So can marriage make you sick?
Since I divorced I have physically felt progressively better than I have in months, years. A few friends have chalked this up to the unrecognized stress D's (my former husband) secret placed on the marriage. In short that his being gay but living in a straight marriage was so hard on him and I that I developed all my mental health problems and he drew away from me to a point where he eventually left.
There is much to ponder here. Can such a years long stress cause such illness? In both of us? I have had many mental health problems specifically with anxiety and panic. Lots of lables have been tried on - major depression, PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attacks/Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Bi-Polar Disorder, etc.
I never really truely bought into the lables except for the anxiety stuff. That seems to make sense.
Yet after years of trying to identify what was going on with me, trying to cope, trying to find the right therapist, trying to find the right meds - this biggest thing in my life happens (the divorce) and I start getting better. I'm actually in the process of weaning myself off all meds.
So am I doing so well because I have no options? No one to take care of me, no room to allow illness because I'm so busy trying to make a living, basically no safety net. Or, as some friends have thought, the exscerbation of my symptoms was from the stress of the marriage.
this is not clear-cut. It's not easy. It's very complicated. It's about the both of us and our reactions through 14 years of dating and marriage. So one little question and potiential answer does not answer all.
The concept is interesting though. Was fighting the gay part of himself such a overridding thing in his life that I somehow sensed it beneath the surface and reacted without even knowing it? Even though he has said he will not live the gay life and is not identifying himself as gay - did it have more of an emotional impact on our marriage than either of us could have gussed?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
For individuals who want to buy whizzinator cheap, a stable website is here known as Whizzinator Depot that helps you to purchase the kits from the manufacturers. Someone can browse the site to acquire complete insights about the WHIZZINATOR REFILL. This website delivers not only good quality whizzinator but also BEST FAKE URINE, and it is very efficient for folks to defeat drug tests without difficulty.
Post a Comment