Friday, December 30, 2005

Pictures of Marriage

So I "found" the boxes of photo albums when dug out the Christmas deco. I emailed my former husband and asked if he wanted some of the photos. He said yes.

So now that it's time to put the Christmas deco away, I got out the photo boxes. I just spent a couple hours going through 14 years of photo memories and pulling out ones for him to keep.

I was all prepared for this to be another "processing and moving on" moment. I had the kleenex box at hand, music playing, chapstick at the ready.

Not a single tear. Some regrets and a few laughs but that was it. Am I stone? Or is this just me? I'm thinking it's just me and I'm liking it even if I'm not quite sure of myself.

The process was both easier and harder than I thought. Every solo picture of him - in the box. Any picture of Melissa, even if I'm in it, - in the box. Pictures of the two of us - not unless a really important event. Wedding picts went in - didn't quite know how to handle those. None of the sappy cards we used to exchange. None of the love notes. I kind of tried to pick stuff I thought Curt (his SO) would want to see (or laugh at).

Harder were pictures of events and scenery. Do you want the college BBQ picture? (in the box) How about flora from our carribean cruises (not so much). Do you want a picture of the two of us if thats the only pictoral representation of the event - like the cruises? (some yes, some no).

Worse were pictures of his family. At first I put all the pictures of his family - parents, siblings, spouses, nieces - in his box. But then I started realizing I really like these people and I want to keep some. That was the hardest. Does he get that years school pictures of the nieces? How about the annual Thanksgiving/Christmas card family photo. (I did put all the pictures of his grandparents in the box. heh, heh).

Well, for better or worse it's done (what a choice of phrases!). I hope he knows this was all done with the best of intentions and doesn't judge my selections to harshly.

I have Questions

Do puppies wet the bed?

This is a serious question. 'Cause when I awoke at 0-dark-thirty this morning, I couldn't decide if I was disturbed from slumber because Seby was stubbornly positioned between my ankles and refused to move even though I wanted to turn over and needed leg room or because I thought the sheets felt funny/cold.

I eventually got up to investigate. Did Seby sweat through the sheets? Is he ok? Can a little dog even sweat enough to make a small circle much less a very large and very wet circle?

Did my dog pee on my bed and then curl up and go to sleep right on top of it? Ewww! Why?! Why is he not acting guilty?? Why is he sleeping on the spot?? Why do I have to be putting my nose to my sheets at 0-dark-thirty in the morning?????

And how does one sleep through a dog standing at your feet and whizzing on your sheets?

Thursday, December 29, 2005

and the next day...

So I talked to my boss today about The Issue.

I should pause here to say I really like my boss and he's a very good guy to work with.

During the conversation he was very low key. He kept asking why the issue came up, why it's never come up before, and why did the issue come up. I don't think he was really thrilled that the only reason the issue came up is because his persistent HR person made the issue come up... oh well.

Funny thing is, in my initial interview, he asked me what I would do if I found unethical behavior at the company. I responded that I would bring the issue and possible resolutions to his attention.

During our conversation today, I reminded my boss of this question. His response was that The Issue was not an ethical one - it's a legal one. My verbal response was that if I didn't bring the issue up, then it would be an ethical issue for me personally. And inwardly I'm thinking if the company keeps being told its doing something wrong, and chooses not to change then it is an ethical issue!

Anyway, my boss does not yet see the seriousness of the issue or the legal/financial ramifications. Then again, I've had months to think this through and I just told him today.

He is hoping the lawyers will yet tell us we're working with a loophole. That would be nice.

So here's hoping we get good news from the lawyers some time next week. Thank you all for your comments and support.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005


So - did you ever have an ethical dilemma at work?

Yeah - I'm in the middle of one. I'm doing the ethical thing and will be telling my boss of the situation and my recommendation (he's on vacation until Tuesday). Problem is there is No Way the resolution of this issue won't cost the company money. This issue has the potential for becoming one of those things-to-never-do cases you read about in HR textbooks.

Worst case scenario for me? I could lose my job.

At the least, I think I will quickly become A Very Unpopular Person.

Best case scenario? My boss shakes my hand, looks me in the eye and thanks me for bringing this issue to the companies attention and then we work side by side to deal with the fall-out.

Here's hoping.

Savage Chickens

Coping with joy....

(Thanks to Heidi for turning me on to this site.)

Monday, December 26, 2005


OK - admit it - we all love getting gifts. Even us adults. Our gifts just cost proportionately more (ie "big boy's toys...") or proportionately less (a child's drawing) than the gifts to the short people (ie kids) among us.

So what was your best piece of loot?

I have two. My parents gave me an Oral B electric toothbrush. Very adult, very cool. And I received several gift cards that will help me get my new foster kids room set up. Very, very cool.

And you?

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

Peace to our hearts, our families, our communities, our nation and our world.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Self Portrait

Tessa - Self Portrait

Friday, December 23, 2005

Young Artist


by Tessa, age 10

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Chronicals of Narnia

I just went and saw The Chronicals of Narnia - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

Amazing! Fabulous! Thrilling, entertaining and fantastic!

I encourage all my reader's to go see this movie!

I've loved the Chronicals for a long time and have read the series multiple times. While not exactly like the book, this movie made me feel like I felt when I read the book. So much matched my imagination and, better yet, the movie actually filled in some fuzzy imagination pictures. I may just go see it again!

I'm blushing

It's Tuesday night. I settle into bed and begin to read.

Suddenly, I can't breathe - there's a weight on my chest - I have a huge knot of fear in my stomach... I left the candle burning in my office at work!

I turn over and partially sit up to try and catch my breath - I really was having a hard time breathing. And the rationalization starts...

"I didn't leave the candle burning - that would be stupid! I can't call 'cause then I'd really look stupid! I always blow out the candle. Did I blow out the candle? New candle - gift from a co-worker...did I blow it out???"

So I sit on my bed for what felt like eons trying to calm myself down. "This is just a panic attack. It's not real. You know how to deal with this." "OMG - what if the office is burning right now!!" "I remember the candle going out... but then I relit do I remember the candle going out or actually blowing it out?"

Lately I've been working on listening to myself and learning to trust my thoughts, intuitions, etc. Somehow I seem to have lost this skill. So as I am panicing, I'm also thinking "listen to yourself; trust yourself; if you're reacting this strongly it's probably with good reason."

So what's a girl to do? She calls her mother, of course!

Mom was all for calling to get someone to check on the situation. She even offered to drive the 30 minutes to go check with me. And since I work in HR, I have the only key to my office except my boss, the President of the Company. Not going to call him to go check the stupid candle!!!

So I decide to call a plant supervisor who lives just a couple blocks away. He's very gracious and gives me the after hours number and tells me to call back if I need him to go to the plant (again, won't work 'cause of the door lock...).

I call the shift leader. He laughs good naturedly and says he'll check and get back to me. In the meantime my hyper-sensitive fear of getting into trouble is running rampant. Is my boss going to hear? Will I get in trouble? Will the Plant Manager hear and make an issue? In the close-knit group of the production employees, will everyone eventually hear and I'll be teased mercilessly? Teasing isn't too bad - getting yelled at is horrid.

So the shift leader calls back and says he was busy so he sent another employee (Supervisor, leader and employee all know - Good Grief!). Couldn't see any candle through the window into my office. Everything looks ok. Whew!

I call my mom and relay the news and freak out about getting into trouble. She reassures me. After all, what boss wouldn't be pleased that the employee risked discipline to keep the business safe? Good point Mom.

I finally lay back down. I can breathe but the tension in my stomach is only somewhat subdued. No burning - yeah! Potential trouble - boo!

This definately rates up there as one of the most embarrasing moments I've ever had at work. And for the curious neither my boss nor the plant manager have said anything which I hope means they didn't hear anything. The shift leader did see me the next day and gave me some gentle ribbing. But then he also told me a personal story about having to leave work to check and see if he closed a cattle gate. That was sweet of him.

So moral of the story?
* Rethink the whole candle at work thing
* Do listen to yourself. But yourself is still in training and obviously falliable.
* This probably wasn't as big a deal to everyone else as it was to me in the middle of a panic attack!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Updating the Update

I got the key out!!!!!

'Course I don't know if the key will come out after I drive to work tomorrow...

But for tonight the thieves will have to resort to hot-wiring! =-)


Key's still stuck. Mechanic can't get me in until Tuesday. Has no idea how much it will cost until they look at it. Car still sits locked at night with the key in the ignition. I have a slight panic attack each morning that the car will no longer be there.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Science Rocks

Twinkle, twinkle little star
You're a ball of gas that's very far.

32 light years in the sky,
10 parsecs which is really high!

Helium, carbon and hy-dro-gen
fuse to make our starry friend.

When it enters supernova stage
It explodes with bursts of rays.

And if the star's mass is big and bold
It will become a big black hole!

I keep hearing this commercial on the radio and I think it's great! I've got more in my brain about stars after this little ditty than from Jr. High science!

This is part of the Girls-Go-Tech campaign to encourage girls in math and science.
Studies show that by age 12, most girls lose interest in math, science and
technology and their chance at most future jobs. Girls Go Tech is an initiative
to encourage girls to develop an early interest in these subjects and,
ultimately, maintain that interest as they grow up to help ensure a more
diverse, dynamic, and productive workforce in the future.

When I was in late elementary/Jr. High, I found my grade school report cards. I remember being very pleased with myself as I noted my great grades. Then I got to third grade and the teacher remarked I wasn't doing well in math. I don't remember exactly what the comment was, but it made enough of an impression that I believed myself to be a lower performing math/science person. And that stuck with me all the way through college.

Any encouragement for girls to delve into math and science at all ages is a very good thing.

There are more tv/radio commercials on the site.

Bleep, bleep, bada-bleep

My *!$?* car key is stuck in the ignition of my car...since last night.

Numerous inquiries to the male species at work and a visit from a friendly mechanic co-worker have all resulted in the same conclusion/advise: the key's really stuck in there and you need to take it to a shop so they can uncover, pull, prod, release, drop out, poke, pry and otherwise get me back my key.

Which all sounds very expensive to me.


Sunday, December 18, 2005

Ho hum humdrum

So I was thinkin' about what to post and realized - not much!

The week's been, well, a week. Went to work, got some stuff done. Had several organization appointments. Yeah!

We had a nasty freezing rain on Thursday. I actually fishtailed once or twice. Funny thing was, that actually made me feel a bit nostalgic for AK! =-)

Well, a happy weekend to you all!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005


I got to exchange my gift card from the company party with one that I can really use! $100 to Fred Meyer!! and it's all going to be used to get the bedroom set up for foster care...

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


I'm in a pissy mood. I don't like feeling this way so I'm trying to figure out why I feel like lashing out at everyone...

... is it because Stephanie didn't win Survivor?

... because my roommate did another, little, stupid thing that shouldn't annoy me but does?

... maybe because I helped plan a great company party but I always feel a huge let down afterwards even though the party was a success?

... is it because I bought $100 gift certificates for everyone at the party but didn't get the one I wanted?

I am such a small person.....

And all that in spite of some really good things...

... very productive weekend - got lots done

... finally finished my foster care license application and turned it in

... think I've found a way to survive without my roommate so that means I could use that room for the foster kids - all in all, a very happy thought!

... I got lots and lots of positive compliments on the work Christmas party table decorations, gift certificate selection and such.

... I'm getting a brand-new, never been used, washer and dryer for practically nothing!

OK - maybe I'm feeling a bit better. Venting my spleen to my sweet blog audience seems to be good for me...

Thanks guys!

Sunday, December 11, 2005


They are sooo cute and such a handful! My nieces Rori and Cadee...


My brother is in the Navy and recently returned from a long stint at sea. This picture of his reunion with his daughters brought tears to my eyes...

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Big Pay - Big Bonus

So if fast food is your career of choice, you really should move to New Orleans. Burger King is offering a $6,000 (!) hiring bonus. Regular readers will note I recently received a bonus but it was definately not $6,000. Maybe I should move...

... competition is fierce for entry-level employees. Whereas, on average, a receptionist usually made about $6 to $8 per hour, hourly wages have increased to $8 to $11. “You just can’t find people who will work for $6 per hour anymore,” ... Burger King’s $6,000 hiring bonus has been the talk of the town... “They come in for interviews and tell us they can’t work for less than $12 an hour or that such-and-such company is offering more, and will we match it? ...Popeyes Chicken & Biscuits raised its hourly rate across the board by $3...

Full article here.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Not Quite There Yet

Turns out, there are things even I still need to learn.

Take for example, when a 24oz glass jar of Fire Roasted Tomato and Garlic sauce rips out of the bag and plunges with a sickening, soft, sloppy crash to the parking lot pavement. Does one clean up the mess or let it go since the mess is in the common-no-man's-land parking lot? Do you let it freeze and hope no one notices? Are twinges of guilt thinking that an animal could get sick eating 24oz of Fire Roasted Tomato and Garlic sauce appropriate?

And if one attempted to clean up this type of mess with an empty Wendy's soda cup and bag, would that be considered ingenious or pathetic? And is it appropriate to be hungry for Italian and French Fries after such an experience? And does Fred Meyer owe the ill-fated shopper a new jar of spaghetti sauce since it was their bag that failed?

And mostly, I don't know, in this hypothetical type of situation, if the smartest thing to do would be to move the car at least two spaces down.

All over again

Do you ever get deja vu?

I have a recurring deja vu experience (which is, I realize, redundant). I'm sitting at my desk at work and I have the stongest desire to watch the Witchblade series intro. For those who missed it, this was a kick-ass, awesome, short-lived series about a female cop who "inherits" a bracelet that turns into a sword (or other deadly weapon) in times of need. I loved Yancy Butler at Sara Pezzini - tough, sexy, bitchin' female heros are hard to come by!

Anyway, here I am doing paperwork and again that funny feeling - time to pull out the VHS and watch the intro episode. Of course, such thoughts are completely gone as soon as I switch tasks and definately gone once I get home.

I have no idea what is triggering this sort of deja vu, memory, day-dream, want-to-watch type experience. Very weird. I'll have to see if I can pin point the trigger.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Rabbit, Rabbit

So I was over visiting TLP and everyone and their brother was rabbit, rabbit-ing. I didn't get this bunny love fest though I think I remember Valette mentioning the rabbit, rabbit thing on her blog at one point...

Anyway, Wikipedia to the rescue!
"Rabbit rabbit" is a common superstition, held particularly among children. The most common modern version states that a person should say "rabbit, rabbit" upon waking on the first day of each new month, and on doing so will receive good luck for the remainder of that month.
So to all my child-like friends, Rabbit rabbit!

Real Winter

To all my Alaskan friends,

To you, this picture is no big deal. To those who live in the desert, snow is a really big deal. Two inches is a big enough deal the create panicked conversations at work about the driving conditions and rampant speculation on the company's bad weather policy and the possibility of car-pooling with the former Alaskan in the morning.

I might actually have to wear socks and a coat tomorrow.

the former Alaskan

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Family Time

Grandpa (Dad's dad) was here for Thanksgiving. At 92 he's moving better than some 50 year old's I know (not meaning my roommate, really). He flew in from Ohio last Wednesday and left on Tuesday. It was a nice visit - I got to eat dinner at my parent's every night! =-)

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