Random ruminations

Why is it that I feel I was closer to my core self at 18 than 35? What is it that moves us away from the person we are to be something we’re not?

I have had the opportunity in the last year and a half to re-examine and re-choose who I want to be – my attitudes, behaviors, views, opinions – everything. And what I find myself moving towards feels very familiar – like a distant memory. There are times when I can emotionally jump from now back to senior year of high school/first year of college and see a person I really like. But what happened to those in between years?

Yes, I’m divorced and that was very hard but I’m not bitter. We had many really good years together and I have a lot of really great memories. But what is it about those marriage years that pulled me away from the person I was?

I’ve actually heard from several other women lately that they have felt similarly. That somehow through the marriage and mothering process they lost their own personality. Some of these women are divorced, some are still married.

It makes me think – if I was ever to venture into the dating/marriage arena again, how would I manage the compromise of relationship while holding on to the core of me? What about this new foster parent adventure I’m about to go on?

I like this person I am becoming – much more than the person I was 2-5-10 years ago. How does one hold onto that and continue to grow?

Easter Sunday

Since you guys seemed to like the spring photos from around the apartment complex, I thought I'd share these. I took a walk in the local park on Easter Sunday...

1st Birthday

My sister-in-law just sent me pictures from my nieces 1st birthday. Looks like she's haveing a great time, doesn't it?! =-)

The Great Granola Plot

I've gotten into doing yoga. I've always loved stretching and toning more than cardio type exercise so yoga is perfect.

After doing this new yoga routine for a few weeks, I realize that many of the moves are familiar...from gym time in elementary school.

I went to elementary school in the mid-70's . Our town was very small, very quaint and had a decidedly "artistic" (read tree-hugging, granola-eating, sandal-wearing, shower-eschewing) bent.

My parents were not part of this group. They were very much white-collar professionals who scoffed at all things hippie.

So I wonder how disturbed they would be to know that my first exposure to that eastern evil of yoga was as a sweet, young, impressionable elementary school kid just going to gym class?

The Big Brother Excuse

Hi there - long time no speak!

My excuse is big brother. See, work installed a new tracking feature that now tracks each person's internet use (addresses and time spent at the address). So I decided I should be very good (being the HR person and all) and not do anything not related to work.

Which meant I never blogged because I'm too busy/tired when I get home.

But the powers-that-be discussed the company use of the computers policy and we decided personal use that did not interfere with business demands was acceptable. And since I wrote the policy, I'm now sure that taking a few minutes from my break to blog is a-ok!

Lucky you! =-)

Pictures of Summer

T and I walked around the apartment complex today taking photos of "summer". Here are her top three: