We met with our adoption worker Erin this week. I have a bunch of paperwork today but she's met AJ and I've done my fingerprint check so we're on our way!
When I became a foster parent I had to be fingerprinted and checked. Now that I'm adopting a child out of foster care, I have to get fingerprinted and checked again! That doesn't make any sense to me!
On other news... I got my cell phone bill and was surprised to see $140 in charges I never made. All the charges were on the day my phone was stolen. I'm on the phone right now with my service provider...they better remove these fraudulent charges!
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Adoptive Mom to Be!
Well, it's finally happening!
The adoption worker from the state talked with me today. We set up our first meeting for Monday!!!
Things should move pretty fast from this point so I'm still hoping to have the adoption finalized by the beginning of summer. At this meeting the adoptions worker will give me AJ's file as a disclosure to the pre-adoptive parent. We'll go over the adoption support stuff. She'll direct me to go get FBI finger printed. I'll find out if I need a new home study. All sorts of stuff.
Yippee!!
This is really good news since AJ had a really bad visit with her birth mom yesterday. Her mom hasn't seen AJ in 6 months and she comes to the visit drunk. Amazing. On the one hand I'm calloused and angered by the birth mom's actions. On the other hand, I realize what a powerful hold alcohol has on this woman's life.
AJ was understandably quite upset by the visit though she was very happy to see her mom and they did share a few laughs together.
The next visit is not until September and will be under the open adoption agreement. Which means that I'll be the supervisor. And if birth mama comes drunk, this mama's going to go into serious mama-bear mode to protect my child!
The adoption worker from the state talked with me today. We set up our first meeting for Monday!!!
Things should move pretty fast from this point so I'm still hoping to have the adoption finalized by the beginning of summer. At this meeting the adoptions worker will give me AJ's file as a disclosure to the pre-adoptive parent. We'll go over the adoption support stuff. She'll direct me to go get FBI finger printed. I'll find out if I need a new home study. All sorts of stuff.
Yippee!!
This is really good news since AJ had a really bad visit with her birth mom yesterday. Her mom hasn't seen AJ in 6 months and she comes to the visit drunk. Amazing. On the one hand I'm calloused and angered by the birth mom's actions. On the other hand, I realize what a powerful hold alcohol has on this woman's life.
AJ was understandably quite upset by the visit though she was very happy to see her mom and they did share a few laughs together.
The next visit is not until September and will be under the open adoption agreement. Which means that I'll be the supervisor. And if birth mama comes drunk, this mama's going to go into serious mama-bear mode to protect my child!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Great Weekend!
As Jenn so generously reminded me, I have not been keeping up with my blog. So here's some news and highlights.
This weekend was quite a doozie. Someone broke into my house while we were sleeping and stole the contents of my purse and went through the file drawers in my desk. The first thing I heard about it is when I got a call Saturday morning from the police department saying they had some of my "personal effects" and had I experienced a robbery lately?
Yeah, that'll wake you up in the morning.
So another thing to keep from AJ. Since the robber took the contents of my purse but left my purse in its usual spot (!), I didn't realize I had been robbed. Anyway, I woke up Andrea and took her to a very compassionate friends house on the pretense I needed to shop for a surprise for her. I called my mom and sent her on and Easter basket hunt and spent the rest of the day giving a report to cops, changing the locks, canceling all my credit cards, placing holds/fraud alerts on all accounts, trying to get a new cell phone, etc., etc. So all was well on the surface when my friend brought AJ by later that afternoon.
That afternoon I got food poisoning so I laid on the couch a lot and I basically didn't eat until dinner today (gotta love diet 7-up and crackers!).
Helped AJ deal with the twin tragedies of a bleeding toe on her guniea pig and the death of her water snail (then lost my cookies yet again).
Went over to my parents for an Easter/belated birthday dinner of grilled chicken and potato salad (totally yummy but which I couldn't eat).
Then I desperately tried to do 8 hours of weekend office work in about an hour but experienced internet connectivity issues so couldn't send the documents I did manage to do to the office for the important meeting this afternoon.
So yeah - that was my weekend. How about you?
Monday Update - AJ still has no idea anything bad happened over the weekend - yeah! What I did manage to create for work over the weekend and this morning still enabled me to look totally prepared for my important meeting and I kicked butt! I got a new cell phone - a Motorolla Razr - ooo oooh! Was able to get some cash from the bank so I don't feel like I'm completely without resources for the next 10 days while new debit cards and checks show up. Feeling a bit better and enjoyed some leftover grilled chicken and potato salad for dinner.
This weekend was quite a doozie. Someone broke into my house while we were sleeping and stole the contents of my purse and went through the file drawers in my desk. The first thing I heard about it is when I got a call Saturday morning from the police department saying they had some of my "personal effects" and had I experienced a robbery lately?
Yeah, that'll wake you up in the morning.
So another thing to keep from AJ. Since the robber took the contents of my purse but left my purse in its usual spot (!), I didn't realize I had been robbed. Anyway, I woke up Andrea and took her to a very compassionate friends house on the pretense I needed to shop for a surprise for her. I called my mom and sent her on and Easter basket hunt and spent the rest of the day giving a report to cops, changing the locks, canceling all my credit cards, placing holds/fraud alerts on all accounts, trying to get a new cell phone, etc., etc. So all was well on the surface when my friend brought AJ by later that afternoon.
That afternoon I got food poisoning so I laid on the couch a lot and I basically didn't eat until dinner today (gotta love diet 7-up and crackers!).
Helped AJ deal with the twin tragedies of a bleeding toe on her guniea pig and the death of her water snail (then lost my cookies yet again).
Went over to my parents for an Easter/belated birthday dinner of grilled chicken and potato salad (totally yummy but which I couldn't eat).
Then I desperately tried to do 8 hours of weekend office work in about an hour but experienced internet connectivity issues so couldn't send the documents I did manage to do to the office for the important meeting this afternoon.
So yeah - that was my weekend. How about you?
Monday Update - AJ still has no idea anything bad happened over the weekend - yeah! What I did manage to create for work over the weekend and this morning still enabled me to look totally prepared for my important meeting and I kicked butt! I got a new cell phone - a Motorolla Razr - ooo oooh! Was able to get some cash from the bank so I don't feel like I'm completely without resources for the next 10 days while new debit cards and checks show up. Feeling a bit better and enjoyed some leftover grilled chicken and potato salad for dinner.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Confession
OMG! She confessed!!!!
AJ has a horrible, pervasive, compulsive lying problem. She will deny taking the cookie while she's still chewing it.
A month or two ago she came to me all freaked out because she had these painful, itchy bumps under her arm. Well, low and behold, there's a shaving rash under her arm and no hair!
I asked her if she shaved. Oh no. She hadn't shaved, she cut the hair with scissors! I told her I didn't believe her and that it was obvious she had used my razor without permission. She yelled, stamped around, slammed the door, loudly proclaimed I never believed her, etc. And that was the end of round one.
So tonight she comes in and is worried about her arm pit hair. She's afraid it will grow so long and never stop and people will see (remember, she's 10: young woman's developing body, little girl's head). I suggest I could teach her to shave. "Ehwee, that's gross mommy!" I pointed out to her she has shaved once before and I didn't believe her "it was the scissors" story and, if she confessed, we could talk about teaching her how to shave. She stamped off yelling about how I always think she's lying, she's never shaved, etc., etc. Hmmm. End of round two.
So tonight during bedtime prayers she asks God to forgive her for lying to mommy. And, after tuck-in tickles, she says she wants to tell me something - "very big honesty". After lots of hemming and hawing and a long irrelevant story about calling another kid a name while playing tetherball, she finally confesses.
YEAH!!!!
It is so sweet to watch her heart grow and change.
AJ has a horrible, pervasive, compulsive lying problem. She will deny taking the cookie while she's still chewing it.
A month or two ago she came to me all freaked out because she had these painful, itchy bumps under her arm. Well, low and behold, there's a shaving rash under her arm and no hair!
I asked her if she shaved. Oh no. She hadn't shaved, she cut the hair with scissors! I told her I didn't believe her and that it was obvious she had used my razor without permission. She yelled, stamped around, slammed the door, loudly proclaimed I never believed her, etc. And that was the end of round one.
So tonight she comes in and is worried about her arm pit hair. She's afraid it will grow so long and never stop and people will see (remember, she's 10: young woman's developing body, little girl's head). I suggest I could teach her to shave. "Ehwee, that's gross mommy!" I pointed out to her she has shaved once before and I didn't believe her "it was the scissors" story and, if she confessed, we could talk about teaching her how to shave. She stamped off yelling about how I always think she's lying, she's never shaved, etc., etc. Hmmm. End of round two.
So tonight during bedtime prayers she asks God to forgive her for lying to mommy. And, after tuck-in tickles, she says she wants to tell me something - "very big honesty". After lots of hemming and hawing and a long irrelevant story about calling another kid a name while playing tetherball, she finally confesses.
YEAH!!!!
It is so sweet to watch her heart grow and change.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
I don't get her
AJ get frustrated VERY easily. When confronted with any new task she immediately says she can't do it, gives up, and walks away. If pushed a bit she gets frustrated, defensive and angry. If cajoled, teased, mollified, encouraged, persuaded, etc she might try but still with lots of frustration.
For example, AJ has been playing violin since Sept. She loved playing in her Christmas concert and performed very proudly for the family on Christmas day. Well, now it's time to learn new songs. Instead of being eager to learn something new, she "practices" all the old songs. When I sit down with her and break down the new songs note by note (let's just play this first note, D. OK let's just play the second note, E) she becomes hostile, disrespectfully and bit verbally abusive.
this is not ok behavior in my book. I get that learning new stuff is hard. I get that it's frustrating. I even get that she has self-esteem, self-concept issues. But to not even try? That I don't understand.
Today we went over to my parents house to clean. AJ was vacuuming. The study had a bunch of books of the floor so she skipped it. And when I asked her if it was done she lied and said she did it. And when I showed her why I new she was lying (obvious dirt still on the carpet, no vacuum tracks), told her I wouldn't be mad and invited her to just say she hadn't done it yet she yelled and stormed about proclaiming her innocence. Difficult task = no trying and lying about it.
I'm really at a loss about this. Even the neurophsychologist who just did a bunch of testing on her called her "rigid". Learning how to approach new tasks is a fundamental skill. How I'm going to help her learn this without loosing my cool or my mind remains to be seen.
For example, AJ has been playing violin since Sept. She loved playing in her Christmas concert and performed very proudly for the family on Christmas day. Well, now it's time to learn new songs. Instead of being eager to learn something new, she "practices" all the old songs. When I sit down with her and break down the new songs note by note (let's just play this first note, D. OK let's just play the second note, E) she becomes hostile, disrespectfully and bit verbally abusive.
this is not ok behavior in my book. I get that learning new stuff is hard. I get that it's frustrating. I even get that she has self-esteem, self-concept issues. But to not even try? That I don't understand.
Today we went over to my parents house to clean. AJ was vacuuming. The study had a bunch of books of the floor so she skipped it. And when I asked her if it was done she lied and said she did it. And when I showed her why I new she was lying (obvious dirt still on the carpet, no vacuum tracks), told her I wouldn't be mad and invited her to just say she hadn't done it yet she yelled and stormed about proclaiming her innocence. Difficult task = no trying and lying about it.
I'm really at a loss about this. Even the neurophsychologist who just did a bunch of testing on her called her "rigid". Learning how to approach new tasks is a fundamental skill. How I'm going to help her learn this without loosing my cool or my mind remains to be seen.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Love my child
I love my child - I really do. But sometimes I could strangle her - she is soooo stubborn! This must be a test mommy's patience week.
Earlier in the week the 15 minutes clean out the guinea pig cage turned into 2 hours. The 45 minutes of weekly chores stretched to 8 hours!!! She's been so slow all week that she hasn't done her required 30 minutes of reading so she has 3 hours of reading to do today!!
(Internal mantra: I love my child. I will not be upset by her choices. I love my child. I will not allow her to get to me. I love my child. I will not loose my cool over this!)
=-)
Earlier in the week the 15 minutes clean out the guinea pig cage turned into 2 hours. The 45 minutes of weekly chores stretched to 8 hours!!! She's been so slow all week that she hasn't done her required 30 minutes of reading so she has 3 hours of reading to do today!!
(Internal mantra: I love my child. I will not be upset by her choices. I love my child. I will not allow her to get to me. I love my child. I will not loose my cool over this!)
=-)
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Done Deal!
Well, I'm the proud new owner of a 2007 Kia Rondo. Pictures will follow but since it was dark when I got home, there didn't seem to be much of a point.
It's an LX V6 in Navy Blue with a gray interior. It has only 10,000 miles and it still under a 5 year, 60,000 mile manufactures warranty. You know, I've never had a car with a manufacturer's warranty! I love the fact that it's blue. I test drove three cars and sat in a half a dozen other models. The Rondo fit me and my needs the best. To get it in a color I like is such a sweet, unexpected plus!
It's looks kind of small from the outside but I picked up my friend and her two sons for a test drive and it holds 5 comfortably. There is almost as much cargo space as my Passport. The second row folds flat for a very large cargo area. The visibility is great from both the front and back seat. In fact, I'm thinking about tinting the back windows to prevent some of the solar gain in the summer and help AJ who seems to be pretty sensitive to sunlight.
It has all-wheel drive, 8 air bags and Electronic Stabilization Control which, when I learned what ESC was, would have been very nice earlier this week. I think I'm getting a lot of car for the money.
They dropped the sticker price by a couple thousand for me and I financed at 5.5% which seemed to be the lowest in our area. I will forever sing the praise of Hertz Sales and Service. They really have done a fabulous job taking care of me this week. I had a great sales guy named Joseph - super easy to work with, no pressure, let me take test drives on my own for hours at a time... Just a really good experience.
I haven't heard from the insurance company but no matter what they do, I'd still be getting a new car. I'll never drive the Passport again. And Hertz dropped the price some more to get the deal done today, so I'm pretty satisfied with the financial price. Can't say that I'm happy since I now have a car payment for a few more years! But, all in all, a good day's work.
It's very nice to have it done and over with. Hopefully this week I can get everything finalized with the insurance company.
It's an LX V6 in Navy Blue with a gray interior. It has only 10,000 miles and it still under a 5 year, 60,000 mile manufactures warranty. You know, I've never had a car with a manufacturer's warranty! I love the fact that it's blue. I test drove three cars and sat in a half a dozen other models. The Rondo fit me and my needs the best. To get it in a color I like is such a sweet, unexpected plus!
It's looks kind of small from the outside but I picked up my friend and her two sons for a test drive and it holds 5 comfortably. There is almost as much cargo space as my Passport. The second row folds flat for a very large cargo area. The visibility is great from both the front and back seat. In fact, I'm thinking about tinting the back windows to prevent some of the solar gain in the summer and help AJ who seems to be pretty sensitive to sunlight.
It has all-wheel drive, 8 air bags and Electronic Stabilization Control which, when I learned what ESC was, would have been very nice earlier this week. I think I'm getting a lot of car for the money.
They dropped the sticker price by a couple thousand for me and I financed at 5.5% which seemed to be the lowest in our area. I will forever sing the praise of Hertz Sales and Service. They really have done a fabulous job taking care of me this week. I had a great sales guy named Joseph - super easy to work with, no pressure, let me take test drives on my own for hours at a time... Just a really good experience.
I haven't heard from the insurance company but no matter what they do, I'd still be getting a new car. I'll never drive the Passport again. And Hertz dropped the price some more to get the deal done today, so I'm pretty satisfied with the financial price. Can't say that I'm happy since I now have a car payment for a few more years! But, all in all, a good day's work.
It's very nice to have it done and over with. Hopefully this week I can get everything finalized with the insurance company.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
thanks!
Thank you all for your sweet comments and concerns. Last night it all started to hit me. I've been feeling pretty anxious today (NOT a good feeling if you know my mental history). Starting to do better tonight.
Very frustrated with trying to decide what kind of car to get. When we bought the passport, interest rates were very low and I've only been paying a bit over $200 a month. Well, I don't want to finance for another 60 months so trying to find a really good SUV, low miles, relatively new for $15k is a challenge. I just hate to shop!
The soreness is starting to fade (the two glasses of wine last night helped!) I'm having headaches so I think I need a couple chiro adjustments.
Thank you Kiana for the consumer report option -I'll probably take you up on it when I decide what I'm going to do! Unfortunately I probably won't get much for my car. It's a 98 and was only worth about $3,000. So I'll probably get enough to pay off the loan and put a bit down on my next car but thats about it.
And get this - my insurance company is paying to have my car towed 150 miles away to their "consolidated" adjustment garage. I don't understand that at all! How is it cost effective to tow vehicles from one major metro area to another? Anyway, I might hear from them tomorrow on my settlement but it will more likely be Mon/Tue.
I'm trying to get excited about a new car but at this point I'm just really bummed I've been set back 2-3 years on my get-debt-free plan!
Thanks for all the love!
Very frustrated with trying to decide what kind of car to get. When we bought the passport, interest rates were very low and I've only been paying a bit over $200 a month. Well, I don't want to finance for another 60 months so trying to find a really good SUV, low miles, relatively new for $15k is a challenge. I just hate to shop!
The soreness is starting to fade (the two glasses of wine last night helped!) I'm having headaches so I think I need a couple chiro adjustments.
Thank you Kiana for the consumer report option -I'll probably take you up on it when I decide what I'm going to do! Unfortunately I probably won't get much for my car. It's a 98 and was only worth about $3,000. So I'll probably get enough to pay off the loan and put a bit down on my next car but thats about it.
And get this - my insurance company is paying to have my car towed 150 miles away to their "consolidated" adjustment garage. I don't understand that at all! How is it cost effective to tow vehicles from one major metro area to another? Anyway, I might hear from them tomorrow on my settlement but it will more likely be Mon/Tue.
I'm trying to get excited about a new car but at this point I'm just really bummed I've been set back 2-3 years on my get-debt-free plan!
Thanks for all the love!
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
I'm Fine!
Well, since a picture is supposedly worth a 1,000 words, here's mine for the day. I'm fine, AJ was not with me and I'm really ok.I was driving to work on a snowy day, fishtailed, hydroplaned and lost control. I actually tried to drive it into the ditch hoping I could stop and perhaps drive out again. Unfortunately, my right front tire and the angle of the ditch didn't agree so over I went.
Not the most pleasant experience but I really am fine. I was wearing my seatbelt (PTL!) and came to rest hanging upside down. I was able to crawl out the back door. I scraped my knee and am feeling some sore muscles in my neck and shoulders but that's all.
A very nice lady called 911 and got the cops out and let me sit in her car until the officer arrived. Got a tow, a loaner car and the insurance claim started. Missed a day of work on the day I was supposed to give a very important presentation but oh well. My boss has been great and very understanding.
The first thing the tow truck guy said to me was "So, what kind of new car are you getting?" So yeah, I'm 99% sure they're going to total it.There's a part of me that's very sad about losing this car. It's really the last part of Alaska and my married life that's still a part of my new day-to-day life. When I went to the tow lot to clear out my personal stuff, I got a bit teary eyed. I remember buying the car with Damon, hauling all our band gear, driving the Alcan... it feels like another chapter of my former life is closing - a chapter I didn't even realize was still open.
The other very frustrating thing is I was ONE MONTH from paying off the car completely! I've really been working very hard to become debt free. I've been very excited to be out from under the car payment and apply the money to eliminating the last of my debts. I think I've almost been sadder today about this financial setback than about the accident itself!
I haven't told AJ at all. She only knows that my car had an issue so we have a loaner car again and mommy thinks it's time we buy a new car. She is very fearful and if she knew what had happened she would be scared and nervous to get into the car for the next few years (and I'm not exagerating). On the way to school today I had a MINOR fishtail going around the corner. She immediately popped up her head (she had been reading). "Are we all right? Oh, my gosh, we could have been killed! Can you drive mommy? That was so scary!!" And she told this story to her mentor this afternoon and told me about it at least twice more this evening. And that was for a minor, no danger tiny fishtail!!! So my parents and friends have agreed to let me freak out with them but mums the word when it comes to AJ! =-)
I'll post a picture when I decide on my new car!
Monday, December 24, 2007
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas to all my faithful readers, friends and family! May all the blessings of the season be in your homes today!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Crazy Kid
AJ just had her first orchestra concert. She did pretty well on the violin. She's decided that next year she wants to be in the choir and play the sax. Oh joys - listening to the learning squeaks of another instrument! =-)
Tomorrow is her quarterly visit with her mom. She has been a complete bear to live with the past two weeks. Her temper flares white hot in an instant then she's all lovey-dovey and remorseful. I'm tired just trying to keep up!
I've also just signed my Open Adoption Agreement. Whoo whee! A friend of mine just went through the adoption process with her two boys and we kept commenting on how much like a wedding it feels. I'm totally in the "I'm so excited I'm engaged (but what about the forever part?!?!?)!"
We still have months worth of processing and paperwork to do. The earliest would be the start of summer. Personally I'm hoping for the end of August. Will keep you posted!
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Perfect Day
Have you ever had just that perfect day at work? Where everything you've done for a year coalesces into a great shiny moment? When you know you've had an impact? When you bide your time and hold your tongue and just at the right moment make an observation that turns the entire tide of the conversation? When you get thousands of dollars in concessions when there were zero dollars on the table to begin with? When you just are riding high because what you said is now being echoed by the company owner and the company President?
Yeah...
Yeah...
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Orlando!
AJ and I just returned from a most amazing week.
I had a work conference for 1.5 days in Orlando, FL so we turned it into a week long vacation (vacation at a lower price - yeah!). What an amazing opportunity we had. We did Sea World,
WDW - Magic Kingdom, Busch Gardens and Discovery Cove. All were amazing. We did a lot of animal focused things since that is AJ's current passion.
I definitely needed a break after we returned - we were busy from sun-up to sun-down!
By day 3 my feet were killing me. My favorite place was Discovery Cove. I found a really great deal online that allowed us to both spend a day in this resort like place and swim with tropical fish, sting rays, and oh yes - dolphins. I hitched a ride to the beach with a dolphin. Is that not the coolest thing ever?!?!?! AJ LOVED the stingray pool. I kept teasing her she was going to turn into a sting ray.
here's a bunch of photos...
I had a work conference for 1.5 days in Orlando, FL so we turned it into a week long vacation (vacation at a lower price - yeah!). What an amazing opportunity we had. We did Sea World,
WDW - Magic Kingdom, Busch Gardens and Discovery Cove. All were amazing. We did a lot of animal focused things since that is AJ's current passion.
I definitely needed a break after we returned - we were busy from sun-up to sun-down!
By day 3 my feet were killing me. My favorite place was Discovery Cove. I found a really great deal online that allowed us to both spend a day in this resort like place and swim with tropical fish, sting rays, and oh yes - dolphins. I hitched a ride to the beach with a dolphin. Is that not the coolest thing ever?!?!?! AJ LOVED the stingray pool. I kept teasing her she was going to turn into a sting ray.
here's a bunch of photos...
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Summer of adoption
Hello there everyone! I see it has been a long time since I posted. I haven't really given up on blogging - I just haven't gotten around to it. And I'm sorry I missed some of your comments (sorry Jenn!). For some reason my email is acting up and I'm not getting all my comments (which are my reminders to get on here and post!).
Andrea made her decision right before school started. A couple weeks into school, I started noticing her school papers coming home with her first name and my last name. She is so excited about being adopted, she just started switching her name! At that point, we hadn't really talked a lot about name changes but since then we've had lots of discussions. And now, I am very happy to say, we have decided on her new name - AJM.
Remember when I posted AV didn't know her own middle name? In a weird twist, she doesn't have a last name in common with either her birth mother or her birth father. Apparently her dad did some genealogical research and decided he had an incorrect last name so he changed his last name with the intention of changing AV's at a later point. OR he gave AV this new last name and never got around to changing his. Or some such thing.
Anyway, the result is she never had a last name in common with her family and she never really knew her middle name. So a new name that identifies her as my child and as part of an extended family? A very big deal.
Did you ever keep lists of baby names you wanted to eventually name your kids? I did. I had all sorts of great names like Acacia Dawn. When I married I/we chose Diandra Joy for a girl and Daylen Asher for a boy. Of course, I never had children so I've never been able to name any child. With AV, I have the privilege of naming her A. Joy M. She keeps her first name her birth mom gave her, she gets a new middle name from this mommy that will constantly tell her how glad I am to have her in my life and she gets a last name that forever and always ties her into a common family.
This summer has been one of stress and great joy. AV was in counseling all summer to think over the issue of adoption. Deciding she wanted to be adopted was soooooo very stressful for her. She started having behavior issues, nightmares and frequent headaches/stomach aches. I was getting really worried about her. Together her counselor, social worker and I reframed the purpose of the counseling from “I have to decide about adoption” to “everyone would like your input on guardianship vs. adoption.”
AV made the decision at the end of the summer that she would like to be adopted and the plan was officially changed in court last month. Yeah! Because of some legal issues with the birth parents, we're probably 8-12 months away from the actual, legal adoption. But the process is started and we know what the future holds!
In June we celebrated one year together as a family and we had our picture taken. Thought you'd like to see us.
Once AV gave her adoption "input", she became a different child. She hasn't stopped singing. She's a cheerful, bouncy, happy, giggly girl. We've had minimal behavior problems. I keep waiting for the after-decision-honeymoon period to end, but she is still this new, happy child. It's like a huge weight was lifted. It's breathtaking to experience the difference. I know I'm not explaining it well. While I've always seen AV as a basically good-natured child, since her decision to want to be adopted, it's like a floodgate of sunlight has been released inside her. She just beams! I will tell you, it's just humbling to be a part of such a journey.Andrea made her decision right before school started. A couple weeks into school, I started noticing her school papers coming home with her first name and my last name. She is so excited about being adopted, she just started switching her name! At that point, we hadn't really talked a lot about name changes but since then we've had lots of discussions. And now, I am very happy to say, we have decided on her new name - AJM.
Remember when I posted AV didn't know her own middle name? In a weird twist, she doesn't have a last name in common with either her birth mother or her birth father. Apparently her dad did some genealogical research and decided he had an incorrect last name so he changed his last name with the intention of changing AV's at a later point. OR he gave AV this new last name and never got around to changing his. Or some such thing.
Anyway, the result is she never had a last name in common with her family and she never really knew her middle name. So a new name that identifies her as my child and as part of an extended family? A very big deal.
Did you ever keep lists of baby names you wanted to eventually name your kids? I did. I had all sorts of great names like Acacia Dawn. When I married I/we chose Diandra Joy for a girl and Daylen Asher for a boy. Of course, I never had children so I've never been able to name any child. With AV, I have the privilege of naming her A. Joy M. She keeps her first name her birth mom gave her, she gets a new middle name from this mommy that will constantly tell her how glad I am to have her in my life and she gets a last name that forever and always ties her into a common family.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Amazing Show
Still don't like Vegas that much but I have seen Second City and Mystere... and loved them!! Second City was very funny - great sketch and improv.
And then there was Cirque du Soleil - OMG AMAZING! I've seen them on TV and to see them live was just so wonderful!!!! Liquid muscle in motion. A completely engrossing production. The music, the costumes, the lighting - there are not enough superlatives. I'm so very, very glad I went (and was so tempted to buy another ticket.) When I'm rich I would be so tempted to come to Vegas just to see Cirque.
And then there was Cirque du Soleil - OMG AMAZING! I've seen them on TV and to see them live was just so wonderful!!!! Liquid muscle in motion. A completely engrossing production. The music, the costumes, the lighting - there are not enough superlatives. I'm so very, very glad I went (and was so tempted to buy another ticket.) When I'm rich I would be so tempted to come to Vegas just to see Cirque.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Las Vegas!
I'm going to Vegas, baby!!!
At least that's what I was going to say last week when I had every intention of posting. The annual Human Resources convention is in Vegas this year and my company is sending me! I have been so excited - about the conference, about seeing Vegas for the first time, about just getting away for a few days!
Well, I can now say I would never choose to come to Vegas on my own. I have been long away from my fervent church days, but even without my past Christian intensity, my heart is sad and sickened by Vegas.
I was riding the conference shuttle back to my hotel (staying at the Flamingo - dive of a big hotel - definitely do not recommend it) and watched this guy on the sidewalk handing out business card sized ads for girls wearing a t-shirt proclaiming your dream girl can be in your room in 20 minutes or less!
Yech! And all the ads for the strip tease shows and erotica shows...
Vegas is pretty overwhelming for a small town girl. I feel better today than yesterday when I was trying to deal with sensory overload on about 4 hours of sleep. There are some pretty things and I hope to see a few good shows (I'm going to Second City tonight). Still, the Strip just kindof turns my stomach.
The conference itself has been great so far. I attended a pre-conference session on finance and accounting for non-financial peoples. Yawn, yawn...I know. Very important stuff to know though. So I signed up for this 8 hour course. Turns out we had an extremely gifted teacher who presented the basics with humor, interaction and really got how hard it is for the non-financially trained mind to wrap their heads around terms like assets, owner's equity, accumulated depreciation, retained earnings and the like.
The opening session of the conference featured a performance by Ruben Studdard and the keynote address by Lance Armstrong. It was cool to think I've heard Ruben live, but I'm not a huge fan of his. Lance Armstrong related his cancer story and passion to find a cure through the Lance Armstrong Foundation. Did you know his foundation has sold 60 million of those yellow Live Strong wrist bands? At a buck each, that's a lot of fundraising! Anyway, he was funny and passionate and good speaker.
Tomorrow is busy, busy, busy with classes and such. I fly back home on Wednesday and then I'm off work until July 5th! YEAH!!!! AV and I are going to take a 3 day camping trip to a local lake for some fishing and swimming. Should be fun!
At least that's what I was going to say last week when I had every intention of posting. The annual Human Resources convention is in Vegas this year and my company is sending me! I have been so excited - about the conference, about seeing Vegas for the first time, about just getting away for a few days!
Well, I can now say I would never choose to come to Vegas on my own. I have been long away from my fervent church days, but even without my past Christian intensity, my heart is sad and sickened by Vegas.
I was riding the conference shuttle back to my hotel (staying at the Flamingo - dive of a big hotel - definitely do not recommend it) and watched this guy on the sidewalk handing out business card sized ads for girls wearing a t-shirt proclaiming your dream girl can be in your room in 20 minutes or less!
Yech! And all the ads for the strip tease shows and erotica shows...
Vegas is pretty overwhelming for a small town girl. I feel better today than yesterday when I was trying to deal with sensory overload on about 4 hours of sleep. There are some pretty things and I hope to see a few good shows (I'm going to Second City tonight). Still, the Strip just kindof turns my stomach.
The conference itself has been great so far. I attended a pre-conference session on finance and accounting for non-financial peoples. Yawn, yawn...I know. Very important stuff to know though. So I signed up for this 8 hour course. Turns out we had an extremely gifted teacher who presented the basics with humor, interaction and really got how hard it is for the non-financially trained mind to wrap their heads around terms like assets, owner's equity, accumulated depreciation, retained earnings and the like.
The opening session of the conference featured a performance by Ruben Studdard and the keynote address by Lance Armstrong. It was cool to think I've heard Ruben live, but I'm not a huge fan of his. Lance Armstrong related his cancer story and passion to find a cure through the Lance Armstrong Foundation. Did you know his foundation has sold 60 million of those yellow Live Strong wrist bands? At a buck each, that's a lot of fundraising! Anyway, he was funny and passionate and good speaker.
Tomorrow is busy, busy, busy with classes and such. I fly back home on Wednesday and then I'm off work until July 5th! YEAH!!!! AV and I are going to take a 3 day camping trip to a local lake for some fishing and swimming. Should be fun!
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Japan memories
As a junior in high school, I had the amazing opportunity to spend a school year in Japan. It was a wonderful experience and I brought back a lot of memories.This trimester, AV's class has been studying Japan. I volunteered to share my experiences so last week I was the guest speaker in AV's class.
I had great fun pulling out all my Japan memorabilia. I shared a couple games with them, let them look at my photo album, play with real chopsticks, etc. At the end, I dressed AV up in my yukata (summer weight kimono). The funny thing is the Japanese ladies made it extra long and big to fit my western frame. So putting on an extra sized adult kimono on a small child was fun!
Here's a picture of AV all dressed up...
Monday, May 28, 2007
Holiday Mutterings
Happy Memorial Day to you!
And to all the familes of the service men and women who lost their lives, sincere condolences on this day of memories. And to all those still serving, my sincere thanks.
The latest behavior focus in our household has been obedience - doing what you've been told, when you were told, even if you don't want to!
This is apparently a new concept for my sweet child who would rather argue a thing to death than simply do as she has been told.
So she had her skateboard and was playing with the neighborhood children at my parents house. She had her helmet on and they were on the sidewalks and trying to jump the curb - no problem. So I go out and tell her to gather her stuff; it's time to go. 10 minutes later, no daughter. I go outside and call, no daughter.
I'm looking around and out of the corner of my eye I see movement. I whip my head around in time to see my daughter skateboarding down a steep driveway, into the street, without a helmet after I've told her to come in!
I was so scared and furious in that moment. I don't think she had any idea how fast she was going or how long it would take a car to see and try to avoid hitting her. Later, in my fear and rage I told her "you could have been killed!". She only tried to argue and wanted to know how she could have been killed. Anything to deflect attention off her choices and actions.
So as a consequence, sweet child is in room restriction for two days. No TV, no outside play, no going in the just-opened-this-weekend swimming pool. Her comment when I said no swimming? "You didn't say no swimming just for doing that!" So, she deliberately chose to disobey. Argh!
And to all the familes of the service men and women who lost their lives, sincere condolences on this day of memories. And to all those still serving, my sincere thanks.
The latest behavior focus in our household has been obedience - doing what you've been told, when you were told, even if you don't want to!
This is apparently a new concept for my sweet child who would rather argue a thing to death than simply do as she has been told.
So she had her skateboard and was playing with the neighborhood children at my parents house. She had her helmet on and they were on the sidewalks and trying to jump the curb - no problem. So I go out and tell her to gather her stuff; it's time to go. 10 minutes later, no daughter. I go outside and call, no daughter.
I'm looking around and out of the corner of my eye I see movement. I whip my head around in time to see my daughter skateboarding down a steep driveway, into the street, without a helmet after I've told her to come in!
I was so scared and furious in that moment. I don't think she had any idea how fast she was going or how long it would take a car to see and try to avoid hitting her. Later, in my fear and rage I told her "you could have been killed!". She only tried to argue and wanted to know how she could have been killed. Anything to deflect attention off her choices and actions.
So as a consequence, sweet child is in room restriction for two days. No TV, no outside play, no going in the just-opened-this-weekend swimming pool. Her comment when I said no swimming? "You didn't say no swimming just for doing that!" So, she deliberately chose to disobey. Argh!
Monday, May 21, 2007
Too Soon!
So this morning AV and I are sharing the bathroom counter as we do every morning when she decides to "draw" a line down the middle. Teasing her, I step over the "line" into her "space" and she bursts into real, sobbing tears.
She's crying on a Monday morning, in the bathroom because she has no room to do her hair.
I have one word for you people...
HORMONES!
(and may I remind you this is my 9 year old, third grade daughter!)
She's crying on a Monday morning, in the bathroom because she has no room to do her hair.
I have one word for you people...
HORMONES!
(and may I remind you this is my 9 year old, third grade daughter!)
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