Confession

OMG! She confessed!!!!

AJ has a horrible, pervasive, compulsive lying problem. She will deny taking the cookie while she's still chewing it.

A month or two ago she came to me all freaked out because she had these painful, itchy bumps under her arm. Well, low and behold, there's a shaving rash under her arm and no hair!

I asked her if she shaved. Oh no. She hadn't shaved, she cut the hair with scissors! I told her I didn't believe her and that it was obvious she had used my razor without permission. She yelled, stamped around, slammed the door, loudly proclaimed I never believed her, etc. And that was the end of round one.

So tonight she comes in and is worried about her arm pit hair. She's afraid it will grow so long and never stop and people will see (remember, she's 10: young woman's developing body, little girl's head). I suggest I could teach her to shave. "Ehwee, that's gross mommy!" I pointed out to her she has shaved once before and I didn't believe her "it was the scissors" story and, if she confessed, we could talk about teaching her how to shave. She stamped off yelling about how I always think she's lying, she's never shaved, etc., etc. Hmmm. End of round two.

So tonight during bedtime prayers she asks God to forgive her for lying to mommy. And, after tuck-in tickles, she says she wants to tell me something - "very big honesty". After lots of hemming and hawing and a long irrelevant story about calling another kid a name while playing tetherball, she finally confesses.

YEAH!!!!

It is so sweet to watch her heart grow and change.

I don't get her

AJ get frustrated VERY easily. When confronted with any new task she immediately says she can't do it, gives up, and walks away. If pushed a bit she gets frustrated, defensive and angry. If cajoled, teased, mollified, encouraged, persuaded, etc she might try but still with lots of frustration.

For example, AJ has been playing violin since Sept. She loved playing in her Christmas concert and performed very proudly for the family on Christmas day. Well, now it's time to learn new songs. Instead of being eager to learn something new, she "practices" all the old songs. When I sit down with her and break down the new songs note by note (let's just play this first note, D. OK let's just play the second note, E) she becomes hostile, disrespectfully and bit verbally abusive.

this is not ok behavior in my book. I get that learning new stuff is hard. I get that it's frustrating. I even get that she has self-esteem, self-concept issues. But to not even try? That I don't understand.

Today we went over to my parents house to clean. AJ was vacuuming. The study had a bunch of books of the floor so she skipped it. And when I asked her if it was done she lied and said she did it. And when I showed her why I new she was lying (obvious dirt still on the carpet, no vacuum tracks), told her I wouldn't be mad and invited her to just say she hadn't done it yet she yelled and stormed about proclaiming her innocence. Difficult task = no trying and lying about it.

I'm really at a loss about this. Even the neurophsychologist who just did a bunch of testing on her called her "rigid". Learning how to approach new tasks is a fundamental skill. How I'm going to help her learn this without loosing my cool or my mind remains to be seen.

Love my child

I love my child - I really do. But sometimes I could strangle her - she is soooo stubborn! This must be a test mommy's patience week.

Earlier in the week the 15 minutes clean out the guinea pig cage turned into 2 hours. The 45 minutes of weekly chores stretched to 8 hours!!! She's been so slow all week that she hasn't done her required 30 minutes of reading so she has 3 hours of reading to do today!!

(Internal mantra: I love my child. I will not be upset by her choices. I love my child. I will not allow her to get to me. I love my child. I will not loose my cool over this!)

=-)

Done Deal!

Well, I'm the proud new owner of a 2007 Kia Rondo. Pictures will follow but since it was dark when I got home, there didn't seem to be much of a point.

It's an LX V6 in Navy Blue with a gray interior. It has only 10,000 miles and it still under a 5 year, 60,000 mile manufactures warranty. You know, I've never had a car with a manufacturer's warranty! I love the fact that it's blue. I test drove three cars and sat in a half a dozen other models. The Rondo fit me and my needs the best. To get it in a color I like is such a sweet, unexpected plus!

It's looks kind of small from the outside but I picked up my friend and her two sons for a test drive and it holds 5 comfortably. There is almost as much cargo space as my Passport. The second row folds flat for a very large cargo area. The visibility is great from both the front and back seat. In fact, I'm thinking about tinting the back windows to prevent some of the solar gain in the summer and help AJ who seems to be pretty sensitive to sunlight.

It has all-wheel drive, 8 air bags and Electronic Stabilization Control which, when I learned what ESC was, would have been very nice earlier this week. I think I'm getting a lot of car for the money.

They dropped the sticker price by a couple thousand for me and I financed at 5.5% which seemed to be the lowest in our area. I will forever sing the praise of Hertz Sales and Service. They really have done a fabulous job taking care of me this week. I had a great sales guy named Joseph - super easy to work with, no pressure, let me take test drives on my own for hours at a time... Just a really good experience.

I haven't heard from the insurance company but no matter what they do, I'd still be getting a new car. I'll never drive the Passport again. And Hertz dropped the price some more to get the deal done today, so I'm pretty satisfied with the financial price. Can't say that I'm happy since I now have a car payment for a few more years! But, all in all, a good day's work.

It's very nice to have it done and over with. Hopefully this week I can get everything finalized with the insurance company.

thanks!

Thank you all for your sweet comments and concerns. Last night it all started to hit me. I've been feeling pretty anxious today (NOT a good feeling if you know my mental history). Starting to do better tonight.

Very frustrated with trying to decide what kind of car to get. When we bought the passport, interest rates were very low and I've only been paying a bit over $200 a month. Well, I don't want to finance for another 60 months so trying to find a really good SUV, low miles, relatively new for $15k is a challenge. I just hate to shop!

The soreness is starting to fade (the two glasses of wine last night helped!) I'm having headaches so I think I need a couple chiro adjustments.

Thank you Kiana for the consumer report option -I'll probably take you up on it when I decide what I'm going to do! Unfortunately I probably won't get much for my car. It's a 98 and was only worth about $3,000. So I'll probably get enough to pay off the loan and put a bit down on my next car but thats about it.

And get this - my insurance company is paying to have my car towed 150 miles away to their "consolidated" adjustment garage. I don't understand that at all! How is it cost effective to tow vehicles from one major metro area to another? Anyway, I might hear from them tomorrow on my settlement but it will more likely be Mon/Tue.

I'm trying to get excited about a new car but at this point I'm just really bummed I've been set back 2-3 years on my get-debt-free plan!

Thanks for all the love!

I'm Fine!

Well, since a picture is supposedly worth a 1,000 words, here's mine for the day. I'm fine, AJ was not with me and I'm really ok.

I was driving to work on a snowy day, fishtailed, hydroplaned and lost control. I actually tried to drive it into the ditch hoping I could stop and perhaps drive out again. Unfortunately, my right front tire and the angle of the ditch didn't agree so over I went.

Not the most pleasant experience but I really am fine. I was wearing my seatbelt (PTL!) and came to rest hanging upside down. I was able to crawl out the back door. I scraped my knee and am feeling some sore muscles in my neck and shoulders but that's all.

A very nice lady called 911 and got the cops out and let me sit in her car until the officer arrived. Got a tow, a loaner car and the insurance claim started. Missed a day of work on the day I was supposed to give a very important presentation but oh well. My boss has been great and very understanding.

The first thing the tow truck guy said to me was "So, what kind of new car are you getting?" So yeah, I'm 99% sure they're going to total it.

There's a part of me that's very sad about losing this car. It's really the last part of Alaska and my married life that's still a part of my new day-to-day life. When I went to the tow lot to clear out my personal stuff, I got a bit teary eyed. I remember buying the car with Damon, hauling all our band gear, driving the Alcan... it feels like another chapter of my former life is closing - a chapter I didn't even realize was still open.

The other very frustrating thing is I was ONE MONTH from paying off the car completely! I've really been working very hard to become debt free. I've been very excited to be out from under the car payment and apply the money to eliminating the last of my debts. I think I've almost been sadder today about this financial setback than about the accident itself!

I haven't told AJ at all. She only knows that my car had an issue so we have a loaner car again and mommy thinks it's time we buy a new car. She is very fearful and if she knew what had happened she would be scared and nervous to get into the car for the next few years (and I'm not exagerating). On the way to school today I had a MINOR fishtail going around the corner. She immediately popped up her head (she had been reading). "Are we all right? Oh, my gosh, we could have been killed! Can you drive mommy? That was so scary!!" And she told this story to her mentor this afternoon and told me about it at least twice more this evening. And that was for a minor, no danger tiny fishtail!!! So my parents and friends have agreed to let me freak out with them but mums the word when it comes to AJ! =-)

I'll post a picture when I decide on my new car!