How not to do L&L:
Child is sassy. Child is given choice to go to her room or the LR - basically anywhere the parent is not. Child refuses. Parent tells the child "you may go to your room with help or without help". Child is (of course) non-compliant. Now parent must follow through. A gentle hand to the back to guide child into the room quickly becomes a physical tussel as the child (literally) digs in her heels for all she's worth.
Probably should read the book *all* the way through - they tell you not to engage in a physical choice. Sigh.
How to do L&L:
Child refuses to stay in her room at bedtime. Child is told not to worry about the consequence of such an unwise choice; mom is sure to think of something appropriate. So the next day, the mom decides that since the child prevented her from getting something done, the child can do one of the mom's jobs. So the child is given the task of cleaning the 'fridge. Mom gets a clean fridge with no fuss!
This is the greatest part - AV actually loved doing it! I assigned her to clean the door and the drawers and she ended up "organizing" the entire fridge. I had apples in gallon ziplocks neatly labled in the crisper (ziplock bags were her invention, not mine) and all the soda lined up in a pyramid "so you can grab it easier Mama". She was so proud of myself. I'm so amused and so proud of her too!