So I told my roommate that I'm terminating our rent agreement because I will be using the bedroom for foster care.
She was shocked. We talked a bit more. Her wide eyes started going back to normal. Then she switched tactics.
She proceeded to basically try and discourage me and talk me out of my decision to do foster care for the next 15 minutes.
Now I realize she doesn't like change and this was probably her way of trying to get me to change my mind. "It will be really difficult. Do you realize this is a 24-7 job? You'll have to put locks on all the doors. What are you going to do if this doesn't work out? Are you still going to work? What about your business? This isn't going to be the good thing you think it is."
Grrrr. I basically told her that I want to try, I may fail and I may fail spectacularly but I must try! And I'm not planning to fail (so no, don't think I'll ask you back to be my roommate again). I plan on succeeding.
Some general whining here - I have heard over and over how hard these kids are, how difficult this will be etc. I know I'm probably a naive, but I'm not stupid. I'm preparing as best I can. How does any parent prepare for the impact a child will have on their lives?
And yes, I'm starting as a parent with really difficult kids. But who else is going to give a traumatized child a place of shelter? These kids have been damaged but I have the opportunity to try and help them. I appreciate people wanting to make sure I'm ready and prepared and that my naivete does not further damage the child, but why not also say "thanks for taking one of our communities children" or "I'm glad you'll be there for the child" or just "good luck" or better still "good luck and call me if you need to talk or need advise"?!?
Sorry - just had to get that out of my system! =-)
8 comments:
Not everyone is going to understand. She doesn't. Do you know what you are getting into. NO. Does that mean you will fail. NO!
I told you awhile back, this is a learn as you go thing. You can do things to prepare that help, but when it comes down to it kids don't come with instuction manuals. I have been a parent for over 7 years not and I'm still learning as I go.
I'm hear if you need to talk. By the way, not everyone understands why you want to complicate your life, but remember some of us do.
Love Jenn
Thanks Jenn! I've received very nice support from my blog-friends. Seems to be the in-person situation that gives people permission to be discouraging. Thanks for the great support and I'm very sure I'll be calling you!!
I think it could also make people feel guilty that you are striving to make a difference. I don't think anyone really knows what they are getting into when they have a kid, whether one from the system or one from their own loins, and I don't think anyone is really prepared for it. But that doesn't stop people from having children and succeeding at raising them.
I think its great that your doing this and I think you'll do great. With your personality any kid is just gonna love you.
You are doing a brave thing. If you don't try you'll never know.
Anyway, your roomie is just trying to save the room for herself. She's selfish.
Of course there will be hard times with a kid! I had four kids. They have been my biggest joy, and have also provided my biggest pain. Would I do it all again? You bet!
You guys are great! Thanks so much for the encouragement!
Keep up the good work
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Enjoyed a lot! »
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