Freaky

I met a new acquaintance this weekend - possibly a new friend.

After 15 minutes we found we had the following in common:

Both into kids (she's adopted two from Brazil which is a place I always wanted to adopt from)
Both work in HR
Both moved to the area about 18 months ago
Both divorced from gay ex-husbands

I thought that was a lot of major points in common.

Contest

My roomie asked for her cleaning/damage deposit back.

I said no.

We had a staring contest.

I won.

Foster Care update

I don't have TB (I know you were worried). I might be a criminal - FBI is still checking my prints. I need to buy activated charcoal 'cause syrup of ipecac is out of style. And I need to get a fire extinquisher in case I have a pyro child.

FBI should get back to DCFS 1st week in March. Then I can schedule my home study. Then I'll be open for business!

Tech literate

My mother bought a computer.

That my mom bought an expensive computer is not a shock. That she bought a computer is a complete shock.

My mom has alway avoided technology. When she got her DVR it took me 20 minutes in person and several follow up calls to explain using the remote. She does not shop online, do email, write letters or otherwise use computers.

Mom is a talented bookkeeper and she actually knows her stuff since she's always done the books on paper. She got a new job as a bookkeeper at a doctor's office and they use QuickBooks. She's learning and is now enrolled in an on-line class.

So, since she has an online class she goes out a buys a super-douper laptop and spends a ton of money.

I think I'm really blogging about this because Mom buying an expensive computer she can't afford because she "deserves" it and "needs" it has brought some of my own patterns of spending into sharp relief.

Remember my motto for the new year? Every thing counts. Every dollar I spend has to be paid. And I realize I've had a deficit spending mentality demonstrated for me. That somehow if I "need" or "deserve" something it doesn't count. Well that's certaintly not true! =-) No excuses or blame - just some self-discovery so I can correct my bad habits.

And only under-spending can correct over-spending. Very painful.

Beds

Look what I found on Craig's List! Bunk beds - with storage - and a desk! Mattresses included!

I hope this will work well! I have to drive 4 hours to pick them up next weekend. What was I saying about looking forward to having my weekends back???

Graduation!

All done with foster training! Yeah! Lots of good stuff but I'm ready to not spend my weekends in a classroom!

My roommate found another apartment and is moving out at the end of the month! Yeah!! She's moving to a senior complex (everyone is 55 or older) and she's very happy to be around people her own age. I'm very happy too! Now that I know she's moving I'm even more annoyed about things like the stupid cat getting cat hair on my ironing board. 9 days and then I'm on my own!

So now I'm looking in earnest for all the stuff I need for kids and finishing up my requirement. First Aid training in Feb, need to do a TB test, need to get a fire extinguisher, need to get locking containers for all the medicine, need beds, etc, etc.

Thank you everyone for the comments and encouragements.

Blowing Steam

I saw my home town on CNN! Turns out the local volcano, Mt. Augustine, is going through a series of erruptions. The volcano is an island in Kachemak Bay and I used to be able to see it from my bedroom window - it was quite a view.

The volcano last errupted 20 years ago. I remember because we had horses and I had to keep emptying their water trough because so much ash fell.

Deadline

So I told my roommate that I'm terminating our rent agreement because I will be using the bedroom for foster care.

She was shocked. We talked a bit more. Her wide eyes started going back to normal. Then she switched tactics.

She proceeded to basically try and discourage me and talk me out of my decision to do foster care for the next 15 minutes.

Now I realize she doesn't like change and this was probably her way of trying to get me to change my mind. "It will be really difficult. Do you realize this is a 24-7 job? You'll have to put locks on all the doors. What are you going to do if this doesn't work out? Are you still going to work? What about your business? This isn't going to be the good thing you think it is."

Grrrr. I basically told her that I want to try, I may fail and I may fail spectacularly but I must try! And I'm not planning to fail (so no, don't think I'll ask you back to be my roommate again). I plan on succeeding.

Some general whining here - I have heard over and over how hard these kids are, how difficult this will be etc. I know I'm probably a naive, but I'm not stupid. I'm preparing as best I can. How does any parent prepare for the impact a child will have on their lives?

And yes, I'm starting as a parent with really difficult kids. But who else is going to give a traumatized child a place of shelter? These kids have been damaged but I have the opportunity to try and help them. I appreciate people wanting to make sure I'm ready and prepared and that my naivete does not further damage the child, but why not also say "thanks for taking one of our communities children" or "I'm glad you'll be there for the child" or just "good luck" or better still "good luck and call me if you need to talk or need advise"?!?

Sorry - just had to get that out of my system! =-)

Fascinating

So I'm going to a 1-day training seminar tomorrow.

The topic? Document Retention and Destruction in the Age of Electronic Documents (How document retention impacts litigation and business in the computer age).

So am I the only one who would find such a seminar interesting?

I'm actually really looking forward to it! How weird am I? =-)

Cupid Next to Me

So I go to the foster care training and take a seat at a table. Another lady sits next to me. Turns out she's a former social worker. She and her husband have a daughter and are interested in doing respite/foster care. She's taking the training while hubby is at home. Nice gal - I like her.

So class starts and everyone (twelve others), introduce themselves. Everyone is married except myself and another guy. He is looking to do foster care for teens.

My classmate leans over and starts talking about getting him and me together. WTF?!??!?? She doesn't know me, doesn't know him but is playing match-maker. Whoa.

So my classmate, me and another gal go to lunch. Nice conversation. My turn to "reveal". I give my standard 5 line story, (married, divorced, not looking) and my classmate does the "ohhh" thing and the "so you're not ready thing". I'm relieved.

Until we get back to the class room where she informs me her goal is to find out this guy's age, occupation and sexual orientation before training ends.

Geesh! I can only shake my head in amusement.

Training

So I started my 30 hour foster care training class this weekend so I'm sure the next few weeks will be full of my musings around the foster care system. I won't take offense if your eyes glaze over. =-)

Did you know that the first legal action (and beginnings of Child Protective Services) for child abuse was given to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals because it was determined that the lady treated her dogs better that she did her foster daughter? Ugh! Things aren't perfect but they've come a long way!

Many ideas of foster care include children revolving through 10-20-30 different placements, basically growing up in foster care, continued abuse etc. Since the passage of the Adoption and Safe Families Act of 1997, there are new timelines and "thinking" that have changed all that.

As a foster parent I can expect a home visit from the social worker every 30 days. The court hearing for a child to be placed in foster care must be within 72 hours of the child being removed from the home and the "fact finding" hearing must be withing 75 days. Then there's a hearing at 6 months and a Permancy Planning Hearing at 12 months with another court hearing every 6 months until the child is permanently placed (reunification, kinship care, adoption, guardianship, long-term foster care).

There is much more emphasis on "permanancy" and finding the right long-term, stable, nurturing situation for the child. This is even extending to adoption services to make sure the adoption "sticks".

Have you ever heard of a disrupted adoption? (I'm talking state adoptions here, not private adoption.) The foster child becomes legally free to be adopted. The child is placed with an adoptive family. 6 months later the adoption is final. Now the new family has 18 months to send the child back if they want...and if they do that is a disrupted adoption. Can you imagine being the kid in that situation?

New Year

Two mantra's for the new year -

It all counts -
- every minute
- every dollar
- every calorie

The benefit is worth the struggle.

Coming Up Roses

Talked to the lawyer again today. Looks like everything is going to be ok!

There is some little known section of the law that allows us to do exactly what we're doing. And we may have some unknown agreements in place that further reinforce the companies position.

This is apparently a really unknown section of the law if three lawyers didn't know about it! And I really think there should be a binder in HR with these "unknown" agreements in it so the HR Manager knows how to manage!

The final verdict is still to come but it looks like things are going to be ok and I'm not going to be in the dog house! Yeah!

Thank you everyone for your concern. I really appreciated the support! I'm very glad this was a short-lived crisis!

Blond Joke

Since I'm a blond, I couldn't resist this blond joke...

The Roommate

(Left on the message board at home)

I had to be to work at noon. I last let the dogs out at 11:30am. They all had a BM. See you around 5:30.


My Commentary

I had to be to work at noon. (ok - nice to know but not necessary. Ever since she said I was like a daughter we've been working on the I'm-not-responsible-to-report-to-you and You're-not-responsible-to-report-to-me thing.)

I last let the dogs out at 11:30am. (Sort of a given but ok)

They all had a BM. (Why? Why do I need to know this? I do not keep a diary of my dog's pooping schedule so why would it be so important to tell me this??)

See you around 5:30. (This is good to know. But also proves my point. The most the dogs would have been kenneled is 5.5 hours. That's it. I did not need to know about the potty time. I always let them out when I get home just like she always lets them out when she gets home.)


The Bitchy Version

Kate - got called in to my *)$# job. Dogs all took a good shit before I left. I'll be home after the casino run (if I feel like it). Hugs and kisses, The Roommate

A Good Day

Some of you will just shake your head at this but... I actually awoke in a great mood today and I think the reason is because I get to go back to work tomorrow.

Weird, I know. Don't get me wrong. Days off are very nice. But I have found that I do much better with a schedule and things to do. Without the structure of the office day, I find it way too easy to get morose and blue.

Since I have my own business, there are always things to do. But I seem to just lanquish without any sort of structure to my day. Yes, I could create structure but no, I've definately not been too successful with that self-discipline stuff.

So I'm up and moving today, feeling good and looking forward to my job and my clients the rest of the week.

'Course I may feel differently when I hear my alarm at 5:45am...

Retro

Ever since Valette posted about the Mayfly Project, I've taken to the concept. So here's my attempt to summarize 2005 in 24 words.

New Job! Breathe easier!
New business lacks business.
Summer of love - with kids.
Life coaching - refocus.
Foster parent prepare.
First business anniversary - doing better!