Only for family would I do this...

Just for Valette. Happy Birthday! "Put your well-manicured left foot in.."

Labia piercing for boys

This was hillarious - and not for the prudish or squeemish!

Fear factor

Starting a new business in a new state was intimidating for one reason - taxes. Alaska is wonderfully tax-free. Apparently everywhere else isn't.

So I procrastinated until the last day (today) and figured out how to use the e-file system. Turns out I had to fill in one - count them one - entry and that was it.

And since I made such a pathetic amount my first year I didn't even owe any tax!

Suprising parent

I've really enjoyed being closer to my parents. One, my mother feeds me an awful lot - and it's all healthy. Probably the only vegetables I eat in the week. Two they have a great big screen TV. And three, in my new currently single state, there's nothing like family support and hugs.

So that sappy tribute aside, Mom was in the hospital overnight after surgery so (naturally) Dad and I went to dinner. On the way there Dad mentioned when he had had a bit part in a play in college. What - my dad had an inclination toward theatre?!?!? So apparently he build sets and run lights the first two years in HS and a bit in college and - get this - in Austin, Tx after college where he met my mom. He decided to get involved in community theatre to meet people.

This is a whole new side to my dad. Picturing him as a young college grad, in a new city, trying to make friends, choosing the theatre - it's very mind blowing and cool at the same time.

Classic update

I love this!

(Thanks to Valette)

Self Appointed

It's official. Do you know which one? =-)

Toxic Air

A fertilizer plant in the next town caught fire when an employees truck, parked inside, caught fire (that dude is soooo fired!). Anyway, the chemical fire cannot be smothered with water b/c that would cause additional air pollution and runoff into a nearby stream. And they can't smother it with fire retardant 'cause you mix the fire department stuff with the fertilizer stuff and you have a potential for an explosion. Can you say fertilizer bomb?

So the road was closed for about a day but unfortunately the closed area was right after my exit to work. So I still had to go in. The air smelled lovely and it gave me a headache. I should get workers comp.

such an idiot

So I bought a great AT&T phone system about 2 months ago from Costco. It has an answering machine with three mailboxes and four cordless phones and their own charger/bases. Very cool.

So 1 goes to the entry, one by the couch, one by my desk and one in my bedroom. So I notice odd things about the bedroom phone - never charges completely, always blinking.... so I switch it out with another set. Works fine for awhile then dies again. So I'm without a phone in the bedroom.

So finally I start thinking about using the warranty when the phone starts working! Timing! Then it dies again. Then I walk into my bedroom and notice the blinking light of doom on the phone, again. I switch on the lights and something is odd. The blinking light of doom goes off.

OMG - I've plugged the phone into the only outlet that's controlled by the light switch at the door. I am such an airhead!

Thought for the day

My new favorite quote:

"Life should not be measured by how many breaths we take, but by what takes our breath away."
Carl Sagan

So, what took your breath away this week?

Moving!

I'm moving to a new apartment next month. My lease is up in the current place and before renewing I thought I'd check out other options.

Now I hate moving so the incentive would have to be pretty big.

I found a three bedroom place for $25 less per month than the current 2 bedroom place. Now that's incentive.

The master bedroom closet has the washer/dryer hookups (?!) so the big bedroom will be storage, my study/office and laundry room. The middle, small bedroom will be for my roommate and the front, slightly bigger room will be mine.

The kitchen and living room are much bigger with room for two peoples food and kitchen utensils. And the front room has beautiful vaulted ceilings. So I think this will be a good thing.

Sad Moment

There are lots of things I miss about being married and specifically about my husband.

Like how he used to call me at work in the afternoon just to say hi.

That was so cool.

Euphamisms

I've heard many names for the penis. Some are formal such as "male member". Some are personal as when a man names his male member. Yesterday I heard a new one that I thought was hysterical...

Dingle.

That's it - just dingle. You have to giggle - I mean, really?!!

Exactly what kind of man has a dingle?

And how does dingle stack up to such other great penis names such as schlong, dick, cock, pecker and love muscle?

The new job

The new job is great! I really love being back in HR. And the office is a mess which is frustrating now but also exciting because I get to *organize*. Now some of you are yawning and nodding off but I really love organizing so I see it as lots of potential fun.

So I've been going through all the drawers and stuff and apparently the gal before me did nothing for two year - seriously. Everything is dated 2002 and older. How is this helpful? Employees keep asking me for benefit details and I can't answer. When are you vested in the 401k? Don't know because there is not *a single plan document*. How did she function?????

Thank goodness my trainer (called out of retirement) did tons of filing before I got on board. The trainer said the filing went back at least 1 year and some 18 months old. Geesh!

Weather Report

Weather here has been much nicer than Fairbanks - and I'm glad! Today was interesting though - I drove to work (25 miles) in freezing rain. It took 45 minutes.

At one downhill curve the traffic had come almost to a halt. I blinked my eyes several times to try and make sense of the two sided white rectangle I was seeing. Turns out that rectangle was the back end and right side of a semi with the cab completely jack-knifed out of sight. The semi was turned across both lanes of traffic and slid down the entire hill in the sideways positon.

My only regret is I didn't think to pull out my camera sooner.

Unreal Expectations

Things that should never have to be considered for elimination from the household budget:

1. Digital Cable (seriously, how do you know what's playing if you can't flip to schedule screen?)
2. High Speed Internet (dial-up? what's that?)
3. Netflix (movies are a necessary emotional food)
4. Diet Coke and Chocolate (I mean really, could the world function without this classic combo?)


Things that should be able to be eliminated from the household budget:

1. Rent (they expect payment?!? What's up with that?)
2. Electricity (candle light is so romantic)
3. Student Loan (has the education really paid me a dividend in a better salary?)
4. Car Payment (I got paperwork at the dealership - what's with this letter from the bank?)

Daylight

Note time stamp. Note mood. I am *not* a morning person.

Drug Screen

So the company sent me to pee in a cup. On demand. It took an hour.

How embarassing.

Just had to look

I just checked my resume file. I submitted my first resumes for a job in Washington while I was still in Fairbanks. First resume was sent April 1, 2004. Left Alaska May 5, 2004. Finally got a job 1/11/05. Only took 8 1/2 months. Jeepers!

Guess what????

I got the job!!! I got the job!!!! I'm employed again!!! Someone actually wanted to hire me!!! I am the new Human Resources Administrator at a large fruit processing plant in the area. More later but I just had to say - I got a job!!!!!!

Profile Picture

Thanks for the nice comments guys. I actually put this up here so I could have a picture in my profile. So far following the posted instructions isn't working. Grrr.