next thought. Or I jot a note and later can't decifer it. Or I actually sit down to write and realize what I've written is not insightful, poignant, entertaining, slightly ascerbic or even delightfully witty.

So is there a phantom blog roll in the sky that contains the best of my work?

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Peeping Thong Video

I laughed 'til tears ran down my cheeks and I almost peed my pants!

Check out this Girls Behaving Badly video clip and get a free thong!

Thanks to Wildwriter for the link.

Friday, June 10, 2005

So Many Good Things

Living in the Lower 48 has distinct advantages. Like shopping - and sales - and getting $130 worth of clothes for $45. Sweet!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Zip, zap

Little shocks every time I move. Even sitting still my nose and cheeks tingle - kindof like the feeling just before you sneeze. Stairs are a nightmare - shocks on every movement compounded by the force of the climb.

This is not fun.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Puppies all better

So everything seems to be coming out normally among the canine family members. Yeah! Seby still has a few more days of antibiotics but seems like we're through the worst of it.

Remember that my roommate and I had talked and agreed on the strict diet for the dogs? Well last night she let Seby into her room. Then a few minutes later she peeks her head into her room and starts sweetly, nicely, gently calling Seby.

I bolt off the couch. "Is Seby eating in your room?!?" "Yes, I think he has something." (Me calling very sternly and not sweetly) "Seby, come!" Seby trots out with his tail between his legs and a doggie treat of some sort in his mouth. I take away the treat while swearing under my breath.

I swear - I'm going to give my blasted roommate my $200 vet bill and make her pay it!!


Grrrrrrr. I am so ready to be off these meds!

Remember the little fiasco before? So I took the docs advise and started tapering off much more slowly. First split the 75mg into 37.5mg. Then split the 37.5mg.

Only this isn't as easy as it sound. See, Effexor comes in capsules. And the capsules are filled with little white balls of potentcy. Which means when you pry apart the capsule and attempt to dump out the undesired dose, you inevitably end up with little white beads running around the counter.

So now I'm down to a dozen little balls inside the capsule every-other-day. What is that - like 7.32452398452mg? And I'm still experiencing shocks, dizziness, etc. Will this stuff *ever* let me go??!?!?!??