Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Practice in real life

I'm in a life coaching class called MOVE. The class is different than anything I've ever done before because it is so focused on our actions and the real-life application of what we do.

So tonight we were reviewing communication habits and practicing ways to communicate differently. One of the guys showed up without his girlfriend. Which I was glad to see. Don't mean to be unchairitable but she's a serious drama queen, not very bright, completely in the victim role and wants all the attention on her. And she's been getting more disruptive in class as we've learned to stay focused on our goals and the current exercise (thus ignoring her).

So BF is here alone and 10 minutes into class she comes storming in. "I don't want to interrupt class but..." and she gestures for BF to go see her. He doesn't come right away so she flies back and bangs on the window and he gives in and goes to her. Class continues as they (she) screams and argues in the parking lot for about 20 minutes. Apparently she is having a back emergency and needs to go the ER - even though this happened two days ago and she could have gone any time during the day.

He comes back, she interrups again. He gets ready to leave and the class calls him on his actions. She is completely manipulating the situation, creating drama, and he's doing what he's always done, placating.

So he sits back down and as a class we really get into the communication of the situation and try to work out alternatives. We've all been in similar patterns even if not quite so dramatic a fashion so it was a real-time example of what we were trying to learn in class.

In the meantime, she's going ballistic. Through the window I see her driving crazy around the parking lot, flashing her headlights, charging toward the building (!) before throwing on the breaks, blowing the horn - on and on and on.

I'm thinking - good grief woman! If you have to go to the ER, go already!! But this was obviously not about the ER.

So class is discussing and using the principles being illustrated to relate to situations in their own lives and the police show up. This woman is going off so brilliantly that someone calls the cops on her!

So the cops talk to her, talk to the BF, try to get it settled. I felt sorry for the BF. He's trying to change and be a better communicator, she doesn't like it, then he needs to deal with the police. the police get her calmed down and advise him to drive them both home. So he does.

We finish the class with a recap and a flourish.

What a night!

Monday, August 29, 2005

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Jill Neal's Wild (but tasteful) Women

I first saw Jill Neal's work at the Arts Fair last year. I fell in love with the wonderful women she depicted. I loved them for their size, their enthusiasm, their humor.

I didn't purchase any at the time but I went back this year and she had a booth again. I bought 8 different small prints. Someday I'll have enough dough to get them all framed.

Check out her site. You'll love it! (Not all the pieces I chose are on the site but a few are. I'll let you guess which ones!)

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Saturday, August 27, 2005

So this is the crew at my house on a Saturday. Sigh. The life of a furry creature is quite nice. Posted by Picasa


Yeah, I should have posted this in the beginning of the week but didn't so...

Wednesday was such a great day! I can't remember when I felt so good about the day I was having. I was up extra early to attend a business networking meeting where I gave a short (10 min) presentation on what I do. Nice questions and feedback from the group.

Then I met with a lifecoach I'm working with and had a really great session focusing on goals for the next two months.

Then I had an organizing appointment helping a guy get his car organized since it basically functions as a traveling office.

Then I went and met with a new friend I met in the life coaching group class. He's a great listener and I got to talk through the incident with T I posted about earlier. So great to talk and decompress.

I went to work in the best of moods!


So I learned that my former husband is now legally domestic partners with the guy he moved to be with in California.

I must admit this has thrown me a bit for a loop. 1 - he said he was leaving because I was sick and he wasn't going to pursue a gay lifestyle. Obviously that changed in the past year. Since the change process happened without me (duh!), I just have these two reference points - leaving me, getting together with this other guy. No big judgements - just really weird. And lots of questions about the process.

Then, 2, I'm not even considering dating yet and he's already "hitched"! =-)

I can only imagine what his loving yet conservative family must be thinking. His grandparents are probably rolling over in their graves and they're not even dead yet!! =-)

There were a lot of really great things about my marriage and our relationship. Yet on the whole it seems we kept each other from growth - almost like we brought out the weakest side in each other. I hope this relationship is much more positive for him.

Poor Man's (illegal) furniture

Have you heard about this guy yet? Out-of-money dude moves and needs a desk for his computer. He builds one out of FedEx boxes. Very creative!

Builds more furniture. Gets a website and posts pictures. Legal action ensues. Very amusing!

Monday, August 22, 2005

Follow Up

I didn't realize how upset I was by all this until I tossed and turned all night, forgot about one morning appointment which made me late for the second appointment. This seems to have really gotten to me.

So for the rest of the story... When T (the child) first came to me we were able to sit down and talk. I think I said alot of the right things. We made a plan if he ever came back (inside = run to her room, hide and call the police; outside=come to my house and we call the police together). We talked about how she was not big enough to deal with him - she wouldn't be safe. Made her promise to never let a man do that to her even if she loves him with all her heart and to the tips of her toes. Talked about not keeping this secret (she was embarrassed her friend knew) - this is not a good secret to keep - telling others means there's more people to help and keep her safe.

At that time her mom was not going to go to the police. We talked about how her mom probably felt embarrassed but if this ever happened to T she needed to tell the police. Later in the evening I talked with her mom and mom had just returned from the police station. Yeah!

So T was feeling better and asked to go get friends and play a game. She came back with another kid friend, B. Unfortunately B was with T and they both walked in on T's mom after the attack. This was really new to B. I had her call her mother then I talked to B's mother. Then we three sat down to a game.

It was a strange game as the conversation alternated between game talk and "her shirt was all bloody" and "I just want to punch him back".

T's mom had called her brother over so T's cousin joined the game shortly thereafter. My roommate came home. I gave her a short update and the girls asked the roommate to join the game so we went to a five person game.

T's aunt popped her head in and asked if I would watch the girls while they went back to the house to get overnight stuff. T's mom had asked her brother and family to stay the night for safety and comfort. So all five (T, B, the cousin, the roommate and me!) of us sat down to dinner.

T's mom and family were gone quite awhile - turns out they aunt/uncle had talked the mom into filing a report. When T's mom came to the door to pick up the girls she told me she had gone to the police. I had no problem with watching them so she could do that!

So that's the story so far. T was doing much better when she went home. I feel so privledged that I was a safe person she could come to in a time of crisis. How precious is that?!

So now I get to try and concentrate here at work. I do believe my morning break is over. =-)

Sunday, August 21, 2005


oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.... This only happens to to others...I thought.

One of my kid-friends just came to me crying because she witnessed her mother's ex-boyfriend punch her mom across the room.

How do you explain to a kid that her ideas of finding and punching the guy are noble but inappropriate, dangerous, wrong, etc???? What do you say to a child who's witnessed violence more than once when she asks "why me? why my family?"

Going to go play a game and cheer up/distract the child. Will process more later...

Friday, August 19, 2005

Spiritual Snooze

Soul not quite up to snuff? Don't tell your employer! Especially if you're Carlos Santana's personal assistant. You might just get your ass fired right here on earth.

Apparently not only must you have skills, you must also be "spiritually calibrated" to the right frequency and if you happen to have "low consciousness" well, too bad for you.

Ya know, I've heard of getting fired for sleeping on the job (lack of consciousness) but just a low consciousness??

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Tag meme

Bossco provided this tag and I haven't done one in ages so here goes...

10 Years Ago Today...
Hmmm, 24 years old, just graduated from college a few months ago. What a relief! Hubby and I agreed to house-sit for a doctor who had a huge house - no rent for a whole year!! Searching for a job. Finally found one working as a dental assistant. Yup, fresh out of college and I sucked spit for a living.

5 years Ago Today...
Hmmm, 2000, we're out of school... I think at this point I'm working for the Chamber of Commerce as the Executive Assistant. Hubby is the assistant pastor of music at First Baptist. We have no idea what's coming down the road...

1 year ago today...
Still in shock from hubby's departure and imminent divorce. Still without a job. I have no idea what joy and pain and growth the next year is about to bring...

Hung out with neighbor kids, went to a picnic and met some new people, felt sorry for myself and got over it, balanced my bank accounts, watched a really bad movie.

Work at a job I love! Meet with a client - Yeah! Grocery shopping.

5 Snacks I Enjoy...
1. Popcorn and Diet Coke
2. Ice cream and Diet Coke
3. Tortilla chips, beans and cheese and Diet Coke
4. Pita chips, ranch and Diet Coke
5. Pistachios and Diet Coke

5 Bands That I Know Most of the Lyrics to Their Songs
1. U2
(That's about it. Listen mostly to the radio.)

5 Things I Would Do With a Cool Mill
1. Pay off all debt
2. Build or buy a house with bedrooms for all my kids
3. Generous gifts to my family - completely spoil my nieces and godson
4. Emergency Fund/Investments
5. Adopt

5 Locations I Would Like To Run Away To
Renamed 5 places I want to go to on a cruise....
1. Down the west coast of South America to Antarctica
2. East coast of South America and the Amazon River
3. Pacific cruise including Hawaii, Japan, China, Hong Kong, Austrailia, New Zealand, etc.
4. European cruise
5. Trans-atlantic voyage

5 Bad Habits I Have
1. Overeating
2. Talking myself into depression and frustration
3. Think about doing but never getting to the doing
4. Failing to signal when changing lanes
5. Allowing my roommate to always do the dishes and take out the trash (we don't have to want to change these bad habits, right?!)

5 Things I Like Doing
1. Hanging with the neighborhood kids
2. Planning things
3. Watching TV
4. Reading
5. Beading and wire work

5 Things I Would Never Wear
1. Lycra/spandex as day wear
2. Short shorts
3. Midrift bearing tops
4. Heavy weight cords
5. Gouchos/ponchos

5 TV Shows I Like(d)
1. X-Files
2. StarGate (including Atlantis)
3. 6 Feet Under
4. Will and Grace
5. Extreme Makeover Home Edition

5 Movies I Like
1. Like Water for Chocolate
2. Lagaan
3. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
4. Center Stage; Save the Last Dance; dance movies in general
5. Miss Congeniality I and II

5 Famous People I Would Like to Meet
Not too much into the fame thing....

5 Biggest Joys at the Moment
1. Being close to my parents
2. Being a friend to some great kids
3. Being the boss of myself
4. Recent weight loss
5. Rereading all the Harry Potter books

5 Favorite Toys
1. Laptop and Internet
2. Books
3. DVR
4. Noodles (pool floaties)
5. Go For Broke (game)

5 People to Tag
Assuming they aren't going to kill me...
1. Joat
2. Knottyboy
3. Valette (though already tagged by Bossco)

Monday, August 08, 2005


My godson Mario was here!!! He, his mom Laura, and his grandparents are driving from Alaska to Texas. Laura is a Captain in the Air Force and is relocating to a new base.

It's been ages since I've seen them last and I've been looking forward to this visit for months. They called Sunday morning and we got to spend all day together. It was great! (Though I will say that after 12 hours of focused play with a 6-year-old boy I'm wiped out!) We fed the ducks in the park, spent 3 hours (!) in the pool, and went to the Playground of Dreams.

My godson has always been big for his age but I was suprised to see how tall he's grown. He just finished Kindergarten, is 6 years old, 4'10" and 95 pounds! The child is going to grow to NBA height!

The swimming pool was great fun as I got to watch him gain confidence in the water. Three years ago he lived in Tx and loved the water. But that was a long time ago. He doesn't yet swim so he wore a life vest for the first while. Then we progressed to jumping with the vest on, then jumping without the vest onto noodles and then to jumping without warning. The last part wasn't so cool as he doesn't yet do a great job of resurfacing after said jump.

On a side note, his mom and I now know Mario as a "three noodle kid". Noodles are great fun and I've seen kids and adults both enjoy relaxing as the float on one. With only one noodle, Mario still sank. I swear, his muscle is more dense than normal. Anyway, with two noodles, he was keeping his head up but three noodles was definately the comfortable way to go. That's alot of floatation for one kid!

We had a wonderful time. Laura and I didn't get a chance to talk much as Mario kept our attention on him but hopefully we'll get to yak more over email. They left this morning for Oregon to visit great-grandma prior to California to visit family and go to Disneyland. I miss them already.

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Friday, August 05, 2005

All I Want for Christmas...



Rose Garden, Portland, OR
Mon, Dec 19, 2005 07:30 PM

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Job requirement

I just created a job description for my company that listed, as a job requirement, "Proven organoleptic and sensory evaluation skills."

The Unexpected

I can't believe it - my bossed just pranked me!

I brought a document into his office for his signature. He looked for a pen. I saw one on the desk and handed it to him. He kept looking for a pen and said "Try that one. See if it works." I depressed the clicker and got a nifty little shock in my thumb!

He turned red laughing and appologizing at the same time.

That was too funny. I can't believe he did that! He said the pen's been on his desk for six months and no one had yet asked for a pen. Lucky me. =-)

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Pink whiskers

I looked at Seby this morning and just grinned. He had pink whiskers!

I don't know what it is lately about waking up to puppy messes on the floor.... Yesterday morning I woke up and saw about 1/2 dozen puke spots on the floor. And while I was cleaning, Seby puked twice more so I'm pretty sure I know who the culprit is.

Well, my vet once told me that you can use people medicine on dogs - just treat them like babies and dose according to weight. Pukey dog equals Pepto Bismol - right?!?

He didn't want to take it so I had to force feed the poor guy. But he hasn't tossed his cookies since then so it worked, right? =-)

Monday, August 01, 2005

Understanding the Reason

When I was a temp, I worked for a company who was working on a personnel policy. It was going very slow. I'm going to go see the boss today and see if they still need one done and see if they'll be one of my trial clients.

That is the only reason I can think of for feeling so sick to my stomach I'm gagging every few minutes in between trips to the restroom.

Anticipation of rejection is a bitch.