Monday, April 25, 2005

Disapointment/Depression

I've realized something. Probably something you already knew. But still, it was new to me so it's significant.

I was driving home and I started feeling IT again - the darkness, despair, loss of hapiness - Depression. OMG, I thought, I'm starting to spiral down again.

And then it came - this great, glorious epiphany - I wasn't depressed - I was disappointed!

Now this may seem quite odd to be so excited about being disappointed. But for the first time ever, I looked at the familiar feelings and realized they were not indicative of a past recurring. They were just similar to another, heretofore unrecognized, emotion - disappointment.

I previously purchased some great prints at a 90% off store closing sale. I had been watching the paper for a framing sale at Michael's. The long-awaited ad came out Sunday. So I showered, gathered a few prints and went to the store. Sad to say, even at an awesome 70% off sale, it was still out of my budget. Very hard to deal with because I reallllly want to put up those prints. But I had also just done my checkbook and realized I needed to live more within the budget and less with the plastic.

So here I am, driving home, dealing with the age old conflict of desire vs. responsibility. And it hits me - I'm disapointed with the results of this trip.

And I continued driving home happy as a clam that I had an epiphany about disapointment. =-)

5 comments:

Knottyboy said...

Buyers remorse is a big deal when you live close to your budget. No "mad" cash to spend on a little gift for yourself. Best thing is to say ok, I went wild today but lets keep this in check in the future. But there will always be little things you want to brighten up your home, so don't torture yourself if its something that you'd really enjoy.
k

Klondike Kate said...

Ya mean the entire paycheck isn't "mad cash"? =-)

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